Title: Would you like too….

Genre: Fluff/hints at romance

Rating: everybody

Pairing: Spike/Tara

Note: For the wonderful enigmaticblues, this is for you dove; I hope it helps you smile.

The bass from the band pulsated through the bronze, and surrounded Spike like a grandmothers quilt when you're sick, engulfing him and comforting him, helping him escape from the realities he doesn't want to face. He sits on a couch in the Bronze, a half empty bottle of beer dangling from his hand as his arms are spread out, resting on the back of the couch, his head leaning back as he tries to ignore the smells of arousal coming off so many of the girls and boys on the dance floor. Trying to ignore words repeating in his head like "I don't want you.", "It killing Me.", "I can't love you."

Spike got a whiff of something that wasn't arousal, it was something familiar, cinnamon and apples, tinged with misery. He felt weight shift on the other end of the couch, and opened his eyes. There sitting on the other end of the couch was Tara, all dolled like she was on a date, but engulfed in sadness.

Spike lifted his head and looked her over, concern clear on his face. Tara was never mean to Spike, never lashed out at him and had to good sense to be afraid of him when he was angry, even with the blasted chip in his head. So it wasn't difficult to show concern for the young witch.

"Glenda?" He said her name in question, the question was clear itself. 'Are you all right?' he was asking without asking, it was just obvious in his tone, his eyes, and the way he pronounced her name.

She lifted her head, and as her hair shifted, he could smell the fresh tears and see the running mascara. As odd and inappropriate as it was for Spike to be thinking it, he couldn't help but think that Tara looked like an angel, a fallen angel. Beautiful, sad, and forever glorious.

She gave him a brief half smile, "Hi Spike."

He returned her smile, "'lo, pet. What's up with the get up?"

Her smile faded, and her hands fidgeted with the hem of her dress.

"I-I had a d-d-date tonight? And umm it just didn't go well." She replied timidly.

Spike hasn't seen Tara stutter in a long time, and that only concerned him more.

"What did the cow do? Want me to rob her? Go all grrr and make her wet herself." Spike brought his hands up and made funny and animate imitations of an animal attacking someone as he said grr.

This caused a slight laugh to erupt suddenly from Tara, causing Spike's face to go mock serious.

"Hey no laughing, that was terrifying!" he said indignity, his face stern, but soon melted into a smile.

They both looked down and fell into a comfortable silence. It was easy for two quiet souls to be quiet around each other. Spike always kept a bit of William with him; in a way he never left, so it was easy to just be quiet when around someone who understands that nature.

"It wasn't a girl." Tara said softly, not looking up to meet Spike now startled gaze.

"A bloke?" Spike asked, generally confused.

Tara nodded, "I d-d-do have some secrets, e-even from Willow."

Spike was certainly stunned; he never thought that Tara played both fields. She was always so adamant about being gay, but when he really started to think about it, it was Willow always defending her 'gayness' and how gay she was and that the fact was she wasn't straight anymore. Tara never said anything like that. I guess when it came down to it; everyone just assumed she was only gay. Thinking about it even further, it would be like the Scoobies to think someone can only be gay or straight, it fit certainly well with their black and white worldview.

"What did he do to make you cry?" Spike half asked half growled, he was being uncharacteristically nice, but what did he have to lose? He was just too tired to hate and be snarky to someone he doesn't want to be snarky too.

Tara sniffled a bit, "Oh nothing really, he was just so nice and sweet and…"

Spike looked a little confused, "Isn't nice and sweet what you birds are looking for?"

Tara shrugged. "Well yeah, but you know he just reminded me of Willow, how we used to be happy and…and…I felt like I was betraying her for going on a date. I'm a bad person."

Spike looked baffled for a second, "Oh shut your gob, you silly cow."

Tara looked stunned for a moment, "Did you just call me a cow?"

Spike had to suppress an eye roll, "Not the point, Glenda. The point is you didn't betray Willow by going with some bloke or some chit. She betrayed you when she messed with your mind; she messed with all of our minds, she betrayed her friends, and she betrayed her lover. Let me tell you something Glenda, knowing that you left the house? That was brave." Spike leaned back and lit up a cigarette, "Did the Scoobies ever tell you about Drusilla? Extensively?" He asked.

Tara shook her head, "Umm they said that she was insane? And that she cheated on you? Buffy used to say she was ugly, especially after that time you chained her up. Umm you know, before last summer."

Spike briefly smiled at the indication that Buffy didn't like Drusilla especially after he chained her up, but the smile faded quickly.

"The thing is, pet. Drusilla was my everything, my black goddess, savior, and lover all rolled into one. She saved me from being just another human, brought me into this world where I made my mark. You check your history books kitten, I don't care what your Scoobies tell you or how they make light of me. I'm the second most feared vampire in the world; I've killed two slayers and once even came close to eliminating the slayer line completely. The only reason I'm not the most feared is because I'm not some bloody sick fuck like Angelus. Point is, she saved me and made me something more. For 120 years she was the only thing my eyes saw."

Spike sighed and looked down, taking a drag of his cigarette he continued on, "She cheated on me constantly, from the very beginning she made sure I knew she wasn't mine, I was only hers. Never did I leave, not once. I just took it. I wait till she was done with some new puss covered demon and then cuddle with her after she was fucked to exhaustion…. Of course I did kill the demon first. Usually snap their heads right off." Spike made a motion as he mimed ripping off a demons head.

