Charming Samantha

Poof! Poof! Poof! The kitchen filled with smoke and flame. It cleared up quickly as two dark haired women and one with long flowing blonde hair and a cute turned up nose appeared.

"What was that? We've been witch-napped! Sammy, this will never do!" exclaimed the younger of the two dark haired women. She threw her arms in the air and snapped her fingers. Nothing happened. "Oh no! I'm having a major power failure here! Oh bosh! You try something Sammy!"

"All right Serena. Keep your cool," replied the cute blonde as she twitched her nose. Nothing happened. "Oh MY stars! What is going on here? This doesn't look like a place where witches are kidnapped to."

"That is a good question, Samantha. What has happened? I was at home with Larry and then I found myself here. I don't recognize anything except you and your cousin. And what's that about witches? This is almost like a dream," exclaimed a frustrated Louise.

"THAT'S IT! YOU'RE having a dream. None of this is real. Especially the part about the witches!" said an excited Samantha.

Serena bit her lip and began jumping up and down. "OH right! This is a NIGHTMARE!" shouted Serena. "I need some witch's Joy Juice. NOW!"

"W-w-e-e-l-l-l-l! You might have to settle for a martini. GO check out the other rooms of this house and see if there's bar! Serena! Look at that newspaper!" exclaimed Samantha as her eyes pooped from her head.

Serena picked it up, sneered and threw it down. "San Francisco. Been there many times! Did I ever tell YOU how the entire USC Basketball Team and I rode down Market Street on TOP of that funny little cable car? It was a blast! Real far out! Ha-ha-ha-ha-HA!" giggled Serena.

Samantha screwed up her face and pointed to the discarded paper. "No, Serena. Look at the date."

"March 24, 2000. Great cosmic coments. We're in the future. And may I say without my powers! Oh, Sammy, we're trapped and no place to go! I am SO depressed. Huff!" she mumbled dropping down on the chair looking extremely troubled.

"Samantha. Have we traveled over thirty years into ..uh… the future?" asked Louise.

"I guess that's just part of your dream. Go fix yourself a drink and I'll join you later," said Samantha pushing Louise through the swinging door. "Then I'll have to figure how to get us out of here," she said quietly to herself.

Serena grabbed Louise's hand. "Come on, Louise. We'll have a party! Tell me how you met Old Cotton Top."

"You mean, Larry?" she asked puzzled.

"Right on!" exclaimed Serena as they ran together from the kitchen.

Samantha went over to the basement door and picked up the telephone.

"Oh, Darren. Please still be there!" she pleaded.

She dialed her home phone number and the recording told her that the number was listed as nonexistent. Then she reached the Connecticut operator and asked , "Darren Stephens. 1164 Morning Glory Circle. Westport."

"I'm sorry, we have no such listing," the operator reported.

Then she tried to get phone numbers for an adult Tabitha Stephens and finally in New York City, the advertising firm of McMahon and Tate.

"Surely the company is still around after all these years," thought Samantha. But even a couple of other advertising agencies had never heard of them. One gentleman seemed to have heard of them, but questioned Samantha's sanity.

"Goof grief. We don't even seem to exist wherever we are. This is too elaborate for some witch's revenge. There HAS to be another answer," exclaimed Samantha out loud.

"Sammy, oh, Sammy." cried Serena. "I found whose domicile this is. There are three young women living here. Um, Piper, Prue and Phoebe Halliwell. And this one called Phoebe has some wild threads. Look at all this skin. You two can try the other's closets. This girl's wardrobe is MI-INE. OH you are so cute there, Serena darling," she said admiring herself in the mirror.

"Serena, we aren't here to have a fashion show!" exclaimed Sam.

"Well, you deal with this mess in your way. I'll deal with it in mine. Besides without my powers, I HAVE to improvise," said Serena being cute. "At least you're in something drab. It suits you, my little mortal housewife cousin."

"Well, I .. anyway. What else is upstairs?" asked Sam.

"Just a few rooms and some stairs up to the attic. I'm going to check out he telly," said Serena. "Let's find out what's going on!" said Serena jumping onto the couch.

"You and Louise do that. I'm going through those rooms looking for some answers," said Samantha.

