A/N And so another story joins the category of MR futuristic AU! I've read quite a few of these since I came here, so it follows that I would eventually write one too. I've never done anything like this (man, I say that a lot), and I'm not sure if what I have is too wordy with not enough happening or if it works. Keep in mind that this is just the first chapter, an introduction of sorts. But please, find every problem you can and tell me about it. I want to make this something worth reading. Thanks so much.

Hey, now, Maria. Don't be afraid. It's been a long time since I did anything worthy of fear. I'm too old to even get mad anymore. So

what's that look for? My days of fighting ended long ago.

Oh? What's that?

You're confused. Get used to it honey, we're all confused. No one knows anything anymore. All we're taught is blind loyalty. Can't learn

much from worship, can you? But at the same time, you know we're supposed to adore and only adore. Don't ask questions. I remember

reading that in a book as a child. As ridiculous as it may have seemed then, it makes sense to me now. It's how they keep things under

control here.

I can't help you. I'm sorry. I'm not supposed to speak. Even if I knew something you didn't, I wouldn't be able to say it. What makes

you think I'll be more informed than you in the first place? If anything, you know more, since you're still in school. They've taught you a

lot. Things may have been taught wrongly back when I was in school, though, so I'm not supposed to say anything that might sway your

beliefs. You don't want to fall under the influence of evil. And if I said something, they'd know. They always know. Foolproof, isn't it?

Their system is foolproof.

Turn what off? Oh, it. You want me to turn it off. You know that can't be done. No one knows how, for one. Nowhere else is there any

technology anything like this. Technology, yes, that's the official word for these sorts of things. It's archaic now, but I remember when it

was used. Like so many other things, though, it died off. It wasn't useable anymore. It didn't really apply to anything that we had. So

many things that used to be no longer are, because the government says they shouldn't be. They don't give us any control anymore, but

no one really cares. After the stories of the war, everyone seems to be grateful that we have a way to be united like we are. The want

of safety wins out over our curiosities, at least for the time being. There are other countries like us, you know, but they are far away. We

don't communicate with them; no one outside of the government does. And to see them, you'd have to cross the mountains and find a

way to the other side of the ocean.

You've never seen the ocean, have you? I'll tell you about that, if you'd like. It's used so commonly in comparisons, but the words they fit

it with never seem to do it justice. They can't. Something about the ocean refuses to be captured by our vocabulary. But I'll try, if you

want. I'll do anything for my little girl. Anything.

No, I didn't literally mean anything, young one. I told you already, I can't talk. Those things you want to know are forbidden. I've tried

my hardest to suppress them for all these years; don't you go pulling them out now. Yes, I know I'll have expired soon, but that's not all

that matters here. I can't go forgetting the rules. They told us to live with honor until the very end, because there will be punishment for

people who behave shamefully. No, I know what you're about to say. It can be that bad, and it will be. Would be. If I told you anything.

Don't you go thinking that my advanced age is a protection from the government. If they didn't hurt me, they might do something even

worse. What if they forced me to punish you? That would be unbearable, and I won't risk it. Why do you want to know these things,

anyway?

Oh, I see. Don't. You can't go thinking like that, because you won't survive. At least, not happily. Not as who you thought you were.

You can't go around questioning everything that way and expect them to ignore it. Yes, I did tell you not to be afraid, but I was telling

you not to fear me. What was that apprehension for, anyhow? Was it those rumors again? Daddy's not a killer, I swear. Not anymore.

Don't be scared of me, be scared of them. They're the ones who will hurt you.

Yes, darling, what? I know I just repeated myself, and I'm talking like you're still a child, aren't I? Technically, you are, you know. Another

year until you're considered an adult. I'm sorry, forgive me. I forget myself sometimes. But I repeated myself on purpose. I wanted the

message to sink in. Oh, that wasn't what you were talking about? What, then? Not so fast, sweetie, I'm not as young as you are

anymore. And I never had Momma's brains.

Anymore. Yes, I just said that. It's likely to be my epitaph. Or, I'm sure it would be if they gave you epitaphs anymore. There I go again,

don't I? I think I'd like that on my hypothetical headstone, though. He was once brave, brilliant, and beautiful. He's not anymore. But I said it

because, believe it or not, I used to be smart. Before I got old. Oh, you were talking about something else again. Before? Before what?

Like I said, you're too fast for me. Oh, I remember now. Daddy's not a killer anymore. Disregard that, please. Daddy's not a killer; he's

just losing his mind. Why would he have ever killed anyone? You know how bad killing is. If Daddy had done it, he wouldn't be sitting

here talking to you right now. No, he just misspoke, that's all. He's getting old. I'm getting old.

Mon Dieu, child, your questions never stop, do they? See, another one! Before I had a chance to answer the first. For your information,

that was French. No one speaks it anymore, though it used to be common in this area. It became extinct after the apocalypse. Well, not

the apocalypse, that wasn't the correct phrase. It was more like…the day the world was saved.

