This is the first part of a two part story. It was only going to be a oneshot, but it was too long and i wanted some feedback about it before i started the next bit.

Not really in keeping with the show and not connected to any of my other stories at all. Enjoy :)

Disclaimer: I don't own anything remotely CSI NY related other than my DVDs sniff

Once Lindsay had walked around the corner, she collapsed against the wall. She had felt Danny's eyes on her as she walked away, and she tried hard not to stumble. She knew she'd hurt him, hell she'd hurt herself, but it was needed to be done.

But now she was fighting an internal battle. She knew that she couldn't be in a relationship with him until she'd solved all of her issues, but she also knew it was unfair to keep him in the dark. The poor guy had no idea what was going on, no idea why she couldn't be with him, yet he couldn't be sweeter, what with offering to help her, being there to support her.

Maybe she should just tell him.

But her logical part of her mind warned her against it. If he knew, if he knew what had happened, he'd know her most intimate secret. And Lindsay hadn't told anyone about it since she'd moved away from Montana.

She couldn't deny the chemistry between them, no matter how hard she tried to ignore it. Then, after the diamond heist, she knew she couldn't keep fighting. The feelings she was feeling, they scared her, she'd never felt anything like them before. And she could tell that Danny could be trusted, that she would be able to confide in him without him judging her. But still, she was wary about letting her walls down. She knew of his reputation - could she really lay her heart out on the line for him?

Running her fingers through her hair, she sighed, frustrated. Hauling herself off of the wall, she walked out of the precinct heading for her car. Every step she took, she was debating whether or not she should just tell him. The man deserved answers. But would she be able to give him them? So many questions, but no answers.

Once her shift was finally over, she headed back home. Sitting down on her sofa, she shifted, restless. The rest of the afternoon she had spent avoiding Danny, and most of the team knew it, although they didn't know why. They hadn't pressed her - she'd come to them if she needed to.

Now, as much as Lindsay was glad they hadn't tried to force information out of her that she wasn't ready to give, a small part of wished that they had pressed her. Maybe that way she'd be able to sort out what she truly felt about the whole thing.

Picking up her phone, she hesitated. She needed to talk to someone, but Danny was out of the question for now. Dialling the next number that came to mind, she waited until the other person picked up.

"Bonasera."

"Hi Stell. Are you still on shift?"

"No, I just finished up my paperwork so Mac let me have the rest of the night off. On call of course though." Stella's laugh immediately cheered Lindsay up.

"So what's up?"

Lindsay paused, but decided to go ahead with it anyway. "Erm, I was wondering if you wanted to come over. I'm having a bit of a dilemma, and I need some help."

Stella picked up on the uncertainty in Lindsay's voice, which intrigued her. Lindsay was always calm and she never let her emotions come through, so now, Stella was slightly worried about her friend. "Sure. I'll be about 20 minutes, depending on the traffic."

"Thanks Stell. I was going to order take-out, any preferences?"

"Chinese of course." Stella had heard the relief in Lindsay's voice and her curiosity increased. Whatever was bothering Lindsay must be quite important, otherwise she wouldn't have turned to someone else for help.

"Alright. See you in a bit."

"Bye."

Lindsay hung up, feeling slightly lighter than she had before. Picking up the phone once more, she dialled the number for her favourite Chinese in the city, conveniently located 3 blocks from her apartment. After ordering, she waited patiently for Stella to arrive.

True to her word, Stella arrived exactly 20 minutes later. Lindsay let her in, and after offering a drink, both women sat down on the sofa. Stella couldn't help but notice Lindsay's nervous energy - clearly she was unsure about where to start. Taking pity on her friend, Stella started the conversation.

"So, are you ok? You seem a bit nervous."

Lindsay blushed, looking down at her feet. "I did something really stupid Stell."

"Does it have something to do with Danny?"

Lindsay looked up, shocked. "How'd you know?"

Stella laughed. "Linds honey, after you two came back from the precinct, he looked a bit like an injured puppy. He barely spoke to anyone all afternoon, didn't laugh when Flack tripped over on his way in Mac's office and spent the rest of his shift in his office doing paperwork, which he hates doing."

A guilty look crossed Lindsay's face. "Oh."

"So what happened between you two that brought Danny down a peg?"

Lindsay blushed again, and her answer was mumbled in a voice barely higher than a whisper, so Stella had to ask her to repeat it.

