Please note: Written without reference to HBP. This story is slightly modernized and a little AU.

Disclaimer: Sure, I would love to have my own island and be richer than the queen of England, but seeing as I'm currently broke... that's not really a possibility.

Summary: Au, modernized. Lily comes home after 6th year to find that she'll be spending the summer with the Marauders! Her family has agreed to take the boys on some good old fashion muggle camping experience. Her parents 'forget' to mention what they have planned for the second part of her summer, let alone that she had any plans this summer! Bets are made, hilarity occurs, and numerous trips to the hospital are in order. As the summer progresses and Lily spends more time with her nemesis, will she actually realize that there's actually a decent person in James? Or will this summer prove that he really is an insensitive dimwit?

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I Know What You're Doing This Summer

Chapter One: In Which Lily Learns of her Summer Plans

Lily Evans sat on her bed at her home in Surrey. She had just come home from her boarding school, where she had completed her sixth year. Her 17th birthday was a couple weeks back, so she would finally legally be allowed to have passengers when she drove.

Lily was a normal girl, normal, of course, in the sense that she did exceptionally well in school (she had been a prefect and had the highest marks in her year) and had had a couple of boyfriends. She had, of course, the typical brats that got on her nerves, and that one especially crazy and deranged one that had made it his official life goal to date her.

Lily sighed as she glanced at her school trunk she had yet to unpack. As she thought of how long the task would take, she heard the doorbell ring.

"Lily! Could you get that please?"

'One more magic less summer,' she thought, looking longingly at her wand lying on her bedside table, 'Until I can body bid Potter to a porkey and hex him off the Siberia, where mountain lions will rip him apart and eat his flesh!'

She got up to go answer the door.

Okay, so she wasn't exactly normal...

But she had a very good reason to hex James Potter to Siberia.

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The Day Before

"James Potter, you insufferable prat! Change my hair back this instant!" Lily yelled, fuming as she chased a tall black haired boy inside a scarlet train. Her emerald eyes were glowing dangerously, which was a clear warning sign.

"Come on Lily! The gold goes right along with your hair to show your house colors! It's a match made in heaven! Where's your sense of house pride?" James called over his shoulder, dodging a terrified first year.

"Oh, you mean the color in my hair is GOLD? Have you gone completely colorblind, because I could have sworn that this is the color blue! Wait, could this part be GREEN?"

"Lily, lighten up!"

"Yeah, you did a good job lightening up my hair twerp!"

Three boys stuck their heads out of a compartment door. One had sandy brown hair, another black, and the final blonde.

"For someone who wants her so badly, he's not doing a very good job of getting Lily to like him..." Remus Lupin pointed out logically.

"Prongs is going to change her hair back as soon as she pulls the line 'I'd rather go out with the Giant Squid than with you!' " Sirius imitated in a high voice. "Or something like that."

Remus shook his head. "Three galleons says that Prongs will get his ass kicked by Lily with that new charm she found."

"I'll take that bet Moony." Exclaimed Sirius.

"The one that makes you itch like crazy? No way!" Peter asked with a shudder. He had an unfortunate accident of getting caught in the crossfire in one of the famous Evans-Potter battles.

"Fine, be a spoilsport Wormtail." Sirius pouted.

All three boys quickly pulled their heads into the compartment, in the nick of time, saving them for decapitation as Lily and James went running by.

Inside the compartment, Peter said "I think Lily's finally going to admit her undying love to James."

Remus and Sirius turned their heads slowly and looked at Peter strangely.

Sirius scoffed, wondering how much James paid him to say that, while Remus muttered, "Always the optimistic, aren't you Wormtail?"

Peter shrugged. "One of us has got to be, at least for Prongs' sake."

The boys simultaneously stuck their heads back out into the aisle, to see the redhead walking towards them with the same rainbow hair, as James was trying to scratch himself with his hands and feet.

It was quite a funny sight, seeing the handsome young man jumping up and down, running into walls trying to itch every part of his body.

James caught their eyes and glared, suspicious of his mates, as they smiled innocently and waved.

James, in return, sarcastically waved back and made a rude hand gesture.

Remus automatically stuck his hand out toward Sirius.

The black haired boy grudgingly handed over three golden coins and muttered something containing the words, "Werewolf", "Torture", and "Silver room".

