A how i met your mother Fiction
"Inspired by Ted's constant search of true love and his funky personality and to the late night parties, that'll last forever in our memories."
Legen-wait for it!-fever . . . ?
Chapter 1: I'm Sick, I'm Not Sick, I'm SickThe day started off just like any other, besides the extreme cold outside. It was mid January and the gang decided to meet up at the bar after a long winter day. Lily and Marshall already were there while Barney was hitting on a hot blond by the counter. Robin was riding a taxi over and Ted, well they didn't know where Ted was actually. He hadn't responded to any of Lily nor Marshall's calls and the last time they saw him he was in the apartment, but when Marshall and Lily came home he wasn't there.
When Robin entered the familiar bar, it became clear that none of them had a clue where Ted was and that worried Lily. Marshall felt something in the pit of his stomach but he pushed that feeling away so he could look manlier for Lily.
"Hey where's Ted?" Robin asked, seating herself opposite of the couple and took a glance over at Barney who was telling a joke to the girl he sat by.
"We don't know. I thought he was with you." Lily said honestly, brushing her hair behind her ear.
"I haven't seen Ted all day. It isn't like him to be away." Robin replied, looking somewhat worriedly at the entrance, hoping Ted Mosby would walk through it.
"We saw him this morning." Marshall chipped in and Lily nodded her head in agreement.
"Have you asked Barney?" Robin questioned.
"No, Barney's busy if you haven't noticed." Lily said and watched Robin stand up.
"I guess I'll have to be a deal breaker." Robin informed them and walked over to Barney. She slowly undid some of the top buttons on her shirt and slid up to Barney.
"Barney, who's this?" Robin said as she placed her hands onto his shoulders, which he automatically flinched.
"Robin? What are you doing?" Barney demanded and instantly the pretty blond girl was confused.
"Barney I thought I was your only special one?" Robin asked sticking her bottom lip out and glared at the other girl.
"Barney I thought you were single?" The girl snapped and stood up.
"No-no-no! It's not what it seems Jasmine!" Barney said as he followed her out.
But after a few seconds of angry discussion Barney was denied and then slapped in the face. Barney then came back sulkily to the table, glaring directly at Robin as he came closer.
"Why did you do that? It was going to be-legen-wait for it-dary!" Barney said and the smile was back upon his face.
"Where's Ted?" Robin questioned, no sympathy in her voice.
"Ted, Ted, Ted. Hmm, don't know-don't care." Barney said the swung around to find another hot chick but Robin snatched him by his coat.
"Hey this coat is expensive!" He complained but Robin didn't acknowledge him.
"When's the last time you saw Ted?" She asked and Barney tapped his chin in thought.
"Well I don't know-a few hours ago." He replied then tried to turn around, but Marshall stood up and placed a hand on his chest and shook his head.
"Where was he?" Robin said and Barney thought about it for a second.
"Do you want the long or short story?" Barney replied with a smile and they all sighed.
"The short." They all said in sync.
"So long story short-I grab Ted-we do crazy stuff-we go to a strip club-Ted got in trouble-I said run-Ted missing." Barney said with a smile and nodded his head as he completed his story.
"What do you mean Ted got in trouble?" Lily questioned and Barney rolled his eyes.
"He accidently hitted on someone's girlfriend-and oh man that guy was big!" Barney exclaimed and Lily gasped.
"Well-is he okay!?" Lily asked and Barney shrugged.
"He went through the back entrance while I being awesome went straight into the street and jumped into a taxi." Barney explained and Robin shook her head disapprovingly.
"You haven't even tried to look for him?" Lily said and Barney shook his head.
"Hell no! You should have seen the size of the guy. Anyways I thought he went to Robin." Barney said and he sounded completely honest and no one questioned him further.
"Why does everyone think Ted was with me?" Robin asked and everyone just chuckled.
"Robin, Ted was talking about seeing you this morning, so naturally we thought he was with you." Lily explained.
"Oh." Robin said and sat down followed by Barney who seemed to forget that she was the one that made him lose his date.