"I stood him up."

Stella's eyes widened. "He asked you out? When did this happen? And why don't I know about it?" Her curiosity was barely disguised as excitement - she'd been rooting for the two to get together since Lindsay had started the year before.

"Erm…yeah. It was just after the Holly's case, you know, when I went undercover. I don't know why I didn't say anything…" Her voice trailed off.

"So why did you stand him up? You do like him right?"

Lindsay returned to looking at her feet. As much as she trusted Stella, she didn't want to tell her everything just yet, so she decided that for now, it was safer just to give a vague reason. The only person who knew about what happened in Montana was Mac, and she wanted to keep it that way for the foreseeable future. Well, she thought she did.

"That morning, I got a call from the prosecutors office in Bozeman. They want me to testify at a trial in a couple of months. And, it set me back a bit."

"How do you mean?"

Lindsay was silent for a moment, contemplating her answer. "The idea of returning to Bozeman brought back a lot of issues for me, and I didn't think it was fair on Danny to have to deal with them when he didn't have to."

"Did you tell him that?"

"No, I sort of gave him the 'its not you its me' line." With that, she buried her face in her cushion in embarrassment.

Stella could tell that Lindsay didn't want to talk about whatever had happened in Bozeman, so she stayed away from the topic, despite her own curiosity. Before she could ask any more questions, the doorbell rang, announcing the arrival of the takeout. Lindsay grabbed her purse from her coffee table and headed towards the door. After paying and thanking the delivery man, she took the food into her small kitchen, indicating that Stella should follow her.

Once the food had been dished out, the women returned to their positions on the sofa. By an unspoken agreement, they didn't talk anymore about Danny or Lindsay, instead talking about their cases - why the boyfriend had killed the ice princess, how the marathon runner had died, etc. They talked about Mac and Peyton, who were obviously trying to keep their relationship secret, but failing. They even talked about Sid and his bizarre stories that introduced some life in the world of the dead.

Eventually, talk drifted back to Danny. Lindsay was glad that she'd asked Stella to come over and talk - she would have tortured herself with what to do and even then probably wouldn't have decided a particular course of action. Stella was a good voice of reason, and since Lindsay had come to New York, they had become firm friends.

Which is why she trusted her to help her make a decision.

"So, you stood Danny up, what, last night? But you two seemed fine whilst you were working on the case, so why did he suddenly change?"

"He kinda cornered me after we wrapped up the case. And I had to tell him I couldn't be in a relationship with him. God, even thinking about it makes me cringe."

Stella patted her on the back comfortingly. "Maybe you should just tell him the truth. Maybe you should just tell him what you told me. Look, I know there is more to the story than you are letting on and that's fine. You can tell me whenever you're ready. He doesn't have to know the whole story. But just let him know at least part of the reason why you're holding back."

"But what if he doesn't understand?"

"Linds, trust me when I say that he will. He has had some difficult times too. And the fact he didn't run away when you stood him up, the fact that he hunted you down to find out why shows that he really wants there something between you. Look, I've known him a long time, and I've seen him go through lots of girls. But since he met you, he's been different. He hasn't been on as many dates, and he talks about you a lot. Besides, he looks at you differently to the way he looks at other girls, He's much more interested in getting to know you rather than what you're like in bed, although I'm sure he's thought of that too." Stella joked. "I think he'd be understanding if you were just willing to talk to him. Which might be a big step, especially if you haven't talked about what happened much. But it would be worth it."

She paused, letting Lindsay absorb what she'd said. The truth was, nobody really knew who the real Lindsay Monroe was. So she couldn't tell whether her words helped or not.

"Just give him a chance. And if he fluffs up, let me know and I'll beat him up." Both women started laughing, knowing that all the men in the lab were scared of Stella - she could be very scary when she wanted to be.

Lindsay sat in silence for a while, before making her decision. "Ok Stell. I'll talk to him. I think we both have tomorrow off so I'll go and see him then. Though I won't mention that you might beat him up. Might put him off coming to work for a while."

"And we can't have that, Mac would go mad."

Lindsay breathed a sigh of relief that she's decided to do something. Danny had offered his support, and now she was going to take him up on his offer.

Good? Bad? I know this one had Stella in it, but it will become DL in the next chapter i swear XD