I don't own HIMYM and never will. No copyright infringement intended.
Author's Note: I can't get over the weirdness of that flashforward to Argentina. From Barney and Robin's conversation to their actions, something was off. Haven't decided yet whether that was a big clue or they were just fucking with us. And as much as I would love and be fine with it if they don't have kids, haven't ruled out a surprise pregnancy yet. Hope you enjoy!
Firmly ensconced back in their own room, Barney and Robin couldn't help but laugh. "What did we get up to last night?" she asked her husband.
He shrugged. "I don't remember much of it. God, why did I get that drunk again? I'm sure we had fun, but it's always a bad idea."
"I can't believe we ended up in the wrong room and didn't question the baby." Robin yawned and wondered if she should change into something more comfortable.
"We're moving on autopilot now," Barney pointed. With a ten month old in the house, they were used to being woken up –repeatedly – and constantly interrupted. Neither minded all that much, even though this vacation was a chance to have some time to themselves.
Robin was glad her husband had suggested this trip, although both of them missed their daughter so much it ached. That was one of the main reasons they had gone out and gotten so drunk last night. "This is true. Do you think we can call Marshall and Lily and see how she's doing? I know we're going home tomorrow, but I need to see her face. A picture isn't going to cut it."
"Right there with you." Barney never imagined he'd love someone as much as he loved his wife and daughter. They were his whole world, as cheesy and Ted-like as that sounded (only Robin heard those words come out of his mouth), and he was glad to have them (and the others) in his life.
The pregnancy had been startling to them both. When Robin spent a week in the bathroom, they figured she had come down with the flu or some other illness. None of them had ever once considered pregnancy (although Lily and Ted's wife suspected it, something they didn't tell Barney and Robin until after they revealed the news) until her doctor broke it to them. They sat there in silence for about five minutes before Robin asked how it was possible. And the doctor explained it quite simply – Lily's doctor was incompetent and ran tests she shouldn't have then didn't schedule any follow-ups. Her chances of conceiving were slim, but not impossible. And that was that. Thrown into something neither had been prepared for, Barney and Robin leaned on their friends for support, which they got wholeheartedly. And as the sun rose over New York in early 2015, the couple welcomed their first and only child, Lorelei Rebecca Scherbatsky-Stinson. The couple had a hard time adjusting to parenthood and still made mistakes (like every parent does) but they loved their little surprise.
"Then it's decided – I'm calling her. It's nine in the morning here so she'll be up. Especially since Lorelei doesn't sleep through the night all the time." Robin was glad there was only a two hour time difference – it made their lives so much easier.
"On the phone or are we doing this on the computer?" Barney wanted to see their daughter and not just talk to her.
"Computer, Barney. I need to see her little face." After they both showered (and yes, it took them a while to get "clean") and dressed, they set up the laptop to Skype with Lily.
It took Lily a few minutes to respond, but when she did, Lorelei was in her lap. "Hi! How are you two enjoying your baby-free vacation?"
"Hi, Lily. Hi, Miss Lorelei!" Barney's heart warmed at the sight of the baby. As much he and Robin were enjoying their trip, they definitely needed to be home. Why did they think this trip was a good idea? They were bringing Lorelei with them next time, no matter how much they claimed to need a small break. A week was way too long to be away from her.
The baby stared at the screen in confusion for a minute or so before her eyes lit up in happiness at seeing her parents. She babbled something (that Barney sounded claimed sounded like 'Dada", but Robin was suspicious) to them and started bouncing up and down in her aunt's lap. They all laughed. "How's she been doing?"
"Well, she misses you for sure. Marshall and I have decided that we definitely do not want a second kid. One is enough for us, even though we don't mind taking care of this little one." Lily had to refrain herself from saying spawn because Lorelei was exactly like Barney and Robin. It freaked her out a little.
"Aw, glad our daughter convinced you of that. Anything else to add?" Robin couldn't keep her eyes off the ten month old currently starring at them.
Lily covered the baby's ears, and Lorelei stared at her with a look of confusion and anger. It was actually pretty cute. "I thought you were kidding, but you were right. This kid knows when you're going to have sex and starts crying every time. Every time, Robin!"