Most of the rooms were typical bedrooms. She really didn't know what to make of the personal computers. Prue was definitely a photographer, Piper ran some sort of business and Phoebe was a student. Nothing too unusual except that they seemed very independent for women. Then Samantha ventured up into the attic. It looked fairly normal. There was a bookstand with a very old book on it. This really tweaked Samantha's interest. She looked at the cover and it said "The Book of Shadows." Flipping through the pages she found spells of all kinds.

"OH MY STARS! These women are WITCHES!" She picked up the book and sat down to read all about the Charmed Ones.

Much later a somber Samantha came down to the living room. Louise Tate had long ago fallen asleep.

"Serena. We have to talk!" said Samantha very seriously.

"Just a second, cuz. Look at this guy. He is nuts. And he is soooo cute. I think I'm in love with Jerry Springer. He brings all these strange mortals on his show. I think he and I would do great," said Serena. "So what's up, Sammy dear?"

"These women are sisters," said Sam.

"I could have told you that. Some kind of emancipated workaholics, I'd say. No FUN whatsoever," said Serena.

"AND they're witches!" announced Samantha.

"Two words. IM-POSSIBLE. Unless they're into that DULL mortal thing you do with what's his name!" said Serena. "I see no divine magical spark around here!"

"Well, it seems they are three witches called the Charmed Ones. They have magical powers, but they only use them to battle evil warlocks and demons." explained Samantha.

"Warlocks may sometimes be no fun or spoil sports, but they aren't evil. Except for one fellow that..."

"Well, here any witch that turns evil is called a warlock. A witch can be male or female. And they are on the side of good. They can't use their powers for themselves. Which explains the lack of that "magical divine spark" around here as you put it. Each one of the sisters has one power. Moving objects, freezing time or seeing the future," explained Samantha willing flipping through the book.

"Only one power? How provincial. Like I said no fun at all. This is a dull, dull world. You go get them Jerry. Groovy!" said Serena turning her attention to the television.

"Knock, knock," came a noise from the front door.

"Someone's there. I guess I better ANSWER it," said Samantha reluctantly.

"Yes!" she said answering the door.

"Hi, sweetheart," the gentleman the odor said giving her a kiss.

Sam slapped him. "You better not do that again or MY husband will have a thing or two to say. See the ring? Now GO!" said an exasperated Samantha.

"Uh, Piper. You've never been married though that is not a bad idea. I guess I should come back later. Why is Prue passed out on the couch?" asked Leo Wyatt.

"MY aren't YOU cute! If you want to kiss someone," said Serena who hopped off the couch and fell into his arms, "I'm game. I'm a happening chick! Come on gorgeous blue-eyes. Let's get grooving!"

"Wait! Wait! Nothing seems right here. Phoebe, its Piper I love. And since when did Prue go on drinking binges? Piper, don't you love me anymore?" he asked Sam.

"I..I am starting to get it. You really think I'm Piper and she's Phoebe! Oh, that's priceless. We've been switched. It's starting to make sense, Serena!" Samantha said to her cousin.

"Piper? What sort of name is Piper? Sounds likes you're a rat exterminator from Hamlin. At least Phoebe and I have good taste in clothes. But if she's me, then that little witch must have my powers. NO FAIR! I want them back, Sammy!" said Serena stamping her foot.

"Hold it! Hold it! You're Samantha and you're Serena? Who's on the couch? Endora? Ladies either you're putting on a very large practical joke or are you two from the Bewitched show?" asked Leo.

"I am Samantha Stephens. This is my cousin Serena and that is my good friend Louise Tate. But what is Bewitched? I never heard of that show? Is it on television?" asked Samantha astonished.

"I wouldn't worry about that. You look to me like the Halliwell sisters. So they must be where you came from," said Leo looking very concerned.

"That's logical," said Sam.

"And how do we get back where we belong? I cannot bear this place any longer not when I know someone else is using my wonderful powers. Umph!" said Serena pouting.

"If things switched like that. You do have powers. Pick up that letter opener and tell me what you see, Serena," requested Leo.

"I see a nasty old letter...like wow!" exclaimed Serena as she relived a past event. "Far out! I never went in for drugs, but that was some trip!"

"Where did you go?" asked Sam confused

"I just saw those Halliwell chicks fighting something with horns and they killed it with that-that letter thing. That was one way out experience," said Serena.

