I'm alive!

Hello! I know very well I have a lot of stories I should continue but at the moment I don't have any inspiration to write them - actually I haven't had any inspiration to write anything lately. This idea has been sitting in the back of my head for some time already and I decided to write it now before I'm too busy and uninspired to do that, too.

So yes. A John/Dave fiction. The rating will go upper in the later chapters, but this won't be a long story anyway. This story contains some triggering themes (eating disorders, personality disorders, self harm etc) so if you are triggered by those, please do not read! For your own mental health, darling. I myself have fought with these problems but I ended my therapy a couple of weeks ago and I'm recovering so this story will contain those hard feelings I got, and still get, in recovery.

Anyways, here comes!

Please be here tomorrow

1.
There was a knot in John's throat when he walked through white corridors with abstract paintings on the walls. His bag was heavy and his head was hurting, and the smell of disinfectant in the air didn't help at all. John just wanted a place to sleep for the next three weeks.
"And here's your room. I guess you want to set down and unpack your things in peace. The dinner will be in half an hour, come to the dining room then. Do you remember where the dining room is?" a tall man with smiling eyes and blue sweater asked. John nodded and stepped inside his new room.

The room had white walls and grey-like floor. The room itself wasn't big, there were two drawers for his things, a little table with a chair and a bed. There was also a little window but the scenery wasn't that interesting: a parking lot what John couldn't even see properly from the sixth floor. The black-haired boy sighed, pushed his glasses up on his nose and threw his bag on the bed. Someone walked on the corridor behind the door and John also heard silent talking.

After a good five - or ten John wasn't sure because there was no clock - minutes of just standing in the middle of the tiny room John opened his bag and started putting his clothes in the drawers. From the bottom of his bag he picked up his phone and unlocked the keys. The nurse had said that usually new patients weren't allowed to keep their phones but because John's situation wasn't that bad he could have kept his own. John laid down on the bed and logged in Pesterchum, a message application.

-.- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 16:24 -.-

TT: Hey, John. How are you?
EB: tired i guess. this place is way too hospital-like.
TT: Well, it IS a hospital after all. You'll do good, and we can talk from time to time! And I'm sure you can get out soon.
EB: yeah, i hope so too. i was walked around here and this place is huge, i will get lost so many times.
TT: Really? Sounds interesting.
EB: it's far from interesting.
TT: Right, sorry. I will visit you as soon as they let you to get visitors, just inform me then.
EB: sure thing, thank you rose. but i guess i have to go now, it's dinner time.
TT: See you later, John! Take care.
-.- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 16:31 -.-

John logged out of the app, put his phone back in his bag and left his room. If he remembered right, the dining room was just behind the corner when he left to right from his door. He did so and found a glass door that said "DINING ROOM" in bright red letters. John pushed the door open and was smiled at by two women.
"You must be John, am I right?" taller woman asked. She had long, red hair and bright eyes. John nodded and forced a little smile on his lips.
"Welcome! Here, take some food and sit down with the others", the woman continued and gave John a plate. After filling the plate with some food John sat down in a long table. There were a group of girls on the other end of the table and a light-haired boy closer to him. The boy was playing with his fork between his fingers while a young woman, probably a nurse, was talking to him in a low voice. After a while the nurse saw John and gestured to him to come closer. After some hesitation John took his food and sat next to the woman.
"Well hello, you are John right?" John nodded and the nurse smiled. "My name is Joanne, and I thought it would be nicer for you to eat with us than alone", Joanne said and John nodded with a little smile. Then he slowly moved his eyes to the boy on the opposite side of the table.

The boy with light, almost white hair was wearing a large sweater and a pair of dark shades on his eyes. There was a little smile on his lips and he nodded to John.
"Yo. I'm Dave."
"John", John squeaked and laid his eyes down. This boy's, Dave's, voice was low and it tickled somewhere on the back of John's throat. He had warm but a little vulnerable smile and John wanted to see his eyes but he couldn't because of the shades. He also wanted to hear more of Dave's voice, for some reason it gave him chills.

"This place isn't that bad." John looked his new acquaintance with some doubt. "I mean, of course it is at first. But when you get used to it, learn the routines and shit... it's alright", Dave said and let out a little laugh when he saw John's face.
"I don't believe you, I'm not feeling very positive about this place", the black-haired boy said and changed his position in a chair he was sitting on. They were in the common room, which was kinda silent at that time. Most patients had their therapies or other stuff after dinner, so Dave decided to keep John some company.
"It's not the best place but at least things won't get worse so quickly", Dave said and John nodded in silent. "Talking of which... why are you here?"

