Disclaimer: Othello belongs to Mr. Shakespeare and Freud belongs to himself.

Accent Disclaimer: Okay, the "German" accent that was used in this project is in no way meant to be offensive. It is meant to be over-dramatic in order to emphasize the setting/comedy of this script.

Translation key: 'th' and some 's' sounds replaced with 'z' sounds. 'W' sounds replaced with 'v' sounds.

A/N: Hello, Widow Shark here. Perhaps you're only reading this because you've read RPM, or perhaps you just discovered this story by mistake. However, this story is not entirely my own; it was co-written with CrazySenji. This also happens to be a past English project in which we were paired up to work on this. So, on behalf of Senji and myself, please be the gems you all are; read and review. Tootles!

Othello Act V, scene i. a (a.k.a. Othello Meets Freud)

Note Quoted parts will be in Italics.

Act IV, scene iii.

(Enter Othello, Lodovico, Desdemona, and Emilia.)

Lod: I do beseech you, sir, trouble yourself no further.

Oth: O, pardon me; 't will do me good to walk.

Lod: Madam, good night; I humbly thank your ladyship.

Des: Your honour is most welcome.

Oth: Will you walk, sir?

O-Desdemona-

Des: My lord?

Oth: Get you to bed on the instant; I will be returned forthwith: dismiss your

attendant there: look it be done. I'll be quick, an errand I have to run.

(Exeunt)

Act V scene i a. A street in Cyprus.

(Enter Othello, Iago, and Roderigo.)

(Iago and Roderigo are standing off to the side plotting; they see a dark figure running through the streets trying to hail a carriage.)

Iago: 'T is Othello.

Rod: Where doth the man go at this witching hour?

Iago: (Whispering to himself) To do beastly things, I suspect.

-'Tis not of importance, Roderigo.

(Iago and Roderigo watch as Othello finally gets on a carriage, then they exit.)

Oth: (To driver) Take me to Vienna, Austria. And step on it! (Othello gets out of the carriage at a little cottage in Vienna. There is a sign hanging from the door that says, "The Doctor Is In." Othello enters; he sees and old man (Enter Freud), with a beard sitting down at a large, carved, wooden desk.)

Freud: Come, Ozello. Sit down on zee couch. Now tell me, vhat is vrong today? (Othello sits).

Oth: (In a whiny voice) Oh Doc! I know we've been through this before, but I'm so confused! My honest friend, Iago, is telling me terrible things about my wife.

Freud: Like vhat, Mr. Ozello?

Oth: All sorts of villainous things. He told me that she was sleeping with Cassio and that she gave my mother's strawberry handkerchief to him. I'm so angry I could, I could, I could just CHOKE someone!

Freud: Calm yourself, Mr. Ozello. I zink I know vhat's vrong vith you.

Oth: You do? Wonderful! Can you correct this most troubling problem now? How long will it take? Will it hurt?

Freud: Now, now, Mr. Ozello, it is not as easy as you seem to zink it is. Zee mind is a complicated zing and it vill take some time to correct your problem. I vill have to perform…

(Othello Interrupts)

Oth: Just how long of a process are you speaking of, Doc?

Freud: As long as it takes for me to figure out zee root of your problem. Now, vhy don't you calmly tell me vhy you are so angry.

Oth: Have it your way old man!

Freud: Oh, and try to remember your manners, Mr. Ozello.

(Othello grumbles, rolls his eyes, and continues.)

Oth: Okay, okay, here it goes. First of all Iago, being the excellent friend that he is, came to me and told me that he had heard a rumor about my wife. The rumor was that Desdemona, my dear wife, hath been sleeping around with that worm, Cassio.

Freud: Vait a minute, did you or Iago actually see Desdemona perform zis act, Mr. Ozello?

Oth: (Angrily) What kind of sick person do you think I am, Doc!

Freud: No, no, Mr. Ozello, I did not mean it zat vay. Vhat I am trying to say is: do zee two of you have any proof zat zis act really took place, or is it just a rumor?

