Chapter 1:
A/N: Hey guys. So in an effort to continue this story I realized that I definitely need major revision, so I will work on that until I get to the chapter we are currently on and continue from there. I have some new plans ! :)
"Hurry up Anna," I said for almost the seventh time. This was one of the things I truly hated about not being able to drive, to have to be dependent on others for rides. In the case of school my sister always drove me but unfortunately we were opposites. That means that even though I was always ready early she was always late, she was gorgeous while I was pretty plain.
"One second Kimberly," she responded and I groaned. I really disliked my full name and that is why she used it. She was so annoying but when I started to get really angry at her she would do something unbearably sweet and I'd forget about it. Oh, the powers she had as a sister.
I glanced at the clock and it read '7:45.' I liked to give myself 15 minutes for the drive to school but she didn't agree. "It's 7:45," I called through her bedroom door thoroughly annoyed. Finally it opened and I looked at her.
She was wearing a mini skirt and a tank top. Since we lived in La Push it was ever barely the weather for that type of outfit but she wore it anyway. I looked down at my own outfit; baggy jeans and a hoodie. I tried to be as conservative as possible to avoid any extra attention, while she seemed to crave it.
I admit that I don't have any confidence. I don't make new friends and that is mainly have one good friend that I have known since kindergarten. Melanie, my friend, was always there for me and was of course gorgeous. At a distance, we didn't seem to be compatible at all.
She was outgoing, athletic, while I preferred to stick to very close friends, and physical education was my worst class. However, I was never envious of how she looked, because I always would prefer to be in the background. When you looked like Melanie, that was probably pretty hard.
I did other things to bide my time, like reading, which was probably my biggest past time. I breathed books. This was where I got my overactive imagination, the one that told me that the hot guy that sat next to me in history would one day be so attracted to me that I would tire of him. I'd tell Anna all about my clingy relationship and how I was so confused on what I should do. Then she would give me boy advice and tell me that the clingy ones had to go. I'd thank her, and break his heart but he would pine after me forever.
Here I go again, fantasizing about Jared Syle. Jared, a tall, handsome classmate of mine seemed to have everything: friends, grades, and he didn't even seem to try. People liked him because he was just himself, and it definitely helped my super attraction to him.
Attraction probably wasn't the right word. It was more close to infatuation, or obsession. I watched him during lunchtime, from the other side of the cafeteria. Peered into his notebook during class, and always inhaled deeply when sitting next to him so that I could smell his scent.
Yes, I am peculiar, but I had always felt that we would get along great together.
Despite the fact that I had never said more than two words to him.
"Can I borrow your pen?" Okay, maybe a little more than two words.
When Anna and I finally reached the school I saw Melanie waiting for me like she did every morning. I could count on her to be consistent and that is one of the reasons we were so compatible. We are similar in a lot of things but she carries herself with much more elegance, while I can definitely be called a klutz. When she saw me step out of Anna's car she waved enthusiastically and I returned it.
As soon as I walked up to her she started talking animatedly about how romantic her date with her boyfriend was. Melanie was going steady with the same guy for about a year and she was infatuated with him. Every week they went out at least once and Melanie would always run back to me with the details. I would never tell her this but the details bothered me. Their dates were fine but it made me feel so empty. I assumed that it was just confirmation that I was lonely, that a piece of me was missing.
No one ever looked at me the way Chris, her boyfriend, looked at her. He looked at her with love and affection. Sometimes I felt like I was intruding by sitting at the same table as them but I never left. I would have no one else to sit with. Anna was a senior and I was a junior so we had different lunch periods. Most of the people in my grade would not think we were related based on the difference in our looks and our attitudes and she seemed to want to keep it that way. I probably would have embarrassed her.
When the first bell rang I hurried to the classroom and I was the first person there. Knowing I was alone I pulled my notebook out and began to doodle on the last page. I started out with shapes and twisty lines but soon I started to doodle Jared's name in pretty cursive, bubble letters, and block letters. Then with a twisted smile I started to draw my name with his. I wrote Mrs. Syle, Mrs. Jared Syle, and Mrs. Kim Syle.
I got a strange high off of seeing our names combined like that. That was the first time I ever doodled his name and mine like that but it wasn't the last. Soon after Jared came through the door I hurriedly flipped to the page in my notebook I would take my notes. I couldn't risk him finding out what type of stalker type things I was doing. He took his seat without a glance at me.
