Disclaimer: I don't own any of the X-Men though having my own personal Bobby clone would not make me unhappy *grins* I have nothing save a few pencils which you may try to sue me for, but you will never get! This is my first X-Men fanfic so please be gentle! Please R&R!
Attack of the Killer Bunnies!
The fearless leader of the X-Men, Scott Summers, sighed sadly as he searched the fridge. There was nothing to drink since Rogue had touched a mutant fish on their last mission and went on a warpath using up all the liquids in the mansion. "Ah ha!" Scott exclaimed triumphantly clasping a glass of a strange pink drink close to his chest. "Must be something Jubilee bought to look cool for Logan or maybe one of Gambit's special drinks," he talked to himself philosophically. He talked to himself a lot since no one seemed to appreciate his valuable musings much. He drank it down quickly before Rogue could come in and take it from him. It left a sort of fuzzy taste in his mouth. Scott passed unconscious on the floor in a heap like Bobby's unwashed socks that were forming their own tribe in his room.
* * * * *
Scott could hear loud voices coming somewhere above him.
"Look what I found! Isn't it the coolest thing you've ever seen?" Bobby joyfully proclaimed.
"Er…. no… not really," Storm answered coming from the left of Scott.
"Can I keep it?" Bobby pleaded probably using his puppy dog face on her.
Logan's voice replied, "It's the ugliest thing I've ever seen. Who wants an ugly rabbit? Why don't we eat it?"
"Noooo! Stay away from my bunny! You always try to kill everything I bring home!" Bobby yelled and somehow whined at the same time at Wolverine.
"Bobby, I highly doubt that Logan has ever eaten a rabbit before. He was making fun of you," Storm comforted.
Scott had heard enough. He opened his mouth and began to tell Bobby that after the last time he brought home a pet, Gambit had turned out to be allergic to it. He knew that Bobby would probably bring up the fact that Gambit had never told anyone that he was allergic to baby rhinos, but then again Gambit never had seen a baby rhino before let alone wandering the mansion. Yet all that came out from Scott's mouth was a little squeaking noise. Confused he opened his eyes only to be surrounded by three giant X-Men.
"Aahhhhh!" he screamed or rather squeaked frantically.
Storm picked him up in her large hands. "By the Goddess, I believe we've frightened the poor thing." She began to scratch Scott behind his ears.
"What are you doing?! Why are you guys so big?!" he tried to cry out. "….Hey that feels good….Wait! I'm your fearless leader! Stop petting me, Storm!" Once again, his weak cries came out as equally weak squeaks.
Bobby took Scott out of Storm's hands and pulled him close. "But I promise to take good care of him! Please please please?" He made sad eyes at Storm ignoring the annoyed grunt from Logan.
"Well, I guess, but only until Jean finds Scott," Storm said reluctantly, "You know how he feels about your pets."
Logan looked at Scott, the ugly bunny boy, for a moment before speaking. "Hey your weird pet with its tiny red glasses reminded me of something. Where is four eyes?"
Storm shrugged obviously not caring where Cyclops was. "No one knows. Jean is out looking for him now. Has the Professor looked yet?"
Holding his new bunny close, Bobby replied knowingly, "No, the prof was too busy drinking all Wolverine's beer supplies and getting drunk. He's working on his hangover at the moment." Scott struggle futilely to escape his grasp but even Bobby had more strength than he did.
"WHAT?! That bald bastard!" Logan's eyes turned a scary red color and the vein on his forehead began to stand out freakishly.
Storm backed away and Bobby cringed away from the crazy man. Logan stormed off angrily muttering about how her was going to poke Xavier's eye out. Even Scott was frightened (as usual). Scott let out a girlish squeak and fainted.
* * * * *
Scott woke up in a little cage in Bobby's room. "Nooooo! Let me out!" He scampered around the cage squeaking madly.
Jubilee wandered into the room holding a fresh carrot. She peered down at the strange little bunny wearing the odd red glasses. "Here," she shoved the carrot forcefully into Scott's mouth," Eat it!" Scott choked on the piece of raw carrots something he despised above all else. He spit it out refusing to be forced to do an act which was worse than fighting against his angry wife when she was PMS-ing. "Why aren't you eating the carrot, you odd fur ball?" After trying to play with the bunny for a half-hour, Jubilee got bored of watching Scott run away from her little fireworks that she set off under his toes and left the room.
Scott sighed in relief ignoring his little scorched toes. He could hear the thunderous sounds of human footsteps coming towards the room. Huddled in fear, Scott tried to hide beneath some of the newspaper comics that Bobby had lined the cage with. His tiny red eyes widened in horror when he saw Bobby coming in the room.
Bobby hummed happily to himself proud of his new cool bunny. "Come on, Mister Bunny! You have to meet my friend, Hank."