Oth: Well, I do not have any ocular proof that this has occurred, but I believe my honest friend Iago; he has never steered me wrong before and I would trust him with my life. Iago himself told me that he loved me and would never do me wrong. I did ask him to give me ocular proof that this most dreadful occurrence took place. He asked me if I really wanted to see my wife topped and I of course didn't. Who in their right mind would, Doc?

Freud: No sane man zat I know of, Mr. Ozello. Mr. Iago zounds like a very convincing person. Zee kind of person who can get you to do vhateverhe vants you to do?

Oth: (Shrugs) I suppose so…

Freud: I know so, Mr. Ozello. It zounds, to me, like Mr. Iago has used rhetoric to get you to do vhathe vants you to do.

Oth: What in the world is this rhetoric that you speak of? Iago used no such witchcraft or magic on me!

Freud: No, no, Mr. Ozello! Rhetoric is just a fancy name for persvuasive speech. In ozzer vords, Mr. Iago vas getting you to do vhat HE vanted you to do.

Oth: Why didn't you just say so? Why do you try to confuse me with your words? Are you trying to mock me? Do you take me for a fool?

Freud: It does not take much to get you angry, does it, Mr. Ozello? Vun little zing makes you crack. Ve vill have to vork on zat zmall detail at a later date; ve have more pressing zings to vork on now.

Oth: Whatever you say, Doc. Continue; I will try to keep my temper in check.

Freud: Zat is all I ask, Mr. Ozello. Now back to Mr. Iago. I zink he is functioning as your zuper-ego.

Oth: My what?

Freud: Your zuper-ego. You see, zere are three personality traits: zee id, zee ego, and zee zuper-ego.

Oth: Sounds complicated, Doc…

Freud: Not really, Mr. Ozello. Please, let me explain.

Oth: Alright, Doc, I'll listen, but I can't promise I'll comprehend what you're saying.

Freud: I'll try my best to explain it to you, Sir. Like I said before, zere are three personality traits: zee id, zee ego, and zee zuper-ego. Every person is born vith zee id; vhich is your bazic instincts. Zee id vants to alvays feel good, zo vehn zee child is hungry, its id makes it cry until it gets vhat it desires.

Oth: So, you're saying we all have this basic instinct?

Freud: Precizely. Zee next part of zese personality traits is zee ego. Zee ego maintains a balance between our impulses, or id, and our conscience, or zuper-ego.

Oth: So, the ego stops us from being too selfish?

Freud: Very good, Mr. Ozello! I zink you are getting zis.

Oth: Yes, I believe so, Doc. Continue please.

Freud: Very vell. Zee last part of zee personality traits is zee zuper-ego. Zee zuper-ego is our highest moral impulse or conscience.

Oth: The super-ego tells us what is right and what is wrong?

Freud: Exactly!

Oth: So, when you were saying that Iago is functioning as my super-ego he was telling me what to do?

Freud: Zat is correct, Mr. Ozello. Mr. Iago was playing zee part of your conscience and probably trying to get you to kill Ms. Desdemona.

Oth: (Enraged) VHAT! VHY…Ahem…WHAT! WHY THAT SLIMY LITTLE…

Freud: Now, now, Mr. Ozello. Try and control your temper. Zere is no need to get zis angry. Now, Please zit down and ve can talk…

Oth: (Shouting) No more talking, Dr. Freud. It's time to take action. Iago will pay for what he has done. To think, he was trying to get me to kill my darling warrior, Desdemona and poor Cassio. The nerve of that man; I'll make sure that he never lies to me or anyone else ever again!

(With that said, Othello stormed out of Doctor Freud's office to go take care of "Honest" Iago.)

Freud: (Sits back down at his desk, sighs, then smiles very broadly to himself.) Vell, at least I vas able to convince him not to kill his innozent vife and Mr. Cassio and teach him zum of my brilliant psychology. Now to get back to vork on my zeory of zee Oedipal Complex…

END.

A/N 2: Okay, just a little note to say that the formatting might be a little off. If there are any questions leave your e-mail address in a review and I'll try to get back to you. Okay, tootles again.