Remus smiled, wiggling his ears to show he had heard, and pocketed the money. "I maybe be a werewolf, but at least I'll be a rich one."

Sirius smiled sarcastically and proceeded to tackle Remus, taking him by surprise.

Ignoring the minor battle happening next to him, Peter watched with curiosity at Lily and James's antics.

"EVANS! Take this curse off me!"

"When you decide to grow up! I won't go out with you, no matter how many times you ask!"

"Come on Lily, I think you're just mad because I beat you on the Transfiguration final!"

A vein pulsed visibly on Lily's forehead. He did NOT just say that.

"I am SO glad I'm not going to see your stupid face until September! Would it be so hard to just leave me alone?" Lily yelled, turning on her heel and walking past the Marauder's compartment to her own. As she passed, she made sure to give Peter an evil glare.

"I know what you're doing this summer!" James called after her.

"Yeah, enjoying a peaceful vacation without you." She yelled as she stormed away.

James just stood and grinned (scratching, of course).

"That's what you think, Lily, that's what you think."

Remus and Sirius had stopped wrestling, with the latter in a headlock.

"Mercy?" Remus asked menacingly.

"ARG... fine! Whatever!"

Sirius waited expectantly, turning his head as much as possible to look at Remus.

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"Do you see me in a headlock by some shrimpy graying teenager?" Sirius said, pointing to himself.

"Is this a trick question?"

"Dammit Moony! Let me go!" Sirius yelled, trying to wriggle out of Remus's grasp.

"Say the magic word."

"Moony is the most smartest, and the most brilliant..."

Remus looked at him expectantly.

"…Dope head around." Sirius finished.

"Nope."

"Fine. Mercy."

"What? Speak up."

"Mercy." Sirius said, a little louder.

"What?"

"MERCY!"

"Jeez, you don't have to yell it!"

Sirius gave Remus a sour look. Was he going to get him back or what...

"I'll never get how such a wimpy looking guy like you can always win..." Sirius said rubbing his neck after Remus released him.

Remus smirked and said, "It's the werewolf part."

"Aha! It's all Fabio's fault..." Sirius cried.

Remus rolled his eyes. James and Sirius dubbed the werewolf part of him Fabio, for some still unknown reason. Their jokes about his 'furry problem' helped him cope with his differences, despite what logical reasoning might point out.

"You know this summer Moony..." Sirius started, with a dangerous twinkle in his eye that could rival Dumbledore's.

Remus arched an eyebrow.

"Let's have a little bet. Ten galleons says Prongs kisses Lily, and it'll be by the end of the…err, first part, that they start dating."

"Little bet? 20 galleons says that Lily and Prongs hook up by the end of summer, with Lily kissing Prongs. Friends first though." Remus said smugly.

Sirius raised his eyebrows. "Little bet?"

"Don't mock me, Lassie."

"Who the hell is Lassie? I've been asking that since 2nd year!"

"Pay attention to Muggle Studies and you would have found out in 3rd."

"Please, Wolf Boy, that's against my morals." Sirius scoffed.

"I thought you didn't know what 'morals' were."

"WORK WITH ME HERE!"

Peter rolled his eyes and sighed, biting into a Pumpkin Pasties.

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5 MINUTES BEFORE, PRESENT TIME

The four boys pulled themselves and their luggage up to the Evan's house, dropping it on the front porch.

"I can just see the look on Evans face when she finds out her summer plans…." Sirius said, rubbing his hands together.

"I don't think it'll look different from any other time the professors paired her with Prongs." Remus added smartly.

"Hmm."

The four boys stared at the door for a few minutes.

"So do we just go in?" James asked, looking around the neighborhood.

Wizard visitors usually apperated right into the building, if the owners allowed it through magic. Other times, they just flooed in. None of them had ever been to a pure muggle house, though Remus knew what certain muggle items were, seeing as he was a half-blood.

"Didn't they say something about a ringing noise polite?" Sirius questioned, "But I don't see a bell anywhere…."

"Maybe we're suppose to just open the door?" Remus remarked. "I mean, it's only Lily's house. What about that button?"

Sirius pointed a finger at Remus. "No. No buttons. Bad experience." He turned back to studying the door.