"That letter opener was use to kill a demon just last month. And you have the power to see events associated with inanimate objects. Also you can cast spells to help deal with evil things too. Samantha, you can freeze objects and Mrs. Tate can move things with her mind," explained Leo.

"Huh. I could do all that if I wanted to. If I had MY powers," said Serena gloating.

Samantha threw a magazine in the air and froze it. "I got the hang of that quickly, but I don't think Louise could deal with any powers. I have found mortals just don't have the knack to perform witchcraft," said Samantha.

"Agreed. Maybe we should concentrate on a spell to have you switch places," said Leo.

"Oh, you can be an expert on me anytime, blue eyes," said Serena toying with Leo.

"I'm like their guardian angel, but I lost my wings. My name is Leo Wyatt and Piper is the love of MY life, Serena," explained Leo. He sighed hoping that Piper would be back soon.

"Well, if you ever get tired of her, call me. Oh, I love those BLUE eyes," gushed Serena.

"We should check out the Book of Shadows. It's in the attic," said Leo turning to leave.

"Oh, no. It's right here. I have some of the basics down, but I didn't see anything to send us back. I don't see any way home Mr. Wyatt," said Samantha.

"So UNLESS this is THE TWILIGHT ZONE and you're ROD SERLING, I think we're S. T. U. C. K. here. Kapesh?" stated Serena.

"Not in this is reality, of a sort. And since you three have the Halliwell's magic. we can write any spell you want. The hard thing is to get the wording right and to find out if we have enough magical power," said Leo thoughtfully.

"Well, I'll give it a try. Where are we coming from and what do I call where we want to go?" asked Samantha.

"Oh, just describe it as from this world to yours and..." said Leo not wanting to tell them that they were really fictional characters..

"Ow! It's happening..again..." said Serena who was reduced to rolling on the floor.

"SERENA! OH, MY STARS! SERENA! Are you all right?" said Sam waving her hands in front of her.

"Relax. She's just having a premonition. They can be very disorienting when you're not used to them. Serena. What did you see?" asked Leo.

"Oh bosh! Someone was appearing, let's see, over there. And he wanted something from me. My power mower, I think. Well, I DON'T even have one!" said Serena.

"Power mower?" asked Samantha screwing up her face.

"IF it's a warlock, he probably wants her power and should appear there any moment. Samantha you'll have to freeze him," explained Leo.

"I'll try, but I'm not used to these.." said Samantha who was quickly cut off.

"Good evening Charmed Ones." said a demon appearing in front of them." I am here for your..."

"Freeze, Mister!" yelled Samantha as the demon turned into statue city. "Well, done. I must say."

"Good shooting there, Tex. Now it's my turn," said Serena with that certain quirkiness in her voice.

"Um, what are you..." asked Leo holding up his hands

"Cattle and cows,
doe and buck,
first you're a thing,
now you're a duck!"

To Leo's surprise, the spell worked as the demon morphed into a small downy white duck.

"HA-ha-ha-ha-ha. You are such a genius, Serena! With any powers," she laughed heartily at herself.

Leo scratched his head. "A duck. That's not the usual send-them-to-hell routine, but it will do the job," admitted Leo. "Good work, Serena."

"That's Serena for you. Her own kind of style. And if you get hungry, you can always fricassee it. Ha-ha," joked Samantha.

Leo couldn't see consuming their demonic conquests and appeared to Samantha to be slightly sick at the stomach.

"Well, Darren never liked any of my attempts at slogans anyway. AND I do have to get back to him. Serena, any ideas?" asked Samantha.

"Since my magic of SOME kind is working, I am going to try to get us out of this D. U. L. L. world. Ready, Sammy? So long, blue eyes!" said Serena ogling Leo.

"From our world
and everything in between,
I've had enough,
Let's bl-ooo-w this scene!"

"Tw-aaannng!" came some unseen sound source indicating a misfired spell.

"I didn't like the sound of that sound," said Samantha still standing in Halliwell Manor.

"Oh double bother. Nothing!" said Serena. "I guess..Sniff I've lost it!"

"Don't give up hope yet. Let me try! Cross your fingers!" said Sam double crossing her own.

"From the East, South, West and North,
Bring me spirits to transport,
Witches aren't where they are to be,
Change them with Serena, Louise and me,
Halliwell's return to their rightful place,
Occupying their original space.
Send us now to the Stephen's home,
And no longer shall we roam."

