Hey, Puddin's. Long time no see right? Well, do not despair! I come with a change in fandom today. Welcome to my first Merlin story. Ironically, this is also my first m/m story. I hope you enjoy!
Shoutout to Here-be-Nerds on Tumblr, who beta read this for me as my older sister is not in Merlin fandom yet. Their link is www. tumblr dashboard/blog/here-be-nerds
Cover Image belongs to Grumpycakes on Tumblr and can be found at grumpycakes . tumblr post/147219013962/cmere-merlin-kinda-been-having-a-rough
Two weeks have passed since Morgana failed to take over the thrown; two weeks since the King had retreated to his room and refused to leave, mourning over the loss and betrayal of his daughter; two weeks since the prince begun acting as Regent, doing his best to run the kingdom.
Two weeks since the prince had knighted four commoners.
Smiling at the success of his friends, Merlin watched as they scurried about the armory, preparing for another day of training.
The new knights had adjusted well.
Lancelot was proud of himself, declaring that he would continue to prove himself and to protect Camelot with honor.
Percival, while originally everyone's proposing favorite due to his size, quickly proved he was more than just brute strength but was a gentle soul, a loyal companion, and a comforter as well.
Elyan had sworn to be the brother that Gwen deserved, and the knight that Arthur trusted he could be.
And Gwaine, Merlin smiled, was doing better than anyone had thought.
Merlin had been shocked, at first, when Gwaine had agreed to kneel at the Prince's feet and be knighted. If he hadn't known better, Merlin would believe that he had done it to avoid being rude.
Then, surprising the warlock further, Gwaine had stayed after the battle, training to defend Camelot and helping in the rebuilding.
He was not complaining though; he enjoyed the little amount of time they were able to spend together. Gwaine never failed to make Merlin comfortable, and Merlin found that their conversations were like breathing. He could relax and be himself, and the new knight never made him feel judged.
The raven-haired servant smiled as he watched the brunet jest with Lancelot. He trusted Gwaine, which was rare for Merlin.
He often felt wary of those closest to him. Gaius and his mother's advice were laced with fear. He feared they, at times, simply would rather him stay safe at home, while he needed to be out helping people.
Kilgharrah was known to use him to his advantage. Though the dragon was his greatest ally, he knew the creature cared more about the future and destiny than he did the warlock. He was a pawn of fate in the dragon's eyes.
Even with Arthur, the threat of being revealed clouded that relationship. He knew the young prince cared for him, but did not know for certain how he would react to learning of his friend's magic, so Merlin remained untrusting still.
But with Gwaine everything was different. The vagabond did not expect anything from Merlin but a smile, a laugh. He understood that Merlin needed to help others and did not expect him to fall back and retreat to the sidelines.
A clap to the back startled him from his thoughts. He turned towards the scent of ale. "Merlin! Just the man I wanted to talk to!"
"Aren't I always," the manservant teased.
The chuckle Gwaine gave warmed his heart. "So what is it you wanted to discuss?"
"Just simply wanting to catch up, it feels that we've not spoken in ages."
"We just spoke the other day."
"But that was just a moment, we haven't spent any quality relaxing time since our return."
"Then tonight, come visit me in Gaius' chambers."
"Well, I have missed your bed."
Merlin blushed at the cheeky joke, ears flushed. Gwaine chuckled, swung his arm around the taller man's shoulders in a one-armed hug, before parting to train.
Arthur barked for Merlin to do his chores, and Merlin's day was suddenly hectic again.
The moon had graced the sky for some time when the servant had finally finished his duties. His long legs raced back to Gaius's chambers, berating himself for being late to meet Gwaine.
When he arrived, the drunkard knight was engaged in light humor with the old man. Their plates sat empty in front of them; Merlin noticed a tray of food laid on the table and a bottle of wine was opened.
"Ah! Look who came home," the elderly physician called. Gwaine's smile at Merlin's arrival almost prompted another blush. "Well, I'll guess I'll leave the festivities to the young folk then."
Each man said goodnight, watching as Gaius pulled his sheet around his bed. The two remaining grabbed the trays, heading to Merlin's room to avoid disturbing the man's sleep.