"Well I guess we'll sit here and wait." Marshall said and sat down, but everyone was quite for a second until they all said:
"Let's get a drink." Then they all nodded their heads and said yeah.
It was about a half hour later Ted came through the bar. They didn't notice him for a second but Barney noticed the familiar brown spiked hair. When Barney pointed him out they instantly jumped up and surrounded him. But his appearance surprised them all. His jacket was missing, the rest of his clothes were soaked, his teeth chattered and his left eye was swollen.
"Oh Ted honey what happened?" Lily questioned as she wrapped an arm around him and walked him over to the table.
Marshall then took his sweatshirt off and draped it around Ted who continued to shiver. Ted remained silent for a few moments and they waited respectfully for him to gather his bearings. He then took in a deep breath, but before he spoke he sneezed loudly and stifled a few times. Lily smiled gently and gave him a hug, Marshall ruffled his hair, Barney gave him his beer and Robin got out a Kleenex (or should I say facial wipe) from her purse. Ted nodded his thanks and began his story.
"It started this morning when Barney came by . . ."
It was Saturday morning and Lily and Marshall were heading out for a breakfast date. Ted on the other hand was planning on how he was going to get Robin to go to the movies. Marshall and Lily said their goodbyes and went out the door, then a few minutes later burst in Barney, his face was full of excitement.
"Ted-Ted-Ted!" Barney shouted as he rushed over to his friend, but Ted frowned.
"No Barney." He stated and continued to put his shoes on.
"Ted you haven't even heard what I was about to say." Barney pointed out, but Ted shook his head.
"I don't want to know what you're going to say. I'm going to Robin's." He replied and stood up, but Barney blocked his way.
"Suit up Ted! We're going on an awesome adventure!" Barney announced.
"No Barney, I'm going to Robin's." Ted informed him.
"But Ted! It's going to be legen-wait for it-dary!" Barney pointed out, but Ted was unconvinced.
"Still no." Ted replied.
"Ted why do you always do this to me!" Barney yelled and Ted smirked.
"Barney are you crying?" He asked, barely holding back the giggles.
"No Ted, I had something in my eye!" Barney snapped and stormed out of the apartment.
Ted sighed and snatched up his jacket. Slowly he made his way to the door with Robin in his mind. He gripped the handle and turned it and walked out. He locked the door behind himself and rounded the corner and there was Barney who punched him directly in the left eye. Causing him to fall unconscious.
"Wait wait wait! Barney you didn't knock me out." Ted announced as Barney had intervened the story at the last moment.
"Yes Ted, I did. How else did I duck tape you?" Barney pointed out.
"Wait-what!?" Robin exclaimed and Ted told them all to hush up and before continuing he had a fit of sneezes.
"Alright, now where was I . . . ? Oh right-Barney punched me . . ."
Ted had never felt this dizzy in his entire life as he fell backwards he smacked his head on the wall and the floor. Barney then said his apologies and helped him up. Slowly Barney got him out of the apartment and onto the streets of New York City. When he got a taxi Ted was beginning to regain control of his body.
Desperately Barney shoved him into the taxi and duck taped his mouth shut, followed by his hands and feet.
"Wait you're telling me Barney duck taped you and the driver was okay with this?" Marshall asked suspiciously, butting into the story.
"Barney tipped him." Ted said coldly and sneezed again.
"Ted maybe you should get some rest?" Lily informed him and gently rubbed his shaking back.
"It's fine Lily, but thanks." Ted replied and sneezed again and even Barney knew something was wrong with him.
"Okay just let me finish my story and then I'll go home." Ted told them and thought about where he had left off.
"Oh yeah, Barney tipped the driver-" Ted started but he got cut off.
"How about you skip to the part where you go to the strip club? Because it takes twice as long with you sneezing and stuttering." Robin said with a smile and they all agreed.
"Okay-okay. The strip club. So there we were inside the club . . ."
Ted stood in the middle of the crowd, Barney by his side who was scanning the crowd for the hottest girl there. But Ted found someone first. She was pretty with long flowing brunette hair, her eyes were chocolate brown and she wore a leather jacket with black jeans. Ted instantly pointed her out to Barney and Barney nodded his head with a smile upon his face.
