"One…two…three." Each push up was becoming a struggle for Raphael, it wasn't because he was exhausted, no, it was because every time he lower himself to the floor he's imagining seeing his brother under him sweating, grabbing Raphael's buff forearm, and blushing while trying to fight the urge to moan.
"Four…five…six." Now his brother is looking at him dead in the eyes, his brown eyes turns darker swirling with pent up emotion of lust and want while moaning out Raphael's name.
Hard grunts and low growls are coming from Raphael's mouth while clinching his teeth, he couldn't take anymore of the image and was feeling anger and confusion boil inside, he got up and sat in the lotus position thinking hard on what he just imagined, "What the fuck was I thinking? There's no way in HELL have I ever thought of doing those things with him… I probably need to Jack one off, that'll probably ease me down."
After a long sigh Raphael got up and started walking out of the dojo feeling tense, he sighs heavily, he hates being tense, being the rude and rash one out of the family he usually ends up in two places when he's either tense or angry.
The dojo to practice with his sais, practice his punches and kicks on the punching bag (or his brothers), and to concentrate on his anger.
His room where he can lift weights, relax on his bed, and if he really need to, masturbate.
Masturbating was never his thing until he was twelve when he just so happened to see a porno magazine on the sewage floor and snuck it to his room.
He flipped through the pages feeling his heart pounding against his chest from fear of being caught. He didn't know what it was but what he saw was humans where either dressed messy or undressed, grabbed each other's faces mashing their lips together, hands roughly grabbed either breasts, vaginas, testicles and penises and it made Raphael felt uncomfortable.
He cringed a little at each page wondering what in the hell are they doing and wondered how it felt until he saw a page of a man sitting on a chair with his penis in his hand.
Raphael looked at the picture with curiosity and looked beyond the book and decided to pull out his appendage in between his legs to see if it was the same.
His was green (obviously) and slightly bigger in girth but that wasn't the only reason he pulled it out, he wrapped his fingers around his penis just like what he saw in the picture then softly rubbed it, his heart was up to his throat when he felt it pulses and harden against his hand.
A feeling of something unfamiliar rushed over the young turtle as he began to move more.
Until a knock on his door knocked him back to reality and quickly hid the magazine in between the floor and mattress and flew in between the sheets.
"Raphael." The pre teen stiffened, it was his father and sensei Splinter at the doorway casting a large shadow on the turtles wall, "my son, you have been hiding in your room since we came back from the tunnels, what is it that is troubling you."
The young one muffled out,"nothing… I'm just… tired." The giant rat stood not saying a word, looking at his son with a worried expression.
The rat sighs and said, "okay rest my son, your dinner will be stored in the cooler." Raphael felt upset because he had to lie to his father but he was more afraid his father would be disappointed in him if he told him what he was really doing.
After that he stopped touching himself until he was fifteen where he started to feel urges and decided to complete his urges with a weekly dose of rubbing, he never said a word about why he hid in his room at the age of twelve, or why it took him three hours to get out of the bathroom, but now he haven't been doing it as much as he use to thanks to exercising and beating up villains.
Raphael found himself in the kitchen and swung the fridge open, feeling a little chill from the cool breeze coming from the refrigerator, he bent over grabbed a carton of milk and walked over to the counter to grab a clean glass and poured the milk in the glass.
"Man that was a lot of sighing." Raphael's skin stiffen a little as he look towards the sound of the voice and found his brother walking towards a chair sitting down and starts reading the morning paper.
Raphael grunted, "nothing just a lot on my mind." He went back to look at his glass while stealing a few glances at his brother; his brother's muscles are ripped but lean unlike his bulky body.
His brother's blue bandana is tied tightly on the back of his head but the straps fell loosely like waterfalls and all Raphael wanted to do is feel those straps and bound his brother's wrists together to his bed .
Raphael whipped his head back to the milk and his body starts to stiffen up more, he cursed at himself under his breath and quickly left the kitchen. Leonardo lifted his head to tell Raphael what's happening today when he noticed he was alone in the kitchen, he just shrugs and decides to tell him later and went back to reading.