Spike looked over to see that Tara had turned a little green from his descriptions of puss covered demons having sex and heads being ripped of.

"Right, sorry back to the point. My point WAS that I never did anything about it I just took it. I let her do these things. She eventually got rid of me when I demanded she pick me over the others, any others." Spike sighed and bent his head down a little bit, "See, luv? Your brave, you didn't take what she was doing to ya. That means something, it means you shouldn't be crying because you found a way to be happy without her."

Tara shook her head slightly, "I haven't found a way."

"What, luv?"

Tara cleared her throat and spoke louder, "I haven't found a way to be happy without her. Every time I try I…just feel guilt. Maybe you're right, Spike, maybe I was strong for leaving, but it doesn't stop hurting."

Spike's eyes darken with pain, but Tara doesn't notice as she keeps her eyes trained on her hands. "No, pet. It doesn't stop hurting."

Tara looked up and put on a small smile, "But hey at least you and Buffy are together, right?"

Spike's eyes grew cold for a second, "What?"

Tara looked at him confused, "Well Buffy told me a couple weeks ago that…you two were together?"

Spike let a bark of harsh cold laughter as he squeezed his eyes in pain.

"We were never together, pet. I was just her shag toy. There for an itch and nothing else."

Tara shook her head, "I don't believe that. Buffy wouldn't just use-"

Spike cut her off, "Remember her party? When you were all cheeky with your little cramp comments? Remember those bruises? She made them, a week before and even with vamp healing I was still bruised."

Tara gasped slightly, "No, Spike that's, she wouldn't. It's Buffy!"

"Yeah, your perfect little princess Buffy. She beat me half to death and left me to die in the alleyway, because I tried to stop her from turning herself in for a crime she didn't commit. Left me to die and wait for the sun to burn me up, and then she used me some more. Came to me for sex when she had her itch, and then she tells me I'm killing her!"

Spike grew silent and leaned back, "Doesn't matter does it." He took a swig of his beer, "Just a soulless thing. Just a monster."

Tara was in shock, she knew that Buffy was going through some bad times, but she could never have guessed that brining her back would such psychological effects. Tara reached out with her hand automatically, and began to caress Spike's cheek.

"No, no. Is that what she told you? That you're a soulless monster? No, Spike you're not those things anymore. The way you helped take care of Dawn when Buffy…w-was gone. You were her rock, you know? Monsters don't do that. They don't keep promises for d-dead girls."

Spike turned his head and shrugged off her hand, squeezing his eyes shut as he tried to ignore her words. Her awful lying words.

Tara lowered her hand in disappointment, missing the feel of his face against her hand. Now that's something she didn't want to think about. She sunk into the couch and started fidgeting with her dress again, as they slipped into silence, this time not so comfortable.

The fast paced beat bumping song playing in the bronze switched over to a slow song. The soft waves of acoustic notes washed over the grinding population of the bronze, manipulating them into truly intimate positions as they hold their partners close. Young men's arms around female waists, hands resting on the small of their back as they hold their flush body against theirs. Women's arms looped around their man's neck loosely, as they rest their delicate heads on their partner's chest. All of them moving in unison with each other, intimately, lovingly.

Spike looked over to Tara, he just started watching her for a second. She was beautiful, but it wasn't something he noticed about her before. She's so good at hiding it, but it really shined when she was being kind to you, when she was being soft. You could see it shine through her shyness.

When Tara felt eyes on her she looked up and Spike instantly looked down embarrassed. Tara looked Spike over; she had to admit he was handsome. Spike doesn't seem handsome with all the hate and aggression he usually spews, but when he was being kind and sweet, it really…shined.

Spike felt Tara's eyes hold on him for a long time and he finally looked up. Their eyes locked for a second, the need for comfort, the need for friendship, the need for something with no guilt was so raw and pleading that it gleamed effulgently in their eyes.

"Would you like to…dance, Tara?" Spike tentatively asked.

Tara wasn't sure what sounded better, him asking her to dance or the way her name sounded when it rolled off his tongue, the way it sounded like such delicious sin.

"Yeah, I would." Her words breathy, she hadn't realized that she'd been holding her breath since he asked the question.

They both got up from the couch simultaneously. Spike reached out for her hand, and with no hesitation, she took it. They moved to the dance floor with no words or eye contact, yet firm grips on each other's hand.

Spike turned to Tara and encircled his arms around her waist, his hands resting on the small of her back. She leaned into him as her arms looped around his neck, but she didn't rest her head on his chest, instead she kept eye contact with him.

They both just stared at each other as they danced slowly and closely, intimately, …almost lovingly.

Tara wasn't sure why she did what she did in the next moment, you ask her now and she'll say love. She did it for love. But that's the answer those two always have. No, if you asked her right then and there why she did what she did, she couldn't give you a truthful answer.

Tara raised her head slightly, her soft lips inching closer and closer to Spike's and finally she gave him a swift but sweet kiss.

Spike looked stunned for a moment, something akin to astonishment in his eyes.

"Would you like to…start something new? This time without the pain?" She said softly, her eyes so innocent and kind looking up into his eyes, so lively and strangely innocent as well.

Spike leaned down and captured her lips in a longer but still soft, still sweet kiss. It wasn't love yet…but it will be and they will go on, and on, and on about how they love each other and they have these pet names and damn all the public displays of affection…well those are tales for other days.

Fin