Hallo Everybody!
chorus Hi Doctor Caity!
Yep, I'm back, and I'm here with implied angst and banter. Oooh, banter. Fire on a stick! Don't ask.
So why haven't I updated recently? Well kids, the answer to that question lies with circumstances I can't control. Like the urge to hibernate now that winter has come. Hey, snakes and bears do it, why can't we? Also, that frickin' fact hut has made me pay attention occasionally.
On a different note, the words left me for a while. For some reason, I would stare at the word processor, and nothing would come out. The words and ideas, once a great and everlasting fountain of insanity, became a desert of boring and stress.
SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Gold eyes surveyed the ball. They took note of the chandelier hanging above their target: a huge smoky diamond. The eyes traced a path up the chandelier, to a ceiling fan, to a spectator's box, down an electrical wire, and finally into the kitchens to make an escape. By then, the raccoon surmised, the alarm would have sounded and the getaway car getting ready to floor the accelerator.
"Why hello there, what's your name?" A tap on her shoulder brought the raccoon out of her thoughts
"Shadow. Yours?" she replied without thinking. But then she saw just who was talking to her. Sly Cooper. The most notorious- and well known- thief this side of the Atlantic.
"That's a weird name. I'm Coy." Sly smirked.
"You have no right to talk. I realize you're coy, but I asked you what your name was, not your pseudonym." Shadow smiled right back, doing a crazed fangirl dance in her head.
"Smart. But my name really is Coy. So what is such a smart and beautiful raccoon doing here in the corner without an escort? There might be someone dangerous back here."
"The only one in this corner dangerous is I. And don't practice your flattery on me just so you can get into that fox's favor." When 'Coy' looked mock appalled, Shadow continued. "Don't think that someone in the corner watching everything wouldn't notice your rather long and intimate dance with Carmelita."
"Was it really that obvious? I need to work on my courting skills."
"Indeed. But you're not horrible. Just slightly impaired."
"Glad to know."
A silence settled. The sweet waltz the band had been playing was replaced with a concerto. That was again replaced with a minuet.
"Thirsty?"
Shadow nearly jumped. She had forgotten that she had a companion, and had been muttering plans under her breath. "Yes. Would you get me a glass of wine?" As Sly walked off, Shadow counted the seconds before she could duck away and enter the bathroom.
Once there, she slipped her dress off. Though her dress was beautiful, it exposed too much for Shadow to be comfortable. She quickly put her boots, capris, and turtleneck on. She put on her headset and tucked a camera in her belt next to her glasscutter and pliers.
"Shadow clocking in," she whispered into her headset as she vaulted herself into a ventilation duct opened via screwdriver.
"Good. Took you long enough. Take the next right," came the reply from Shadow's brother, who was on the roof with several maps and books on electrical wiring.
"Where would I be without you?"
"Probably adopted and exiting college like our parents wanted. The shaft should end in ten feet."
"Well, after school, Pa would have wanted me to join in on the family business."
"True. We just sped it all up a bit."
"Okay, I'm going to need to concentrate soon, so pipe the hell down."
"Aye, aye. This is Gordon, signing off until further notice."
Shadow unscrewed the duct cover blocking her way. It fell and clattered loudly. Shadow froze, heart pounding.
A minute passed. And another. Shadow slowly let her head out into the open. Thankfully, the box was empty. As soon as she confirmed that no one was coming for a few minutes, she hopped out of the shaft, dusted herself off, and replaced the duct cover.
Shadow then walked over to the railing, telling herself not to look down. As she grabbed the electric wire cover, she thought to herself that a fear of heights was not good for a life of thievery.
But soon she was at the point where the wire turned left and she leapt off, landing deftly on one of the many ceiling fans. Shadow climbed up the pole connecting the fan to the ceiling and then jumped to the cable holding the chandelier to the ceiling. As she climbed down, she felt increasingly anxious. The light cast by the candles was getting stronger. If any of the dancers looked down, Shadow was sure that they would see her and sound the alarm.
