This is the diary of Gemma Doyle, it will not have any dates, but if you have read the books it basically goes through and explains Gemma thoughts and feelings. This is just a rough draft so if it has mistakes, I'm sorry.
Disclaimer: I do not own these Characters they belong solely to Libba Bray.
My sixteenth birthday, not exactly the happiest day of my life. Mother is… dead! I can barely write the word let alone think about it. I saw it, I saw her die before she was even dead, in this strange sort of vision. It was like I was her shadow, following her, but I could not do anything. I could not scream our, or stay her hand. The last thing she said was "Gemma", my name, even thinking about makes me want to cry. I saw the Indian man that had bumped into mother dead as well, it was horrific. There was this dark creature, I have no idea as to what it was, I just can't stop thinking about it.
I cannot help but wonder what the man's brother is thinking right now. The man's brother caught me when I had the "vision", and when the "vision" ended he tried to get me to tell him what I had seen, he knew that I had some sort of "vision". How could someone know that? Yet, I still wonder if he grieves as I am right now, perhaps he too is writing in his journal about today's most grievous events.
I don't think that I can write any longer, I think that I shall go and comfort father and well honestly myself. I need someone to hold me, to tell me that everything is all right and that it is not my fault.
Two months later.
It has been quite some time now since I have last written, it seems like forever. Mother's funeral took place and now we are here in England, the one place I wanted to be most and now most dread. The family decided to say that mother died of cholera, a most convenient cover up for a suicide. English society does not think highly of suicide, it is the most disgraceful way to die, and it shames your family. Why do we have to cover up the truth? Why do women have to be considered lower than men? We are expected here in London to pay visits to women who make weak tea and serve stale biscuits.
I have been sent to Spence Academy for Girls, not the homiest place on earth, but it is what mother wanted for me if she should die. My roommate is a scholarship student by the name of Ann Bradshaw; she is the plainest girl I have ever met. After dinner I saved her from Felicity Worthington, the daughter of the auspicious Admiral Worthington and Pippa Cross, the daughter of yet another wealthy patron. Ann's attempt to make friends almost cost her what little of a reputation she has.
I had a vision on the way here, I think that I scared the wits out of Tom, he is ever so annoying, He pretends that he really believes that mother died of cholera and that I should as well. These visions seem so natural for me, as though I was supposed to have them.
I don't know why I even decided to listen to what Felicity and Pippa suggested, steal the communion wine from the chapel. What a grand way to make new friends. How stupid could I have been? Well, when I entered the chapel they locked me in, so I being the brave one walked toward the alter when I heard a cough and I was sure that I had not coughed. I started running and something flew over head and landed just in front of me, blocking my escape. I was pushed against the wall, I bit the hand that held me and was unceremoniously dropped to the floor. I got up and attempted to run when a hand snaked around my ankle and a voice croaked "Stop, please". I knew that voice…the boy from the market back in India, I could never forget his voice. He is in my dreams, with those perfect lips and curly black hair.
He has told me not to allow any more vision, he said that they will bring something bad, but he would not say what. He knew my name… he knew my name. How could he have known my name? I did get one bit of useful information… his name…Kartik. He left me there in the chapel; I quickly left the chapel after grabbing the communion wine. It might come in handy for some blackmail.
I have found the diary of Mary Dowd, whoever that might be. I had a vision and the little girl from the ally on the way to Spence showed where to find it and that Mary Dowd wanted me to have it. I stayed up after returning to Spence to read some, it turns out that Mary Dowd was a sixteen year old girl in a boarding school with a dear friend by the name of Sarah Rees-Toome. Overall a complete bore. Yet there is something vaguely familiar about that handwriting and the style in which it was written. I simply cannot put my finger on it.
I fear that something is happening to me, something is changing in me. I don't know whether or not to run from it. And because of that I may never know.
