Okay, so, this is my first fic under this name, and it's my first Shafferty fic. I used to write under a different penname, but god was I awful, so I'm just going to pretend that part of my life doesn't exist and start anew. Hopefully you don't think this is as atrocious as I do. I'm still trying to find these character's voices. Let me know what you think, yeah?
Takes place after the events of 2x16, so spoilers and stuff.
She's outside Rafferty's new apartment building – the one she moved into as the first step in moving on, because her house held too many memories and even more shattered hopes and dreams - before she knows what's happening. Rafferty buzzes her in without even asking who it is, and now Shay's gonna have to talk to her about that too, because for all Rafferty knows there's a stranger on their way up to kill her, or worse … sell her something.
Not long after that train of thought ends, she's outside Rafferty's door, and she's just now realizing how late it actually is; she worked the closing shift at Molly's, which probably wasn't the best idea because a bartender's no good if she spends the entire time with the events of the day on replay in her mind.
Shay considers turning around and going home, because Rafferty hardly enjoys her company on a good day, so she probably wouldn't appreciate being woken up in the middle of the night, but eventually Shay just thinks Screw it because for how quickly Rafferty buzzed her in she must have been awake already and if she doesn't do this now she never will.
It takes three knocks for the door to open, and then Rafferty's standing in the doorway in a t-shirt that's too big and shorts that definitely aren't. Shay draws her eyes up quickly because now is not the time to get distracted, especially not when Rafferty's looking at her like that; curious and perplexed and a whole bunch of other synonyms but not at all upset.
"Shay?" she asks. "What are you doing here?"
Shay opens her mouth to recite the speech that she must have practiced a thousand times in her head on the way over, but naturally, that is not what comes out. "I- I just- Um. I almost got killed today."
"What?" Shay almost cringes because, wow, she did not want to start with that.
"Well, almost and killed may be sort of an exaggeration. See, we – Dawson and I – we responded to this call and as it turns out, the guy we were there for had like, a shit ton of cocaine or something on him, right? So these dudes, obviously they wanted it, and I guess what I should've said is that I could have been shot and-" She tries to recover, but she knows she's not making it any better and thank god Rafferty takes pity on her.
"Just shut up and come in, okay?"
"Yeah, okay." And Rafferty moves to let her in, and then goes to grab a couple of beers out of the fridge while Shay settles in on the couch. They sit in an awkward silence until Shay coughs and rubs at the back of her neck.
"So, uh, why are you up so late tonight?" She asks, and Rafferty snorts before she looks at Shay and realizes it was a serious question.
"Oh, no," she replies, "I'm not the one who showed up on your doorstep at 2:30 in the morning. You first."
Shay nods because yeah, she has a lot of explaining to do, doesn't she? "Uh, okay, so I could've been shot today. And, I mean, it's sort of a big deal, but it's sort of not, because I've been in situations like that before, y'know? Except, this time it kind of got me thinking." She stops there, staring down at her lap instead of at Rafferty.
There's a few beats of silence before Rafferty finally gets impatient. "Thinking about what?"
Shay takes a deep breath and decides to get it all out as quickly as she can. She looks back up into Rafferty's eyes, "About a lot of things, I guess. About myself and how awful my track record with women is, about how I'm trapped in the biggest lesbian cliché ever by falling for a straight girl, about how inappropriate falling for that straight girl is considering the fact that she just lost her fiancé and is probably not looking for anyone else, especially considering she has previously expressed her distaste for-"
"Wait, wait, hold up," Rafferty stops her and Shay is certain this is the part where Rafferty tells her to go and that she'll be requesting a new partner when she's finally allowed to come back, but the dismissal never comes. "You survive a potentially life threatening situation and the first thing you think about is me?"
Shay can only shrug helplessly, and Rafferty sighs. "Wow, you are just one big cliché, aren't you?" Shay rolls her eyes and goes to leave, not feeling up to the snarky attitude of the woman before her, but Rafferty grabs her arm. "No, wait, I'm sorry. Look, if we're talking clichés, I guess I'm one too. My fiancé, he gave me the whole 'I know you're upset but I want you to be happy so find someone new and fall in love again' speech and of course, I was convinced that would never happen." Now Rafferty's the one who can't look Shay in the eye but she soldiers on because if Shay can admit something like this to her, the least she can do is return the favor. "Then I met you, and, I don't know. I never did any experimenting in college or anything, and I never really considered this to be a possibility, but … here I am."
Shay thinks she knows what's going on right now, but she also thought she and Clarice were in it for the long haul, so she decides she needs to hear it out loud. "And, where is 'here' exactly?"
Rafferty opens and closes her mouth once, and Shay almost thinks she's gonna back out, but then she says shrugs and says, "I'm falling for you, too."
Shay swallows, and everything is silent again, but it isn't as awkward as before. It feels like they're both just digesting the information they've just been given. Finally, Rafferty can't stand the silence so she says, "Look, I know I've kind of treated you like crap since we met, okay? And I really don't have a good excuse for it, except that I was still hurting, but I'm still sorry. And I know that it's crazy to think that you'd ever even consider, after everything I've done, that I'm telling the truth, but-"
This time Shay's the one to cut Rafferty off, but it's with a kiss, and Rafferty smiles into it. When they break apart, she's still smiling, and now Shay is too. They do that for a while, smile at each other in between kisses on Rafferty's couch until it's too late for Shay to go home and so Rafferty invites her to stay, so she does.
Rafferty grabs Shay by the hand, pulls her into the bedroom and they don't get any farther than trading kisses back and forth, but Shay feels like maybe this won't turn out like the tragic lesbian cliché and Rafferty feels like she's finally moving on.