What? Yes, of course I believe that! You should, too. It's easy for you to scoff; you don't know what the world was like before the

Billions War. There are few alive anymore that remember it. It was fifty years ago now—a half a century. You know most people are

retired once they reach the age of forty. Well, forty-five, I suppose, if you're a woman, but that's still less than fifty. It's better for us this

way, it really is. You can't do anything when you get old. That's not what you're talking about? Oh, the fact that we don't speak

languages like French anymore. Well, we don't need to, do we? We can all speak one language and then we all understand each other.

There might be a few people besides me that know it, though…other languages were around for a bit after the war, before we decided to

unify our tongue. And some of the people in the government who have to live for longer than forty years might know it. Sometimes I

wonder how they manage to last as well as they do, but then again, I don't suppose you need much energy to govern. Just brains.

That's why I'm not in the government.

You think I was once, I can see it in your face. No, I was never that important. I was only ever a pawn. A more important pawn than

some, and more trusted, but a pawn nonetheless. Don't sigh so, we're all pawns. We're just taught not to realize it. You figured it out,

though, didn't you? Well, don't go telling other people. They haven't discovered that they don't want to be doing this. Life isn't easy,

and you'll keep learning that as you grow. Only so much can be learned from books, because there are things that can't be written

down. Things that you shouldn't read. And only so much can be learned from other people, because there are things we can't say. We

all live by the same laws, though, and it will be best for everyone else if you don't bring up things that are supposed to be forgotten.

That's why you came to talk to me, isn't it? You want to know what they've left out. Yes, I know there are holes in their stories. Mine,

too. It's only because they've ordered it. You always were smart, just like Momma. Clever and curious. Too curious, said some. Too

clever, in my opinion. You found the hole in the web that has caught every other fly, and that counters society. It jeopardizes everything

they've worked so hard to build. They won't let you get away with that. For you they'll make a special web; they'll draw you in until they

have you trapped. By the time they get through with you, all the life will have been sucked out of you. You won't know yourself by the

time they finish with you. That's what happened, you know. Your Momma tried to fly once, but she ended up on the ground, broken.

That was just after you were born, just a year before she was retired. Do you even remember her now? I'm sorry you never got to know

your momma like I knew her. She was a great woman.

I was lucky to be matched with someone as good as her. You remind me of her, you know. Even that smile you're wearing now was

taken right off of her face. See, in that picture over there? No, behind that one. I keep it hidden, but I think it's time you saw it. In a few

years, that girl will be you. I want you to know who you'll become before then. You have to be prepared.

Don't give me that. What's wrong with the picture? Yes, you'll be matched. You have to be. We all are. I know it's not your choice, but

it's not completely spontaneous, either. The matching committees know what they're doing. Look how happy I was with your momma!

And she was every bit as happy as me. And then we had you, which was such a gift. Two people such as us didn't deserve a perfect

daughter. But I've always wondered if you were our chance to atone, in that we had to keep you from developing flaws. I've tried my

best, you know, and I'm happy with how you've turned out. You're an asset to society. You'll be great someday, no doubt about it.

Oh, mi hija, you never cease to amaze me! That is true, there are different kinds of greatness. But surely it's not hard to figure out which

kind you want? You want to be known as someone who saved humanity, no? Like Ms. Janssen. Yes, she's a fine role model for young

women. Older than I, and she still has everything under control. Did you know that before she saved us, a woman never would have

held such a position of power? Can you even imagine? I don't understand it. She's good at what she does.

And then there is the other side of greatness, the one no one wants. Infamy. You still learn about the ones who fought us, don't you?

Good. It shouldn't be forgotten. They want to make sure that no one fights ever again, and the ones on the other side are prime

examples of the consequences of fighting. No one wants to end up like any of the fighters, even The Nameless Ones. What are they

telling you about them these days? Yes, that's right. Six of them plus an army, that's how I remember it. Selfish, arrogant, and obsessed

with doing what they believed was right. It's funny, isn't it, how they were so wrong in the end. That's why you must never be too sure

of yourself. Question anything you think of by yourself, because it could be biased. You must trust the things learned long ago, because

they have been proven by time. It's funny how much we can misguide ourselves. But where were we?

Ah, yes. The Six. The ones who wanted to bring us down. Or, I suppose, the ones who didn't want their system to be brought down.

What did you say? You learned they were murderers? I always thought they didn't kill, not if they could help it. I recall thinking that their

intentions were good, even if they didn't understand what they were fighting. I guess I just remembered things wrongly. It's hard, you

know. Everything just slips out after a time, or becomes mixed up with everything else.

