A/N: I am dissapointed. Severely so. I just played Mass Effect, and, while I have yet to beat it, I got curious and took a peek at the ending. And this is what I said. What. The. HELL! All of the endings suck! Except maybe the synthesis ending. Even then...WTF! It was a great game, right up until the end! And then, oh, then, so dissapointing! They had better make an EPIC DLC or another Mass Effect ASAP because that was not fair to we, the fans, who have worked and played so hard on the series for six years in a row. I am dissapointed in your, Bioware. YOU FAIL! There was one bright spot, however. A certain psychotic biotic amused the hell out of me.

This is a story of that bright spot.

Anyone touches my kid...and I will tear them apart.

~Jack.

Motherhood

There is a saying in this universe:

Never screw with a mother bear and her cubs.

The same saying could be applied to this situation as a one woman army laid waste to the village of Konoha. That's right. One woman, alone and unguided was singlehandedly laying waste to the one of the strongest hidden villages to ever exist. And she was doing a damned good job of it.

She was terrifying and terrible to behold. She was beautiful. Her hair, once bound back into a braid over her forehead, now lay long and loose around her shoulders, flying out as if by an unseen wind. Tattoos adjourned most of her visible flesh, leaving little to the imagination. It was hard to see where the ink disappeared and the woman began, but one thing remained painfully clear as she stormed through the streets.

She was pissed.

"Shepard," She murmurred beneath her breath, her hands working into glowing fists. "I swear, I'm going to find you...and when I do...I am going to fucking kill you!" And she would kill him, she swore to herself. She'd drag him back from the grave, revive him, and kill him herself! She hadn't wanted this! She hadn't wanted to wake up in an era not her own, only to find that she'd given birth not minutes before reawakening. She was dizzy, terribly so, but she was coherent now. She was sane.

And she was fucking pissed off!

The night before the last battle against the massive metallic entities known only as the reapers, she'd realized something. She'd been pregnant. That jackass of a commander had done the unthinkable, the impossible. He'd gone and knocked her up! Furiously, she'd confronted him. Shepard's response hadn't been entirely predictable. He'd seemed happy enough, but then, just as she thought everything was alright, that everything was fine, that they'd somehow find a way out of this, he'd gone from knocking her up to knocking her out. That's right. It stung to think that he'd cared enough to do that, but it was what he'd done.

Now, centuries later, she finds herself on a strange planet; complete with strange people, in a strange place, and realizes that her kid was about to be used for some diabolic ritual that involved the sealing of some sort of creature into his stomach. At least, that was what she'd been able to understand while under the damned anestheisa. They'd made the mistake of assuming she wouldn't fight back. They'd made the mistake of assuming she'd be too intoxicated; that she'd only be able to writhe in agony as her body gave birth; as Shepard's child was taken from her.

They'd been wrong.

Screw around with someone enough, and you turn them into an all powerful bitch. Screw around with someone's kid, and you were practically asking for your head on a silver platter. Cerberus had done that to her once, and she'd be damned if she let these people wake her up out of stasis, wrest her child from her arms and take her life. Of course she'd rebelled. She'd lashed out; tearing the medics them limb from limb wih raw biotic fury. She'd lain there for some time, recovering her strength, waiting for the rest of her numbed body to respond.

She swore, swore she was hopping the first ship she found and jumping the next Mass Relay to the planet Earth. As soon as she found the kid she'd supposedly popped out. It was funny, considering she had no idea what he looked like. She hadn't even been able to hold him in her arms before they'd taken him away from her. It made her her want to shoot someone. It made her angry.

She turned, turned as she rounded a corner and found herself face to face with the strangest fucking thing she'd ever seen. She gawped up at it, unable to believer her eyes, nor her ears. She was staring at a giant toad, and it was doing battle with a giant fucking fox. A fox! She snorted, blowing a strand of hair away from her eyes. It was during times such as these she regretted growing her hair back.

She didn't care about that now. All she cared about was getting And then she saw him. The giant toad and fearsome fox had all but disappeared, leaving nothing but silence in their wake. Then she heard the crying. Then she saw him. There, wrapped in the blankets, laid out across some ceremonial altar, with the dead bodies of a man and a woman laying near him. It was a boy. Her boy. She didn't know how to explain it, but somehow, she just knew. From the moment she laid eyes on him, she knew.

That was her baby.

And he was surrounded.

"Get your fucking hands off of," She spoke, the words emerging as little more than a feral hiss, "My son!" Before anyone could protest, before anyone could speak, before any one could do anything, she struck. Men and women, civilians and shinobi alike, they flew. Literally. Their feet left the earth as a bluish white blast pushed them from their feet and launched them skyward, spattering them across the buildings and ground them into a series of gory smears.

Apparently, centuries in stasis had done precious little to curb the woman's ferocious temper. She reached for him, scooping the infant off the altar and into her arms. Hushing its soft cries she held the infant against her bosom, ignoring the tears in her jacket as she held him close. Ignoring her tears as they streamed down her face and obliterated a century of frozen makeup from her face.

"Wait!" An elderly man wearing outdated armor, cried. "Who are you?" She stole a glance at her shoulder, amused to find that someone of them had survived her biotic blasts after all. One of them, the old geezer wearing black armor, had been the one speak to her.

"The name's Jack." She replied half-heartedly.

"You cannot take him from us!" This from another old man, who looked to be predominately wrapped in bandages. Jack paused, waiting. Waited. Then she reached across the courtyard with a biotic field and pulped the man's head like an overipe tomato. Someone screamed. Jack repeated the motion, and an elderly woman fell to the ground. Bodies twisted and writhed as they spoke up, one after the other.

Soon, there were precious few left, save the old man and those wise enough to keep their mouths shut in the wake of her violent attack. Surprisingly, her son-Shepard's kid-had stopped crying during the attack. Now, he stared up at his mother with wide, disbelieving eyes, and a toothless smile on his little face. Jack couldn't help but to smile as well, tucking the infant closer to her chest. This was her kid. Hers. If anyone laid so much as a fucking finger on him...she'd tear them apart. It was a sweet, tender, precious moment.

And then the old geezer had to go and ruin it by speaking up.

"What do you plan to do with him?" The old man asked, staring meaningfully at the infant in her arms. "What do you plan to do with Naruto?"

What kind of shitty ass name is that?

"Screw you." Jack scoffed, glaring bloody red daggers at the Sandaime. "He's my kid and I'll do whatever I fucking please with him."

And thus the legend of the psychotic biotic began anew.

A/N: Yeah, just played Mass Effect 3. Jack. Was. AWESOME! Very protective of her kids. Extremely protective, and vindictive as hell! I almost feel sorry for her enemies. Almost, but not quite. That was how this fic was born. Imagine Uzumaki Naruto, with possibly THE most powerful human biotic in all the world...as his mother. I shudder at the very thought of it...and so shall Konoha. Also, yeah. It's kinda implied that Naruto is actually the son of Shepard and Jack, not Minato and Kushina. Not quite sure where this is going to go, if anywhere at all, but yeah, I had to post this for the sake of my sanity. I plan to update the rest of my fics after this one, so be sure to review this one, and stay tuned for updates! And yes...

...I JUST MURDERED DANZO! MWAHAHAHA! And the Mass Effect Choice Engine will be included in this story as well, so be sure to vote on that and all of the potential decisions Naruto can make in the near future! There will be many and they will be quite diverse!

R&R! =D