He never talked to me, not once, but I knew so much about him. I watched from the background how he acted, what he said and I slowly fell in love with him. It helped that he was so attractive, that he was so mysterious and that he sat right next to me. Sometimes I felt like I was really invisible especially when he would walk by me without moving his eyes toward me. One day I just wanted him to talk to me, laugh with me, or do anything with me.
When lunchtime came I spent most of it playing with my food and sneaking glances at him. We sat nowhere near each other. Occasionally I would nod my head at Melanie because she was in a long rant about something. I wasn't listening but I didn't want her to know that. I made a private pact with myself that one day I would at least talk with him. If I could just talk to him I would be happy.
Jared hadn't come to school in a while now and I was getting worried. Surely he took the occasional sick days but nothing as extensive as this. This was abnormal and I couldn't help but worry that something bad was happening. I knew I was bothering Melanie with my constant theories of what could have been happening. I had some pretty far-fetched, dorky ideas but ideas nonetheless.
During his absence something occurred to me. I realized that I was wasting my time day dreaming about something that would never happen. That something was Jared and I as an item. We would definitely never come close to being that. He probably didn't even know my name. Look at me and look at him, it was so apparent my fantasies were just fantasies. To imagine such things would just be a sick joke since I'd just end up depressed.
With Melanie's urging I was trying really hard to move past him, to forget him. Of course it would be impossible to forget him but I tried desperately to push him to the back of my head. Nothing really seemed to work well but I continued to try. Not trying would allow me to go back to a sweet escape of reality by day dreaming about him. The day he came back everything changed and I stopped trying to forget him.
The day he came back was one of La Push's few sunny days. I let this partially affect my mood and I came to school slightly positive. I felt different, like something good would happen today and Jared wasn't on my mind. As soon as I reached the school doors I heard the gossip: Jared Syle was back and I couldn't help it when my heart swelled.
As usual I was one of the first people in my class. Once I got out all of my supplies I tapped my fingers on the desk endlessly waiting to see him. The next time the door opened he walked in and took a surveying glance around the room but stopped at me.
I shamelessly watched him as his eyes widened and he froze. What was happening to him? He practically jogged to sit into his seat next to mine and when he did sit he stared at me. I looked up at him a couple of times to see him staring back and I would look down. I couldn't help but blush under his powerful gaze.
After a minute or so of looking at me he spoke, "Hello." I sheepishly turned my head to look at him for a second, "Hi."
Wow, was that all I could say? I wanted to bang my knee on a wood chair. "Are you new here?" he asked.
Okay, that stung. I've been sitting next to him for so long, had he really not noticed me? I shook my head, not bringing myself to look at him, "No, I've been sitting next to you for years now." I looked over at him and he looked taken aback at the comment, he obviously didn't know I existed before right now.
"I'm so sorry, that was really rude," he said running his hands through his hair, looking nervous. What did he have to be sorry about. "There's no problem," I said and he looked a little relieved. After a moment he asked, "Do you mind if I ask your name?" "Kim," I answered, happy that I didn't make a fool of myself. "Kim," he repeated my name and my stomach did a back flip. Everything sounded good coming out of his mouth. "I'm Jared," he said stating the obvious. I nodded, looking down at my notebook, "I know." He seemed surprised but quickly shook it off.
I fumbled around my desk to find something to calm my nerves down. I decided to examine my eraser and in my haste to get it I knocked my notebook onto the ground. Before I could reach he picked it up and was looking intently at the page it fell on. I held my hand out for it but he didn't give it back, he just kept staring at the page. Curious, I looked over his shoulder at what he was looking at and was horrified to see his name and mine written beautifully on the page. Mrs. Jared Syle, Mrs. Kim Syle, Kim Syle, Mrs. Syle stared back at me in a menacing way.
I squeaked and snatched the book out of his hand. I felt my cheeks burn from embarrassment and I put my head down on my desk over my notebook. I could've died right then and there. Would he think of me as a stalker girl with an insane out-of-reach crush? Thankfully, at that moment class had begun and he couldn't question me about it. My life was over and I was determined to run out of this class as soon as the bell rang.