What else have they told you? That they started the war? Well, I suppose that's true, depending on how you look at it. But every war

must have two sides, remember that. In a way, their war is always being fought, no matter how small their troops. You are a perfect

example of that. It's the thirst for knowledge against the will to survive. The quest for discovery versus the establishment of peace.

Nothing comes for free, you know, and we have to give up some things to survive as we do.

Do you learn about antonyms anymore? Oh, good, then you'll understand me when I say that they teach them wrongly. What would you

say is the antonym to stability? Instability, that's right. But the antonym to stability is really freedom, because you can't have both at the

same time. Knowledge is just another word for freedom, when you think about it, because it is the things we know that cause us to

search for new liberties. So, when you look at the big picture, is a bit of knowledge that high a price? The information isn't really lost,

either, it's just concealed. They have many great books in the Capitol, I've heard, rooms full of things that humankind has learned. And

slowly they read through the books, learning and analyzing what has been learned. Then they release to us what they can without

threatening stability! It will take a long time for anyone to get over the fears of corruption and chaos. The government, our proof that we

are a stable country, confirms and maintains our stability.

That's what you could help with, Maria. You could go in and read their books and help decide what needs to be known and what should

be kept quiet for a bit longer. In such a way, you could ally those forces; your thirst for knowledge fulfilled and peace established by the

secrets you hold. It would be a dangerous job, mind you, but you never worried about risk. You were always impatient. I think you got

that from your mother, too. But be careful that your rashness doesn't lead to downfall.

There you go again, sighing like that. What do you mean by it this time? We've already talked for a while and I've said more than I

meant to. Still you want to know more, though, because you are always questioning. It's a miracle that the government hasn't come to

arrest me yet. It would probably be better if they did, you know. I wouldn't mind it unless they started to punish me, and I don't think

they would do that. I never intended to say most of what I've told you, but the words pushed their way out. If they took me somewhere

and locked me up for the rest of my days, I'd be fine with it. I am freedom; therefore, I threaten everything Ms. Janssen has worked so

hard to build. Yet another reason I need to be retired. I'm forgetting the rules of society, and endangering us all. So don't repeat

anything that I've said. You can't let everyone hear my thoughts. It would get you in trouble and it would get the world in trouble again.

I couldn't bear to have that on my conscience.

Go to bed now. You've learned enough for one night. I answered more of your questions than I needed to. Go. Oh, what now? I didn't

answer your first question? Child, I don't remember it anymore. You'll have to write these things down if you want to have them all

answered, because your list never stops growing. A person can only remember so many things. But you're not about to be deterred, are

you? All right then, what do you want to know? My age? You know it's considered very rude to ask people how old they are. Yes, that's

true, I am your father. I guess you do have the right to know. Very well, then, I shall tell you if you promise to go to bed when I'm done.

Does that sound fair? Good.

Sixty-four. I'm sixty-four years old, twenty-four years older than I should have been. Nineteen years older than I was when your momma

expired. Yes, it's true; they usually do match up couples so they'll expire at the same time. But I was different. Certain things have to be

taken into account with people like Momma and I. I think they originally intended us to be retired when we were both forty-five, so I

would only have had five extra years. But then you came along, late in life. Later than they thought was possible. Later than is possible

now. Momma and I were both of an older generation, so we hadn't evolved as far as you have. But since you came, one of us had to

keep living, didn't we? I think it was intended that both your mum and I would have stayed with you, but then Momma went insane. So I

had to raise you by myself. Twenty-four years extra I have lived, and twenty of them now with a child. Let me tell you, each year lays on

me more heavily than that last. That's why I often treat you as if you're younger, though you deserve the respect of one who is almost

an adult. Compared to me, almost everyone is a child. I envy the young men on the streets who will be mercifully retired when their time

comes. We're simply not made to live this long, you know, and it's a struggle for me. It's hard to realize that I can no longer do even the

most simple of multiplication problems in my head. If I went to the gym or the training yard, I would be laughed at nowadays. When I

was younger, I had the respect of every boy and girl I ever met. Almost every one.

So live your life wisely, mi ami. You have twenty-five years left, and by the time you get to the end of them, it won't have seemed like

such a long time. Nor will it be appear that the years have gone fast; time refuses to be defined in that way. You will judge yourself on

what you've done and what you didn't do, so make sure you accomplish at least one thing you've always wanted. Make sure you also

find your place, or your years may be stripped away from you. You are too great a mind to be wasted. No matter what you do and who

you become, never forget who you are and where you came from. That's the most important thing there is.

Now, go to bed like you said you would. Daddy's tired too, and you've kept him up late talking. It's not easy for me, you know. You tire

of hearing that, but I feel that I must remind you often that not everyone is young like you. I think you started to understand that

tonight, though. These sixty-four years I've been given have been full, but somehow almost empty. I still wonder if my life has been a

blessing or a curse, and I'm still searching for the answer to everything I've done.