"But shouldn't there be some sort of lock? You know, to keep the bad guys out?" James said.

"I think we're suppose to ring a bell. Now where do we find a bloody bell?" Sirius said, patting his pants' pockets.

"How are they suppose to hear it if we're out here?" James said bewildered. "They'll never be able to hear a bell!"

"Maybe it's a loud bell." Peter suggested.

"Guys, let's just knock and go in." Remus insisted. "Better yet, push the button. What harm could it do?"

"No no no no no. Last time you said that we landed inside McGonagall's room. We're not having a repeat." Sirius stated.

"This isn't McGonagall's house, genius."

"No, we're defidentally suppose to get a bell." Peter said, looking around. "That's what they said in muggle studies, right?"

"Say we listen to Remus and knock. Are they really going to be able to hear it through the door?" Sirius asked his friends. "Maybe we should all pound on it."

Remus looked at James, who shrugged. "If I'm right, and we were suppose to press that button ("NO!"), or knock once, you all owe me a galleon each."

James scoffed. "Bring it on. Okay, count of three we all start hitting the door."

Everyone nodded in agreement.

"One… two-"

"You do know how to count to three, right Prongs?"

"Of course I can dimwit. One-"

"You already said one."

"Well gee, Padfoot, if you let me get past it we would already be at three. One, two… THREE!"

And four teenage boys began beating the Evans' door with their fists, occasionally running against it, banging their bodies.

"No one's answering!"

"Come on, knock harder!"

They continued to hit the door, often swearing.

Suddenly, the door was knocked down from its hinges and the boys crashed onto and older man wearing a camouflage hunting vest, who was about to open the door.

The boys all tumbled into the foyer, where they were surprised to see lots of animal heads on the walls. James got wide eyed when he saw a stag's head. He gulped, imagining his head being chopped off and mounted on a wall.

James blinked. How did they get a stag's head on a wall without magic? He assumed it was like the house elves at the Blacks, which he had fortunately only been to once.

Sirius sat up, shaking his head rapidly, trying to get rid of some dizziness. Sirius also realized that all the animal head were staring at him to. Freaked out about the fact that the animals were all watching him, he skirted across the floor until his hand hit something furry. He looked up slowly.

He yelp and scurried away from the stuffed bear that was towering over him, baring all of its teeth at him.

"What the bloody hell are you doing, knocking down my door! You're a burglar! I'm calling the police! I've got a gun!" The old man yelled, getting up, reaching for a rifle that was on top of a bureau.

As Remus looked across the room he noticed that on all the higher furniture there were long… pipes? What would Lily be doing with pipes, and why would there be an old man who was clearly obsessed with dead animals in her house?

Not that the boys actually knew that muggles used a rifle to kill people, but they assumed that it was a good idea if the man didn't get what he was reaching for.

Remus hurriedly blocked his path to the rest of the house, debating whether to push the man away from bureau. "No! We're not criminals! We never take other peoples stuff! Don't call the police."

If the Marauders knew one thing about muggles, it was their policemen. Sirius and James had a run in with an officer the summer before 5th over a slight, err, misunderstanding.

"Prongs did steal my sugar quill last month though. ARREST HIM!" Sirius yelled, pointing at James.

"I love you too Padfoot."

The old man, who was obviously wearing false teeth, shot them an evil and terrifying glare, and continued to jump for the gun.

"You were knocking down my door! I'm calling the police! I'm being robbed! You're all dangerous!" He wailed. With every word, he shook a threatening finger at them, occasionally staring threateningly at the gun that was out of his reach.

"Only Remus once a month." James retaliated. "Well, and Sirius all the time. So that's an unfair statement."

Remus groaned. "You realized you made me sound like I'm a hormonal female teenager?"

"I'M CALLING! AND I'M GOING TO GET MY GUN!"

Remus shook his hands in front of him. "No! Don't call! Don't get your, erm, gun!"

Sirius was about to lean on the table for support (he was feeling a little dizzy from the fall), when the man started yelling at Sirius.

"DON'T TOUCH THAT! YOU'RE GOING TO STEAL IT!"

"NO I'M BLOODY NOT! How would I steal a table? Hide it in my pocket?" Sirius jumped back and stood in a mock army pose. "Are you happy now?"