John glanced Dave and had a battle inside his head – he just met this guy. Could he be trusted? Well, they were in the same situation but it was hard for John to even talk to a doctor.
"Well I um... had this happening when I was a kid and stuff. I'm diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder but I have been doing pretty well lately. It's just that when my other personality comes around I can't control myself and... yeah. When that happens I'm mostly dangerous to other people, not to myself", John said and sighed. People usually got scared when he told them he had two personalities, but maybe it was safe to tell Dave? They were in psychiatric hospital after all.
"That must be exhausting", Dave said and John nodded with a sad smile.
"I'm used to it tho. Well, how about you?" With this simple question John saw how Dave got extremely uncomfortable. He turned his head away from John and got his legs against his chest, wrapping his arms around them.

"I'm um... depressed you know. I used to cut but I can't do it here that often. I also um, you know like, have um, eating disorder. Like anorexia you probably know", Dave almost whispered and John felt so bad for him. The blonde boy was wearing way too big clothes so John hadn't realized his size but Dave was small and skinny – his fingers were long and they looked fragile.
"I'm sorry", John said and smiled to Dave. The other boy smiled back and shrugged his shoulders.

-.-.-.

When John went to bed at 10pm, he could feel it coming. He was tired and too weak to keep it away. He tried his best to fall asleep quickly but of course it didn't help. Slowly he got up and opened his room's door. The corridor was empty and there were no lights on – it was officially night time already. Because John's "situation wasn't that bad" according to the doctor, his door could be opened from the inside of the room even during nights. A little smile made its way on John's lips when he knocked on the door of room number 6. After a while the door was cracked and John was able to see a half of Dave's shade-covered face. When Dave saw John he smiled and let the other boy inside his room, closing the door behind him. According to Dave his door was locked for the night but because of his past with some "lame crimes" he was able to pick the lock open.

"You couldn't sleep?" Dave asked and opened the curtains that were over the window. A small light came from outside so they were able to see in the dark room without putting lights on and waking the night shift nurse's attention – they were supposed to sleep anyway.
"Yeah, kinda", John said and walked next to Dave, pushing the taller but smaller boy against a wall easily.
"J-John? What the fuck", Dave whispered when John took his wrists and stared him in the eyes through the shades.
"Well you're easy to convince that John was here", the black-haired boy said and chuckled.
"Wait, what? John, fuck, let go of me", Dave said and tried to get himself off, but John's fingers just wrapped harder around Dave's wrists.
"I won't, I have to hurt you. John trusted you way too easily, he is so weak. Too weak. He likes you and I don't." Dave's heart was pounding fast when he realized that it wasn't John who he was dealing with.
"Listen, you psycho. Leave John alone and go the fuck away, I'm sure he would like to sleep after a long day. And so would I, so please just disappear", Dave tried, but John just raised his eyebrows and laughed silently. Slowly the shorter boy trailed his fingers down Dave's right arm and the blonde boy was too scared to move. His sleeves weren't covering his scarred arms and those purple and white scars were fascinating to John's other personality. Without a word John let go of Dave's wrists, took his hand and carefully touched the scars on his arm. After a silent minute John blinked his eyes many times and let go of Dave's arm almost in panic.
"What the fuck why am I here, Dave... Oh my god are you okay did he hurt you?" John's eyes were big when he tried to look for any fresh wounds on Dave's skin.
"No, John calm down, I'm fine. Just fucking scared."
"I'm sorry, so so so sorry, Dave I'm sorry, I'm gonna go now and..."
"I will take you to the nurse, okay?" And without letting John say anything, Dave took John's hand and soon John was back in his room, his door locked from the outside and a tranquilizer doing its job on John's body.

~.~.~.

-.- ectoBiologist [EB] started perstering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 07:54-.-

EB: hi rose. i got a friend yesterday, or so i think? his name's dave and he seems to be a nice guy.
EB: also yesterday when i went to sleep He came out and tried to hurt dave.
EB: i'm so embarrassed!
EB: dave's fine tho, for some reason He didn't do anything but i'm glad.
EB: it's breakfast time soon so i have to go and i guess you haven't even got up yet.
EB: but see you later!

-.- ectoBiologst [EB] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 07:57-.-