Laura tossed and turned in bed. She was exhausted, and her body hurt all over, but sleep wouldn't come. It hadn't been even a day after they took the Dean down, and Perry and LaFontaine had tried to take her to their dorm, and when she refused Danny and Kirsch offered to stay with her, but Laura just shook her head, unable to say a word without sobbing. She wanted to be alone, she needed to be alone.
They had won, and she was happy her friends were ok, she was, but she still failed, she failed the most important person in her life and now she was… Fresh tears ran down her face while sobs wrecked her small body, as she buried her head into her yellow pillow that smelled like Carmilla. God, she was dead, Carmilla was dead and she never… She never knew how much she was important to her, she died thinking Laura hated her.
Laura cursed herself for not being brave enough to utter those three little words at her goodbye video. A hopeful part of her thought that if she had just said those words, maybe Carmilla would have seen it, and at least she would have died knowing how loved she was.
Determined, Laura got up from Carmilla's and brushed her tear stained cheeks and sat in front of her computer, turning it on. She knew it was too late, but it was something she needed to do. For her and Carmilla's sake. Laura bit her bottom chapped lip, her red eyes filling with tears once more. She took a deep breath and:
Carm… Carmilla. I… I didn't have the courage to say these words before, but… I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. And… And I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for the way I treated you. I never gave you a chance to explain. Carm… I understand now…. This pain, this hole in my heart… I understand now, and I think I would have done the same… because losing you is so unbearable… I feel like I'm going to die, I feel I can't breathe because you aren't here. And I would give anything to have you here by my side, holding me, calling me all kind of pastry name. I always loved "cupcake" the best. I used to complain about your sarcasm and how broody you were, but I secretly loved it and thought you were adorable for that. I wish I could have kissed you at least once… you stupid vampire… I love you so much, and I need you. I don't know how to go on without you…