He carried the cage into his other furry friend's lab. "Hey Hank! LookatwhatIgotnowcomeonyouhavetoseeyoujusthaveto!" He said all together rather quickly.
Hank looked up at Bobby from his special project he was working on. "Yes, my friend? What is it that you wanted to show me?"
He proudly held up the cage with Scott in it so that Beast could see. "Well now, that's a rather interesting rabbit that you have there. He might even be a new breed of rabbit! Let me do some tests on him," Hank reached out toward that cage. Scott shivered at the thought of what wicked experiments would be done on him by the curious scientist.
"No you can't do anything to my bunny!" Bobby tried to pull the cage out of Hank's hands but Hank did not want to let go of it.
"But I must! I need the Scientist of the Year award! I cannot let that Dr. Smith win again this year with his genetics research! Oh they are always sooo impressed with his 'great' findings! I will show them all!"
"Never!" Bobby transformed himself into his iced form becoming Iceman. He flung rabbit shapes icicles at Beast in attempt to thwart his evil plan. Hank let go of the cage and flung himself away from his crazed friend. While jumping out of the way from Iceman's projectiles, Beast managed to knock down Scott and the cage.
Scott banged against the cage as it hit the floor and felt his glasses drop off his furry face. A powerful beam flared out from his eyes demolishing one of the lab walls before he managed to remember to close his eyes. "Look at what your rabbit did to my lab!" Hank angrily exclaimed. "He just destroyed my project I had been working on for three years! Do you hear me! Three years! Now I will never come up with a new type of cheese in time for the Scientist of the Year award!" Hank put his hairy head in his hands sadly.
"Wait! Do you know what this means?" Bobby back in his normal form said in an awed voice. Scott bounced up in down on his rabbit feet looking even more odd then usual squeaking with glee. Finally they knew!
Hank pondered for a moment before answering. "That you have a cool rabbit with mutant powers?"
"Yes! I have the first mutant bunny in the world!" Bobby picked up Scott and hugged him. "We'll be rich and famous!" Annoyed at them beyond describable words, Scott opened his eyes and blasted them unconscious. He managed to get his little red glasses back on his head. Wiggling down the hall, Scott began his long journey down to the kitchen where he hoped to find the Professor.
* * * * *
Scott finally arrived to the kitchen only to find no one there. Enraged, he once again used his powers to destroy yet another wall in attempt to get some attention. Storm and Logan stumbled out of Logan's room, the former with rather wild looking hair and her shirt buttoned wrongly and the latter shirtless.
"By the Goddess, who dares disturb us?!" Storm angrily said.
Logan looked down at Scott. "Dunno, darling, but there's that ugly thing again." Scott tried vainly to tell them that he was not any ugly rabbit, but they did not understand his offended squeaks.
Just then, the Professor came in the room looking rather greenish and not too happy. "Logan, perhaps it is time for you to find a better brand of alcoholic substance to bring home."
"Why? No one else should be drinking it but me. I like it," he said giving Xavier an if-you-drink-my-beer-again-I-will-poke-you-in-the-eye-with-my-claws look. The Professor looked guilty and changed the subject.
"That's a..er..mm..interesting pet you have."
"Not mine. It's Bobby's." The professor nodded like that explained everything.
Jean entered the room looking frustrated. "I just can't find Scott! Where the hell is he?" She stopped in her tracks peering down at the strange dancing bunny by her feet that was wearing red glasses. "Scott? Why are you a rabbit?" Everyone stopped and stared at her.
"By the Goddess, you mean….?"
"Storm must that be the only thing you can say? And I knew there was something odd with that rabbit!"
"I feel sick…"
Scott was thrilled! Finally, his wife would make everything well, he just knew she would! He smiled up at her in his rabbit way feeling his little heart fill with love. Logan snickered down at him and poked him with his shoe. "An improvement over his regular self I say."
"Why didn't you sense that he was Scott, Professor?"
"Well, erm…I'm not really a telepath. I'm just a good guesser sometimes," he admitted reluctantly.
"HUH?" The others exclaimed.
"And well I've never told you the real reason I'm filthy rich either. You see I used to be a gigolo before an angry husband of one of my fans beat me up. Want to see my dance?" The Professor did some odd wiggling dance in his wheelchair. Storm and Jean looked disgusted and Logan just snickered again. "Laugh all of you! Jealous of my talent," he wheeled away muttering about ungrateful bums.
"Well what are we going to do with Scott?" Storm questioned Jean.
"Um I always wanted a rabbit." Jean carried her new rabbit husband away.
Beast walked into the room looking rather dazed still and peeked in the fridge. "Has anyone seen my pink rabbit shape changing formula?" Everyone said no and all went out to party. Scott the bunny was a big hit with all the ladies and Jean had to beat them off with a giant carrot. Scott was frightened by the giant carrot and fainted. He hates carrots.