"Excellent Ted. Excellent." He said and approached the girl with Ted following slowly.
Ted kept his distance and he saw Barney's expression change, but he then waved Ted forward.
"Have you met Ted?" Barney asked the girl as he yanked Ted forward.
"No." The girl said politely and she shook hands with Ted.
"Hi I'm Ted." He said and she smiled.
"I'm Alice." She replied and Ted returned the smile.
"Look Ted, I'm sure you're a real nice guy but you should leave." Alice informed him and Ted looked confused.
"Oh come on Alice, we just met, you're not at all curious about me?" Ted asked, his smile returning to his face.
"Well of course I'm curious but I'm already dating someone." She told him and Ted raised his eyebrows.
"Oh well how about I give you my number just in case you become single?" Ted said as he pulled out a pen.
"Look I'm sorry Ted, but you should take your friend and leave." Alice said then she gasped and Ted turned around.
In front of him was her boyfriend. The man seemed to be almost seven feet tall and had biceps bigger than Ted's head. Ted felt a shiver go up his spine as the man's breath blew his hair.
"Alice, who is this?" He asked, glaring down at Ted while Barney watched a few feet away.
"That's Ted, we just-" Alice started but got cut off by her boyfriend.
"You know I don't like it when you talk to strangers." He growled and cracked his knuckles which Ted could hear over the loud music.
"Run Ted Run!" Barney shouted and zigzagged his way to the front entrance while Ted ran for the back exit with the hunk of muscle at his heels.
As he burst through the door he felt the snow beginning to fall down upon him. Ted sprinted down the alley way and rounded the corner only to be snatched by the collar of his jacket and dragged back into the dark alley and there behind him was the large man.
Ted started to panic and tried to think of a way out. He then slipped his jacket off but the man tackled him and pinned him to the icy concrete. Ted then turned to face him and prepared to face his beating.
"Oh my god Ted! You got mugged!" Robin gasped and Ted nodded his head miserably.
"He even punched me in the same eye as Barney did." Ted complained and placed the cold beer cup to his swollen eye.
"Why didn't you ride a taxi home?" Lily said and kissed him on the cheek.
"He took my money." Ted said, pointing out the obvious.
"How come you didn't call?" Marshall questioned and Ted looked over at Barney.
"Barney took my phone when he duck taped me, he was afraid that I was going to call Robin afterwards." Ted said and then sneezed and they all felt pity for him, even Barney who guiltily scratched the back of his head. Lily then noticed as she kept her arm around him that he constantly shivered.
"Ted why don't we get you home?" Lily said and Marshall slid out of the bench.
"Yeah it's late, I should be heading home." Robin said and they all got up.
Ted took several steps toward the door before stumbling over and crashing straight into Barney.
"Woah Ted!" Barney exclaimed and held him steady.
"Ted?" Barney said snapping his finger in his face, but Ted was out of it.
"Marshall!" Barney called over to him and the two of them carried him out.
Lily followed slowly and promised Robin she would take care of Ted for her. Robin then went her separate way back to her apartment and so did Barney after they got him up the stairs and into the apartment. They then dumped him on the couch and Barney left to his own apartment. Lily and Marshall were then left to take care of Ted.
Lily strolled over to Ted who was half awake. She sat beside him and touched the sides of his face which burned with fever as he continued to shiver.
"Marshall do we have any medicine? Ted has a fever." Lily called over to Marshall.
"I'll check." He replied and went into the kitchen.
"Here sit up Ted." Lily told him and helped Ted sit up and he slumped against the couch, his face drained of color.
Slowly she pulled off his shirt to reveal the bruises over his sweaty body. Lily then gasped in surprise and she nearly cried. Marshall then came into the room holding the Tylenol and he too gasped in surprise.
"I know Ted was beaten but I didn't know it was this bad." Marshall stated and handed Lily the medicine.
"The liquid kind? You know this stuff is nasty?" Lily said looking at it.