Poof! Poof! Poof! The living room felled with smoke and flame. As it cleared, Samantha and Serena were waving their arms trying to clear the smoke.

"Triple bother. We didn't move and inch!" cried out Serena. "That was all fireworks and no fizzle there, cuz," exclaimed Serena in her nasal voice.

"W-w-e-e-l-l, I tried. I'm sorry Serena, but I've got a pooped popper. And I'm all out of ideas. Oh, Darrin. I'm trying to get home! And Tabitha, too. Mommy wants to get home!" she cried to the ceiling.

"Darrin, probably thinks Piper is you. Just like YOU are now Piper!" giggled Serena devilishly.

"PLEASE. Give me some good news," groaned Samantha.

Ring.

"What was that?" asked Serena.

"Just the modern telephone. I'll get it. Hello. No, I don't think she's available. No. I don't think she can do that. Oh. Oh. OK. We'll be right over. Thanks, Paul. Bye," said Leo.

"It seems the Health Inspector will be down at Piper's, I mean, your club and he needs Piper's assurance NOW or he's going to close down the place. Samantha, I need Piper's image down at the club. Can you help Piper out?" asked Leo.

"I guess I might as well try. Maybe something will occur to me while we're out. We can't leave sleeping beauty there. Come on Serena and help me out," said Samantha.

"A club. Sammy, you own a club here? What kind, blue eyes?" she asked excitedly.

"Current contemporary music. There's a DJ, I mean, a disc jockey there tonight," said Leo.

"Sounds Mar-VEL-ous. LEW-EASE. LEW-EASE. Get up. It's ladies night out!" said a very excited Serena.

"Uh, who, what. Why am I still dreaming in the daytime?" asked Louise yawning.

"Oh, Louise. You are definitely still dreaming. But we have to move your dream to the club. Come on, Louise." said Samantha.

Leo put them all in Piper's Cherokee and headed for P3.

When they pulled into the parking lot, Serena called out to the crowd. "Hello, hello! The party's ready to start. SER-EN-A is HERE!"

"Serena, you're Phoebe remember," said Leo quietly.

"Oh yea. WELL PHE-BE is here and her pot's going to BOIL!" she said jumping out of the car and running into the club.

"Why P3?" asked Samantha.

"Prue, Piper and Phoebe. Also their coven is known as the Power of Three. P3, get it, Samantha?" asked Leo with a smile remembering his love for his real three charges.

"Sounds logical. And I remember I'm Piper. And Louise, you're Prue!" said Samantha

"Why, Samantha? It's my dream!" said Louise. "I can be anyone I want to be."

"Just trust me. You'll get along much better," explained Sam.

"Oh Piper. I'm so glad you're here. Where are the extra cases of Heineken? Some college fraternity is having a run on it now!" said Paul running over to Samantha.

"Uh, in the back?" asked Samantha making a face.

"Look in the storage locker in the alley," said Leo.

"Right, thanks Leo. Piper, the inspector in the office wants to talk to you," said Paul running for the alley.

"Just follow my lead. This shouldn't be too hard. I know this fellow," said Leo crossing his fingers.

"I'm RIGHT behind you. Where's Serena?" asked Samantha.

"She's just doing what she always does. Have fun!" said Leo. "I think she's on the floor dancing."

In Piper's office they found a middle-aged employee from the San Francisco Health Department.

"Miss Halliwell. I received a disturbing report of a filthy buffet table and visibly dirty waiters. I had to check it out immediately," said the inspector most urgently.

"Well, OF COURSE you did." said Samantha unsure of herself.

"I know who made that report. It was on Thursday, right?" asked Leo.

"Yes. Yes, it was," the inspector replied

"Harold Maxwell. He was an underage college freshman. I threw him out myself when he got a little abusive on Wednesday night. He was just getting back at us. Miss Halliwell is an exemplarily tavern keeper. She would never stand for those conditions in her club," explained Leo.

"Oh, no I would never stand for...um..it. I'd put on my wide hip boots and I walk that dirt right out of here. I'd get out my sweeper and it would be blowing in the wind that is," said Samantha enthusiastically.