"Sorry I'm so late Gwaine, Arthur had me running 'round the whole castle today." Merlin panted, still working to catch his breath from the sprint. His whole being was tired, and he hadn't had a proper lunch that day.
"Don't worry mate, I had nothing else planned for the night." Noticing Merlin's state, Gwaine internally snarled at the fact that Merlin would rather worry about offending him then take some time to relax. But Gwaine knew that was just how the man was. He held the world on his shoulders, even when it deserved to be thrown and shattered on the ground. Merlin was just a good person. He just needed someone to look after him. And Gwaine knew that responsibility fell to him, though it was less a responsibility and more of a pleasure.
"Here, I bought some dinner down for us, there should be plenty left, and some wine too. You look famished." Merlin's grateful smile did not go unnoticed by the knight, and he basked in the joy he brought the boy.
The lanky wizard sat at the table, preparing himself a decent plate. "Thank you, I needed something to eat. The prat had me working all day and I missed my opportunity for lunch." He looked up in time to notice the scowl gracing Gwaine's face.
"Oh no, its nothing Gwaine, I had had a nice breakfast beforehand. It's not like it happens often-"
"Merlin, you don't have to lie to me, I get it. You want to help the Princess and sometimes you forget to take care of yourself; I'm not mad at you over that."
"But then-"
"I'm upset because Arthur should notice when he's overworking you. How the fact that you work harder than anyone in this castle without any recognition or complaint is beyond me"
Merlin blinked, he wasn't sure how to respond. No one had ever pushed him to seek recognition, and he had never really wanted it. To hear a "thank you" once in awhile would have been nice, but being in the center of attention did make him nervous. The thought of someone finding out about his magic made him queasy, and he began to use a fake a smile to hide this until he remembered that this was Gwaine, and he did not have to lie to him.
"Thank you for your concern, really. It's just that, I feel I could do something good here, and I sometimes forget about myself. It's sometimes too easy to pass as fine, and Arthur is not to blame. I just don't like to be the focus, so I don't bring it on myself by complaining."
A soft smile spread on Gwaine's face, and Merlin felt it leak to his. "Alright then, I believe you. But I can't in good heart let you do this without being there to make sure you're fed and rested, so know that I am always here. If you need someone to cover for you while you sneak a meal or nap, I'm here; if you need someone to rant to about the princess, then I'm here. If you need to simply talk, I'm here."
A small tear broke through Merlin's eye, and Gwaine's surprisingly gentle hand brushed it away.
"Thank you. Honestly. You have no idea how much that means to me."
"No need for thanks, you are my closest friend. I hope you can trust me enough to come to me if you need me."
At the word "trust" Merlin stopped. He thought for a moment. There was no denying he trusted Gwaine. Gwaine, who was so willing to drop whatever he was doing to help Merlin, and who never hid the fact that he had helped Camelot for Merlin's sake more than anything. Gwaine, who had trusted him from their first meeting enough to share the true story of his past.
All at once, Merlin knew what to do. Damn the secrets, damn the fear, damn caution. It was time to trust his gut.
"Gwaine." his voice grew solemn and uncertain. Said knight snapped his head up, trying to decipher what had upset his friend. "I want to show you something".
"Anything"
"Ok, just sit back please," He did not ask Gwaine to keep calm or to not freak out, knowing that they would be promises the knight may not be able to keep.
Closing his eyes, Merlin took a deep breath, deciding quickly what he could do that was non-threatening and would amuse Gwaine. Smiling to himself, he knew what to do. Raising a hand towards the open bottle of wine, which still lay on the table, long forgotten, he focused his magic.
Gwaine was stuck watching as his eyes flashed gold. The wine rose from the bottle, using its liquid state to change shapes, turning from the form of a bounding rabbit to butterflies fluttering in the wind. Merlin played with the wine for a brief moment, before returning it to its bottle.
Silence reigned after Merlin was done. Here it was, the moment of truth.
A low chuckle disturbed the silence, then became louder and uncontrollable, until the knight was cackling with hysterics. Merlin grew anxious, had his magic reveal driven his friend to insanity?
