I Was…
I own bulbasaur, ivysaur, venusaur, wartortle, blastoise, scyther, scizor, gloom, vileplume, pikachu, raichu, krabby, kingler and in fact, I own every pokemon but the great Celebi (D*** you, whoever took it out from crystal!!!!!!!!!!)
I was Bulbasaur, now I'm Ivysaur. I'm bigger and stronger, but I can't even stand on my hind legs anymore…
I was Ivysaur, now I'm Venusaur. I'm big and very, very slow. Every attack hits me. I can't dodge any of them…
I was Wartortle, now I'm Blastoise. I'm slow and heavy, I can barely move…
I was Scyther, now I'm Scizor. The steel that covers me is heavy, covering even my wings. I can't fly any more…
I was Gloom, now I'm Vileplume. My head is so heavy, I can barely stand…
I was Pikachu, now I'm Raichu. I have to be very careful, lest my tail leave the ground too long and I shock myself…
I was Krabby, now I'm Kingler. I can scarcely move one of my huge claws. I feel like I'm buried under a mountain whenever I try to move…
I really do have happy thoughts, my dismal ones are just so much more interesting and common. I mean, who really wants to write about nice things?
One day a bulbasaur pranced happily through the meadow. Suddenly it evolved into ivysaur. The new ivysaur was very happy to have evolved. All of bulbasur's friends came out to greet the new ivysaur. They were all very happy it had evolved. Suddenly, one of ivysaur's friends became happier and evolved from pikachu into raichu. Everyone was very happy because two of them had evolved.
Yuck!
It sounds like teletubbies or something! See? It's boring and happy. Too many people think of evolution positively. Now I have just instilled a seed of guilt into people. I'm sure one of the people who reads this will watch one of their pokemon evolve and remember this. Would you remember something about how happy a bulbasaur was to evolve? No, unless you remembered how dumb it was.