"Yes. Of course. Miss Halliwell, I have always found you most cooperative. Even over at Quake's, you ran a tight ship and were a pleasure to work with. I found no violations tonight. Just give me your assurances that it never occurred and won't in the future and I will write up a favorable report," said the health Inspector.

"IF you want my assurance, you have it. No more dirt. I'll keep on top of my um..staff. T3 will be the best bar in town," said Samantha.

"T3?" he asked confused.

"P3, she means. And you have her assurances," said Leo.

"Fine, then I'll bid you good night. Miss Halliwell. Mr. Wyatt," said the inspector. "I will let myself out."

"T3?" asked Leo after the inspector had left.

"Well, I have only owned this place for ten minutes. So how'd I do?" said Samantha with a big smile.

"Just great. If you weren't married to Darren, I'd give you a big fat kiss. You LOOK like the woman I love anyway," said Leo smiling.

"How about a handshake and some more help getting us back home?" suggested the witch from Westport.

"Deal!" agreed Leo as they walked out onto the dance floor. Everything in the club seemed wilder than usual.

"So how do you know so much about me and my family since I'm from another world?" asked Samantha.

"Believe me. You DON'T want to know!" said Leo with a smile.

Sam smiled back and shrugged.

"Where did all those wild colored lights come from?" asked Leo.

"I don't know. They just came on when Phoebe got up on that table to dance," said Paul.

"Serena!" whispered Samantha.

"I'll take care of it," replied Leo.

"Uh, Phoebe. Get down and turn off those extra lights. This isn't the Sixties you know," cried Leo over the loud music.

"HI THERE, BLUE EYES! THIS MUSIC IS GREAT! WE JUST NEEDED A LITTLE AT-MOST-FEAR. Come on up at let's go get high! I feel just like heading to the moon. WE SHALL O-VER-COME! COME ON, SAMMY! BUNNY HOP UP HERE! WHO-A-OO! YEA, BABY" Serena cried at the top of her voice.

"How do I get her down?" asked Leo.

"Wweellll! She kind of has to wind down on her own!" said Samantha. "Serena, GET DOWN HERE!"

"No, you party-pooper. My friends and me are going to dance the night away. Like where the action is, yea. Baby!" she said spinning around. "Sock it to me!"

Poof! Poof! Poof! P3 filled with smoke and flame. The smoke cleared and Samantha, Serena and Louise found themselves back in the Stephens' kitchen.

"MOTHER! You did it, didn't you? OH am I glad you did!" yelled Samantha.

"HA-ha-ha-ha. A mother always looks after her daughter. These poor pathetic evil "what's it" chasers couldn't even get into the next dimension. "I" sent them packing," said Endora.

"OH-OH, Endora. I could just KISS you," exclaimed Serena walking toward Endora.

"Please, hold the melodramatics. Just say "Thank you" and be gone," said a slightly irate Endora.

"Fine. Be that way, THANK YOU! So long super-bitch. BYE SAMMY!" said Serena as she popped out.

"What was all of that?" asked a very confused Louise Tate.

Endora zapped her and she disappeared.

"What was that for?" asked Samantha.

"Oh, that third poor excuse for a witch was very happily celebrating with Larry Tate. Now they are both gleefully doing the same. She'll have forgotten everything. Mother took care of her," said Endora with a smug smile on her face.

"Poor Louise. Well, thank you, again Mother. I'm going to go see my husband and daughter. Bye!" said Samantha happily going up the stairs.

"Too bad it wasn't DUR-WOOD who disappeared. But then maybe another time. Off to Bangkok for the boat races. Ta!" said Endora as she popped out.

Upstairs Samantha looked into Tabitha's room. Clara was asleep next to Tabitha's crib. And Darren had fallen asleep while reading a book on their bed.

"Aw, look at that. He's so cute," said Samantha.

Oh hi, Sam. Are you coming to bed?" asked Darren as he awoke from his slumber. "You look just lovely tonight, just like the first time I ever laid eyes on you in that revolving door. I just DON'T know what you did to me?" he asked kissing her.

"Something now tells me that you were bewitched," replied a love stuck Samantha.

"Isn't it the truth? Come here you, little witch," said Darren.

"Oh, I LIKE the sound of that," cooed Samantha as she reached to turn off the lights.

Sweet dreams.

THE END