"We told you!" Barney pointed out, laughing. Every time they wanted to have sex or do something important, Lorelei interrupted them by demanding their attention. Both of them were now convinced she was doing it on purpose, but didn't mind. Ted and his wife seemed to be having a somewhat similar problem with Penny so at least they weren't the only ones this was happening to. It was nice to have their friends in situations that mirrored their own.
Robin snorted. "She is good at that. Do you think she'll be mad at us for leaving when we get home?"
"Robin, she's not our dog," an amused Barney pointed out. Luckily for them, the puppy was protective of Lorelei, something they both worried about before her birth. And Lorelei loved him so it worked out on both ends.
"I know that! But maybe she'll have the same reaction that the dog does! You don't know."
Lily stared at her for a few seconds before responding. "You two have been gone for hours at a time at work. She was happy to see you when she wasn't fussy, right? It'll be the same here."
Both Barney and Robin hoped their friend was right. They say goodbye to them both (with minimal tears from Robin this time, which Barney considered an improvement from the day before) and then went about their business. "You want to go explore Argentina some more?" he questioned as he lay down on the bed.
Robin sighed and snuggled up next to him. "Nah, we've already done enough exploring for the time being, and my head is killing me."
"So's mine." He kissed the side of her head and stared up at the ceiling. This trip had been great, and they had done a lot of touristy shit. Maybe they'd go somewhere else next time, which would be fine with him.
She sneaked her foot over to hers and intertwined them. "Our life's pretty legendary, you know that? Great, if not mirror image of us, daughter, pretty good dogs, friends and family that love us and a nice trip we spent a lot of money on. It's the best."
"That it is. After Shannon, I never imagined myself with a wife and kid but I am unbelievably glad it happened for me. Falling in love with you was the best idea I ever had." He and Robin would have been perfectly fine without kids, but they never once regretted having Lorelei (not even when she kept interrupting them or annoyed Robin with the constant morning sickness in the first trimester).
"Damn it, Barney. Why do you have to be so sappy sometimes?" She sniffled and wiped the tears off her face.
"Hey, I didn't mean to make you cry. Anyway, want to have sex?"
Robin laughed and playfully punched him in the shoulder. "Well you know I won't turn down that offer." And so they celebrated their last full day in Argentina (with hangovers that kept coming back with a vengeance).
The next day, Barney and Robin finally flew home. The first thing they did upon seeing Lily, Marshall, and Lorelei was hug them. Then Barney picked up their daughter, something that caused her to start babbling again. "She was pretty excited when we told her you were coming back, although I'm sure she didn't understand," Lily informed Robin as Marshall and Barney started talking about something random.
"Well, she looks happy at least." The ache that had been in Robin's chest since they boarded the plane to Argentina a few days earlier disappeared. She figured Barney felt the same way (and was correct in that assumption).
After stopping by to see Ted and his wife for a few minutes, the Scherbatsky-Stinson family finally headed home. They'd be picking the dog up from the kennel in the morning since it was late and neither felt like going now, no matter how much they wanted to see their pet.
Barney and Robin sat their daughter down in her beloved swing and then watched as it rocked her to sleep. "We lucked out with her." And like Marshall and Lily, they were done having kids. One was definitely enough for them.
"Yeah, we did." Barney playfully swatted her as he got up to get something in the fridge and then returned to his wife's side.
The next morning, they were about to have welcome home sex (what? They had to) when crying came through the baby monitor. Both Robin and Barney laughed. "Of course. You want me to get her?" she questioned.
Barney shook his head. "Nah, I got her. You go do whatever you need to do." He slid out of the bed and headed towards the nursery. Lorelei was standing in her crib and holding her arms out for her father. "Oh, what's the problem?" He could already tell her it was her impatient cry – she didn't like being in the crib for very long. As soon as he picked the baby up, she quieted down immediately. He took her into the kitchen to get a bottle and proceeded to feed her.
This was Barney and Robin's life now, and they loved it. They had just gone on a wonderful vacation (with more planned for the immediate future, even if they had no idea where to go yet) and had a pretty awesome home life too. And work was going well for both of them. They couldn't ask for more happiness.