Peter, who just sat up, looked at the old man strangely. "Who are YOU?"

The old man stopped trying to get around Remus and gave Peter the same bewildered look. "Who are YOU?"

The boy shrugged. "Peter?"

"What are you doing in my house? Stealing something! Taking advantage of an old man who lives alone!"

All four Marauders stared at the old man. "ALONE?"

There was an awkward silence.

"So this isn't the Evans' household?" James asked slowly.

"Next door on the left number 13… wait, you're trying to rob them!" The old man spat. All intentions of getting the gun forgotten, he picked up a boot menacingly, holding it as if it were a machete. "I won't let you hooligans steal anything for anybody!"

"No no no no! We're their friends!" Remus protested.

"I'm sure James wouldn't mind robbing Lily of her knickers, eh?" Sirius said, elbowing James.

James turned bright red and pushed Sirius out the door, eager to get away from the old man. "WE'LL BE LEAVING NOW! THANKS FOR YOUR HELP!"

Peter and Remus hurried after their friends, hastily grabbing their luggage.

"Damn robbers!"

As they walked on the pathway, Sirius was hit in the back of the head with a boot.

Sirius rubbed his head and picked up the projectile. "What. The. Hell."

He turned around and chucked the boot back through the doorway, receiving a yelp. A few seconds later more shoes came flying out of the doorway, and the boys started running down the old mans walk way, using their bags to shield them from oncoming shoes.

"Get out of here you nitwits!" The old man hollered. "You owe me a door!"

Once they were outside the gate they slowed to a walk.

The other three boys stared at Sirius.

"What? Don't look at me like that! He threw it first!"

"You threw a shoe at a senile, paranoid, spazy old man!" Peter pointed out. "That's not nice!"

"So? I throw them at my grandfather all the time. He's not nice."

"That doesn't make it right!" Remus protested.

"It makes him shut up!"

Peter looked at him strangely as they approached the real Evans's house. "I'll never understand your family. Or you for that matter."

"Yeah, you'll siriusously never understand my family."

There was a collection of groans as Sirius grinned to himself.

"Did you guys see? He had MY HEAD in there!"

"Prongs, it was a stag's head, not yours…."

"You know what Padfoot, I really think that old man would enjoy hunting down a certain dog…"

"Am I the only one who found the situation hilarious?"

"Probably Padfoot, I mean, its not everyday you break down a door, get harassed by a paranoid geezer, and get pelted with boots. I'm sure you enjoyed the experience."

"I agree with Moony. He's more dangerous than us."

The Marauders nodded in agreement, and followed Remus's suggestion of pushing the button next to the door.

Sirius hugged himself hard and squeezed his eyes shut.

The rest of the Marauders stared at Sirius with an I-Can't-Believe-This look.

Sirius opened one eye cautiously. "McGonagall's not around, is she?"

Remus rolled his eyes as the door opened.

Simultaneously, all the Marauders crossed their fingers behind their backs with terrified looks on their face.

Lily stood at the door, wide eyed.

There was an awkward silence as Lily's mouth hung open.

"You! Here- whaaaaaat! How! ARGGG!" She stammered and slammed the door in the boy's faces. There was a scream from inside the house.

"It's nice to see you too Lily! I would love to come in!" Sirius said to the door. "My summer is great so far! I was pelted with shoes by an old geezer!"

The boys waited outside the door, unsure of what to do.

Remus awkwardly put his hand out. The boys groaned and handed over their galleons.

Remus grinned at stared at the door.

Moments later, the door reopened, showing Lily next to her mother.

"Hello boys! Was the taxi alright?"

"We, er, figured it out." Remus decided it would be a good idea not to tell them what happened after the taxi, and that there neighbor was a homicidal maniac who abused kids with shoes.

"We'll hear more about that later. Come in!"

Mrs. Evans led the boys into the living room, where they put down their luggage.

"I'm so glad your parents allowed you to come camping with us. Petunia won't be able to come, seeing as she's with her fiancée."

Lily, who was next to her mother, stared. "We're going camping?"

"Yes, honey. The boys are coming too. We're leaving in a few days, and staying for three weeks at that campsite we went to last year. Remember that place?"

Lily walked hurriedly to the stairs.

"Excuse me while I go kill myself."

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