The Next Morning
Morning came all too soon for me. Ann woke me saying that we were going to be late for breakfast and that it would be no good if we were late. After Ann figured out where I had gone last night, which she could not believe they have continued to use the same trick. As I walked out my door I ended up walking right into Felicity and Pippa. They asked if I had a good time and how I had gotten out of the chapel, I simply responded that I have hidden powers. They asked if I had come into possession of the communion wine and where it was hidden. I then promptly told Felicity that I had not hidden it as to the fact that it may become lost and that would be terrible. I told her that I had put it in plan sight in front of her chair in the great hall. She shrieked and ran ahead to beat everyone else to the great hall.
After breakfast I joined the other girls in my class in Madame LeFarge's French class, I have now found that I am positively dreadful at French. I had hoped that Felicity would falter, but her French is flawless. In Miss Moore's drawing class, I find myself most at ease. She decided to read us, "The Lady of Shalott" and then show us her rendition of the scene. The discussion she provoked was filled by girlish fantasies and romantic ideas, exactly what our families want to be thinking about and not having any part in them. She has also promised to take us to the caves in the woods by the school to look at the pictographs that have been there for centuries. That should be quite interesting.
Several Days Later
I went outside for our break during the day to get some fresh air and to read more of Mary Dowd's diary. I sat down and started to read and soon I saw something…mother. She had said" Find me if you can" and began to run. I chased after her and her dress got caught on a branch , I tucked it into my bodice and continued to pursue her, when I came upon a small clearing and then she was gone.
I came upon the lake where the boathouse stands and I heard girlish giggles from the other side of the boathouse. I hide behind a tree and peered around the trunk carefully and saw Felicity locked in an embrace with a gypsy. There are only two reasons for a secret meeting like this, a secret wedding or something completely foreign to me that I cannot bring myself to write here due to the fact that it still makes me blush. I stepped out from behind the tree and startled Felicity and myself. She jumped away from the gypsy, whom I now know as Ithal. Ithal tried to pull Felicity back into another embrace, but she pushed him away. She told him to leave her alone and go, but he being the stubborn gypsy he is, he refused.
Then we heard Mrs. Nightwing and some of the girls calling our names. I asked Felicity if she wanted my help, I told her that she would be in my debt and she agreed. I then promptly shoved her into the lake. Where she shrieked and sputtered. Ithal still would not leave Kartik shows up all of the sudden and spoke to Ithal in halting Romani. He and Ithal turn and start to walk away. Kartik then turned around to look at me and I gave him a nod in thanks and he returned it with a curt nod of his own. Felicity was completely enraged about the fact that I had just shoved her into a freezing cold lake.
When Mrs. Nightwing finds us she is completely astonished and then she sees Felicity and appears to be quite worried. She asks what happened and the only lie that I can come up with is that Felicity and I had decided to take the boat on the lake and that Felicity had looked over to far and had fallen in, quite on accident. Mrs. Nightwing believes and tells us to be more careful next and for me to take Felicity in to get dried off. Pippa comes up to Felicity asking what really happened, Felicity says that what I said is completely true and that there is nothing else. Maybe something good will come from me helping her.
Something Felicity said made me go completely shaky, the scrap of mother's gown that I thought was just part of the vision was still sticking out of my bodice. It was real, it was real! What does this mean, is mother still alive?
That Night
After supper I pretended to have a headache and Mrs. Nightwing sent me to my room with a god-awful hot water bottle. I reached the outside of my door and heard a thump, which stopped me in my tracks, then I saw a shadow move along the floor and wall. Someone was in my room. I walked with my back along the wall and peeked in to the room to find Kartik at my desk. I rushed in and shut and locked the window. Kartik whirled around and I told him that there was only one way out.
I began to ask him all the questions that I could think of, including why he was in my room. He told me that he was doing nothing and then crumpled the note that he was obviously leaving me loud enough for me to hear. He told me to tell Felicity to keep to her own kind and stop toying with Ithal. When he asked to leave, I told him not yet and he then promptly pinned me against the wall and began rambling about how he is a member of the Rakshana and that they have been around for centuries and the realms, it all seemed so foreign to me. Even after telling him that I saw my mother and his brother in a vision he tells me hat they are dead and that it was not them. How can it not be them? I saw them with my own eyes.
He told me that the realms must remain closed, but I still have no idea what the bloody hell the realms are! What are the realms? Is that where mother is? And Amar?