After some time, Gwaine had settled down from his bout. Merlin stared warily, and the knight felt guilty for making him worry. "So does this mean I never have to buy ale again?"
Confusion graced the warlock's face before the meaning dawned on him. His smile reached his eyes and Gwine marveled at how beautiful he looked.
"No, no, I can make it once in awhile maybe but it would not be as good as the real thing."
"Oh well then, guess I'll just continue to wash my money away."
The two smiled at each other for a moment, just enjoying the warm feeling between them. Then Gwaine, while still trying to keep the mood natural and keep his friend relaxed, began asking the questions that suddenly screamed in his head.
"What are you doing in Camelot with magic? You have to know how unsafe you are."
"I came here at first to get away from my home village, Ealdor. They were growing suspicious, and while magic there isn't illegal, it wasn't welcomed. Then, I found out about my destiny. I'm meant to be here. I'm meant to help Arthur rise and to restore the relationship between magic and the crown. I can do it, I just have to be careful until then."
"I should have figured that it would have to do with Arthur somehow. Does anyone else know?"
"Only Gaius and Lancelot, though they found out through incidents."
"Are you sure? No one else may suspect you? No one else who may bring issues for you?" His protective nature for Merlin was beginning to show its head.
"No one else knows or suspects. The whole of the castle believes me to be nothing more than Prince Arthur's clumsy manservant."
"Does this explain all the 'lucky' accidents that happen around us?"
Merlin smiled, Gwaine seemed to be taking this well, and he had not accused him of being evil. "Yeah, I use my magic to keep everyone safe."
Gwaine stared in amazement at the warlock. He was so pure-hearted, how could anyone ever think that the magic he carried made him evil? Here Merlin was, holding a position that put him in danger of being discovered, saving the lives of people who would put him to burn without a second thought.
His whole core shook at the thought of all the punishment the boy had to endure, knowing he was able to escape, but fearing being discovered. Then his mind went to the moments where Merlin was unable to be found until after the trouble had been settled, mostly through strings of luck.
"Merlin, those times where you vanish, is that you protecting Camelot while no one knows?"
The raven-haired man nodded.
"And when Arthur realizes he can't find you, he gives you extra work to do?"
The nod was more hesitant this time, and Gwaine raged inside himself. It was pure injustice that the boy saved everyone by putting himself in danger and was punished for it. The boy faced these dangers alone, and -
"Have you been hurt without anyone knowing before?"
The boy simply hung his head, eyes wide as he could not deny it without lying.
"Show me." The manservant hesitated for a moment, before the knight softened his gaze, letting his friend know he was not angry with him, merely concerned. With shaking hands, his tunic and neckerchief were removed.
Gwaine hissed under his breath at the scars that littered his friend's body. Marks that bore stories he did not yet know lay before his eyes. His heart clenched. Merlin had endured this pain with barely anyone to share the burden with. He had suffered in silence, with no complaint.
Merlin was surprised when his friend pulled him into his arms. He accepted the embrace readily, though. "I'm so sorry, you were alone, you must have been terrified," he heard in his ear.
"It's not so bad really. I get stronger with each fight. I fight for a purpose."
With his head on Gwaine's chest, he had felt the chuckle his friend let out. "Thank you for trusting me." The conversation died there. And neither made any move to leave their position. Both satiated in the other's warmth. Merlin was glad he had let himself move from the fear, and that he had met Gwaine, who would now, no doubt, be his greatest defense and ally.
Looking down at black hair, Gwaine sent a silent prayer to anyone who would listen. He thanked them for letting him get to meet the boy who dared to change a world that hated him. He thanked Merlin for trusting him. And he vowed that he would protect Merlin, from anything. From those who would hurt him, neglect him. Merlin held the world on his shoulders, but he will cradle Merlin in his arms.
Neither was sure how long they sat before falling asleep, but when Gaius saw them together in the morning, he smiled. Seems perhaps Merlin was learning to trust himself.
SO how was it? I kept the Merwaine subtle in this one, but I'll probably make it more pronounced in future stories. I'm obsessed with these two.
'Till next time!