Raphael walk pass the living room where his other brother Michelangelo is playing video games on the big screen, "Oh hey Raph bro good thing you popped up! I need your help! I've been trying to find the funny underwater Easter egg everyone been talking about but I keep dying! Please for the love of our brotherhood help me!"
Raphael looks at the TV then back at his brother, "nah maybe later I'm going to go lay down."
Michelangelo pout and groan, "Geeez! sometimes you're no fun it's either the gym or your room. Heck! You spend more time with Casey than with your own kid bro!"
Raphael only snorted and waved his hand off dismissing his brother's childish tantrum.
"Mikey chill I've had a lot on my mind, and besides every time I come over to help you hog the damn game." Michelangelo looks at Raphael with puppy dog eyes and pouted, Raphael finally made it to his room but before he close the door he yells loud enough for Michelangelo to hear, "Since when did you have friends? You've been on the couch so long your turning into a snail! You're lucky Leo, Donnie and I are here or else you would've end up looking like the green blob from that outer space movie." "DUDE SHUT UP! I LIKE TO RELAX AND EAT BUT I GO OUTSIDE TOO! AND IF YOU WANNA INSULT ME AT LEAST KNOW THE MOVIE AND CHARACTER!"
All Raphael did was smirk thinking of ways to get his orange bandana brother back for talking to him back like that, but all the revenge he could think of quickly vanished when he sees his hammock, there he sees his brother laying on his hammock legs spread far away from each other his left hand on the wall while his right was moving up and down rapidly on his appendage, huffs and puffs are coming out strong the brother's muzzle.
"Raph….. ghhh!" Raphael shakes his head and notices that his brother masturbating on his hammock was only a illusion and it is becoming too much for him to handle, even though it was ONLY a illusion it still gave him a grieving hard on hidden behind his shell.
He groans in anger and climbs into his hammock with a big sigh, he releases his aching member with a swift movement, his green callous hand grips the green meat stick roughly and begins pumping himself fast in hopes to finish it early so he can try to take his mind off his brother. "Leo… goooood…. Why?" he close his eyes and try to see someone else, someone who was the opposite sex and someone entirely different from his soon to be leader. "It's… just…a phase..just a…phase." but the more he keeps saying it's a phase his image of chub material is only of Leo in very promising positions begging for Raphael to destroy his ass and make him go crazy.
With every tug Raphael feels himself get closer and closer to his bitter sweet ending when a audible tap on his door made him stop and fumble off his hammock landing on his chest, "Shit! What you want now Mikey?"
"No it's me Leo. Are you busy?"
Raph's blood runs cold as he feels his erection twitch painfully, "shit! What do you want Leo?" "Well, I have to tell you that we are needed in the dojo, master Splinter wants to tell us something important and after that Donny wants to get a certain hardware for his computer and only Casey has it. Donnie wants to get it but being busy with all the new technology he found and making new parts to the van, he can't go so I told him I'll go to Casey's house to retrieve it, I know you haven't seen him in awhile so you can come with if you want."
Raphael look deeply at the door as though trying to burn a hole through the door, he want his brother so badly that it hurts but all he can do is grit his teeth and huff, "Ok, so first the dojo in the morning and then Casey's… fine I ain't got anything better to do. nggh!"
"Raphael are you okay?!" Leo's voice is mixed with both concern and steadiness; Raphael looks at the floor with anger and disgust at the sticky liquid that spurts all over the floor making a small white almost clear puddle on the dark floor.
"Yeah… shit! Just trying to get up from my shitty hammock probably needs to get a new one while we're out."
"Oh okay… well that's all I wanted to tell you and I'll tell master Splinter that you and I are going to Casey's house after the meeting, so… good night Raphael."
Raphael felt a fast rush of guilt consume him as he came from his short high; his wish right now is to disappear into a black hole and never come out but all he can do is clean his mess, crawl on his shitty hammock and try to curl into a ball and be mentally prepare for another day.
"Shit… well here comes a very fucking stressful headache and a long ass fucking day tomorrow."