"Just make him drink some of it. I'm going to grab some icepacks." Marshall responded and left the room and back to the kitchen again.
"Ted. Ted wake up!" Lily said, smacking him on the side of the face.
"Huh?" Ted mumbled, his head rolling back in forth.
"I need you to drink this." Lily informed him and he opened his eyes.
"Why?" He mumbled, his eyes half open.
"You're sick." She pointed out.
"I'm sick?" He exclaimed and chuckled.
"I'm not si-sick." Mosby stuttered still in denial of his physical state. Lily just raised an eyebrow at him.
"I'm sick." He muttered in realization and wiped the sweat from his forehead.
"Right. I need to drink some of it." Ted said and Lily poured some of it into the lid and handed it to him. But Ted's arm shook so bad he could hold the cup straight and he nearly spilt it when Lily took it from his hand.
"Here." She said and tilted his head back and pressed the cup to his lips, he then drank it down and ended with a fit of sneezes.
Marshall then came back into the room holding two icepacks. He slowly made his way over to Lily and Ted and knelt beside them.
"Here, I brought one for your eye and the other for the bruise on your ribs." Eriksen informed Ted and Lily took the icepacks from his hands. She then let Ted lay down on the red couch.
"Thank you." She chirped and placed one on Ted's eye and he instantly took a sharp intake of oxygen which seemed to cause him pain as his face cringed up. Gently she grasped his hand and moved it to his eye with the icepack.
"Hold that." She said and he did as he was told.
Miss Aldrin then grabbed the second one and placed it on his right ribs and instantly his face cringed up and he fought down the tears. But with his chest shuttering with trying not to cry, it only caused him more pain and he couldn't hold it down much longer. Ted then started to stifle letting a few tears slip by and Lily grasped his free hand.
"Shhh." Lily hushed him gently. She then threw a thin blanket over him. Lily Aldrin then soothingly rubbed his shoulder before getting up. But before she could walk away, Ted frantically snatched her hand.
"Is-is the door lo-locked?" He asked, his voice trembling and the fear clearly cracking in.
"I'll lock it right now." Lily said and she nodded at Marshall and he walked over to the door and locked it all up. Ted then nodded after he heard the locks twisted into place.
"Now you get some sleep Ted Mosby." Lily said with a smile and kissed him upon the cheek.
Marshall and Lily then left into their own room after turning off the lights. They both changed into their pajamas and went into bed, both of them thinking about Ted. Eriksen fell asleep within minutes but Lily couldn't fall asleep. All she could think about was Ted's story and how he got mugged.
She couldn't imagine how scary it was to be alone in a dark alley way with a man who wanted to beat the living daylights out of you. And how in the world did he walk all the way back to the bar? Lily knew in an instant that she wouldn't be able to do that. Then she thought about how lonely he must feel right now, alone in the dark on the couch. Lily then wondered if he was awake.
Slowly she slid out of bed, not wanting to wake Marshall. Lily opened the door carefully and slipped out, leaving the door open behind her. She then listened closely and she could hear Ted stifling again. Aldrin crept towards Ted and made her way around the couch to face him.
Even in the dark she could see his figure. He was curled up into a ball, his hand still holding the icepack to his swollen eye. He seemed asleep but she could tell that he still had somewhat consciousness because he continued to cry quietly.
"Ted?" She whispered, but he didn't respond.
"Ted?" She said again and reached out a hand and touched him. Immediately he shriveled back and pushed her hand away.
"Ted it's me." Lily told him and bent down next to him. Ted started to cry again and she reached over and hugged him, cradling his sweaty head on her shoulder.
"It's alright. You're safe now." Aldrin said soothingly, rubbing the back of his head with her hand.
She continued to hush him for a few more moments before they broke apart and he eased back down.
"Here you can ice yourself later. It's already been a half hour." Lily said and took the icepacks. She placed them back in the freezer and went back over to Mosby.
"Goodnight Ted." She whispered and kissed him on the forehead.
"If you need anything I'll be in my room." She informed him like he was a little child.
"Okay." He muttered tiredly and fell asleep a few minutes later and Lily followed as well.