It's 1:30 AM, and instead of studying for my lab midterm I'm writing this thing. This is my first Friends fanfic, and my first fanfic in English ever, which as you can see is not my first language so please, at least, be respectful, and of course, critical, I appreciate anything and everything. I don't know how original this idea is, but I wanted to share it with you anyway. This is a M/C story if you didn't know already.

The only think you need to know: this takes place at season 9 after TOW the fertility test and season 2 right after Ross and Rachel got together.

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters but I wouldn't mind an orgy.

Is this the real life? (is this just fantasy?)

He woke up to a long forgotten, yet familiar coldness.

His hand reached the other side of the bed as he stretched, patting the empty spot a couple times, till he realized he had woken up alone. When he finally got up, he had to rub his eyes to confirm the scene before him wasn't a dream. He was at his room, his old room at Joey's. But, why was he here?

He didn't remember him and Monica having a fight, in which case he would've woken up on their couch, right across the hall. And wasn't this Rachel's room anyway? because it ceirtanly didn't look like a woman's room, come to think of it, it looked exactly like his old room -he scanned it once more just to be sure, from the window to the door, from the ceiling to the floor, as he went to open the drapes- yeah, definitely his bachelor room.

He stood there for what seemed like hours, feeling dizzy, trying to remember how he got there. - - How do you explain things like this? - He thought, too overwhelmed to even feel scared. Maybe he was still dreaming.

Or worse, maybe the last five or so years of his life had been a dream.

He did remember yesterday though, vividly, it had been one of his worst days ever, the day he found out he couldn't give her wife a baby. And then... no, it couldn't be it, could it?

His thought were interrupted by a familiar voice calling him from outside the room, he rushed into the kitchen, hoping all his questions would be answered soon.

-Hey! - He greeted. - I made pancakes for you and... - he motioned at his bedroom door; as usual he couldn't remember the name of the girl he spent his night with - my date - he finally said.

Thanks Joe- He took his place at the counter and stared blankly at the pancakes.

There was something about all this, something so nostalgic about this day, which suddenly made him miss his single life, just for a second. But then he remembered how miserable he used to be back then, and how many times he'd ended up heartbroken, that pain wasn't worth the freedom.

Then it hit him. What if, in fact, the happiest years of his life had all been a dream? How would he cope with that?

Joe - he whispered - wh- what day is today?

Saturday - He answered simply, taking another bite of his pancake, oblivious to Chandler's worries.

So it was Saturday after all, which was a good sign, because he remembered yesterday being Friday. Maybe it was all in his mind, maybe he did have a fight with Mon, maybe he got drunk and ended up there, that would explain the not remembering.

I know it's Saturday, I mean...- he realized the question he was about to make would make him look like he was crazy - Never mind, I'll just pick up the newspaper.

And so he made his way to the door, walking one step at a time, until finally reaching the doorknob, turning it to the right in slow motion, as if he was about to discover the meaning of life. And as he bent over, he heard how the door in front of him opened slowly, he could see her in the corner of his eye, now he needed a better view.

And there she was

Short messy hair, sleepy eyes, greeting him with a small smile.-Morning- and as soon as she said it, the moment was over. She went back in with nothing else left to say.

And he knew it, just by looking at her he knew it, there was no need for confirmation, but he did it anyway, he looked down to his hands, his eyes went straight to the little number on the corner of the paper.

1996.

And there was only him to blame, this is what he had wished for after all.

They broke apart from the hug and looked into each other's eyes, he held her shoulders, reassuring.

-We'll get through this-

-What if we don't, Chandler? I know what I said but... I can't help feeling like this, I can't help having doubts- he voice shaking, her eyes filling up with tears again.

-I know-

He felt guilty; he knew it was half his fault. To be honest, it was nobody's fault, but somehow the situation made his old insecurities resurface and blame it all on himself.

He felt so helpless; he didn't want to be the cause of her misery. He'd taken their future for granted but now he didn't know anymore.

"if only" he thought "If only I knew about this back then, I wouldn't have let you marry me".

As much as it hurt him to even think of not being with her, it was true, she deserved better than him, she deserved a man who could give her what she always wanted, a baby. Now it was too late for that, the way he saw it, she was stuck with him; but one thing was for sure, if he had a chance to go back in time, he would chose her happiness over his, every time , even if that meant hey could not be together. That night he went to bed with that single thought on his head.

To be continued…

So, I'm all ears, tell me what you think about it, I'm planning on making him suffer a lot *insert plan laugh here* no, but seriously, what did you think.

Now excuse me while I go back to my boring Brinell and Vickers and Rockwell Hardness shit.