But nothing happened. Shadow came to the bottom of the cable and searched for a place where she could crawl through the candles and crystals to jump down. She set a foot onto a stable looking crystal, producing a musical tinkle. Shadow froze. She scanned the crowd, looking for some sign of confusion. Only one person seemed to notice.
"Shi-" Shadow stopped herself short. Sly Cooper, probably the only person who could beat her skill, was looking directly at the chandelier. Shadow berated herself for wearing black. But apparently Sly saw nothing but a shadow. He looked back down at his current dance partner, Carmelita. Shadow waited a beat, then attached a hook to the base of the cable and crawled carefully through the maze of candle, crystal, and light. As soon as she was clear of the chandelier, she let the last few feet of the rope loose and jumped down to the platform, behind the podium where the diamond was kept.
"Shadow requesting assistance," she whispered into her headset.
"Hmm? Oh. You know, you shouldn't talk about yourself in the third person."
"Idiot. Just tell me how to short the alarm already! I'm on a schedule."
"Yeah, Karina is a bit impatient. She'll want you in the car and out by three minutes ago."
"You all know I am on the same channel as you are! I heard that!" Karina yelled, through her thick Russian accent.
"So? Anyway, Shadow, I want you to open the panel to expose the wires."
"I've already done that."
"You don't always…"
"It was only once! Go on."
"I want you to strip the green wire going from the ground to the diamond." Gordon waited a moment. "Now strip the red wire going from the diamond to the ground." Another moment passed as Shadow did what she was told. "Now touch the two bare wires together and tape them."
"Done. Anything else?"
"If you did it right, then you just cut the glass, snatch the diamond, replace it with the fake, and run. If you did it wrong, I've made sure the alarm won't sound for two minutes, enough time to grab the rock and run for your frelling life."
"Oh, good!" Shadow carefully took the glasscutter from her belt. She cut a circle out, just large enough for her hand to fit through and pull out the diamond. Normally, she would take it out from the bottom, but this was a special job. She had to make sure it looked like someone else did it. Maybe someone from the Klaw gang, or a Cooper.
The thought of Sly made Shadow's hand slip for a fraction of a second. But she steadied her hand and reached through the hole in the glass. She pulled out the diamond and put it into a pouch on her belt. From another pouch, she grabbed a similar looking quartz crystal and set it into the display case.
Shadow replaced the glass circle she had cut out, released a breath she didn't know she had been holding, and stood up, turning.
"Well, hello. I didn't know you'd be here. I would have brought flowers." Sly Cooper leaned against the wall of the platform.
"I would have turned them down with an icy smile and a sneeze. I'm allergic to most floral pollens."
"What are you here for?"
"Gee. I'm not exactly sure. I was going to steal a bit of molding from the walls, but now that I see this sparkly diamond, I'm not so sure."
"Ah, but that's what I'm here for, and I sort of need it."
Shadow paused, wondering what she should tell Sly, and what she could leave out. "Well, I'll let the well known thief go ahead and steal the priceless jewel, then. If I can get your autograph."
"Do I really have a fan?"
"I'm the secretary of the fanclub."
"I'm flattered. A whole club."
"Indeed." Shadow stepped to the side, allowing Sly to get to the display case. He walked over to it, punched the glass, and grabbed the quartz, immediately running off.
Shadow sighed and jumped up to the rope she had left dangling from the chandelier. In mere minutes, she was watching the party again, examining the dancers as they milled about. She pulled out her camera and took several pictures of the entry and exit points, the guards, and the master thief who thought he had fooled them all.
"Shadow, vhat are you lookink at? Ve haf already broken into the Opera House. Ve shall not need further reconnaissance." Karina looked over from the driver's seat.
"Just in case we need to get something else out." Shadow passed picture after picture, until she realized that in her last picture, one of Sly, showed the raccoon winking and playing with a worthless quartz stone.
Well, that's what Is gots. Deal.
Now review!