This is a oneshot dedicated to those who are under going or have under go a long and painful first love. This is how things are going for me,just a little different...sigh Let's get on with the story!!
"I know it from the bottom of my heart,I am no longer in love with you nor hoping for you to come to me. I have given up longer ago... But...it has become a habit..that I can't break..."
I closed my eyes and cuddled myself into a ball. Sitting on the cold floor,shrouded in darkness,I listened to the raindrops which hit onto the ground and window. I like how it sounds,only on days like this would I be left alone. But as much as how I love this days,I hate them as much too. For on such days...my mind was left free to roam,to go insane.
I took a deep breath in,trying to calm myself down and shut everything out. But it was useless,his eyes,his smile,his voice,everything about him keep running through my mind with control. I felt as if my mind isn't mine anymore.
To be thinking of him,to be missing him has become a habit,a habit that I could not break. I am always questioning myself though,is this a habit that I could not break or is it because I do not want to break it? My heart tells my that I am no longer in love with him but it also refuse to let him leave my heart and mind. I laughed at myself,it is ironic,I am tearing myself apart,preventing myself from taking another step away from the past.
I looked at my phone and mentally slapped myself. What am I waiting for? For him to call? I feel so pathetic and helpless,I know very well that he will not call but I am still waiting. I looked at the time,11:59pm. This is the last time,if he does not call or message,it just means that I mean nothing to him and I will give up this time...
I clenched my fist as I begin to count down in my mind,10..9..8..7..6..5..4..3..
(Suddenly,phone rings)
I pick it up hastily and open the message with trembling hands.
"Happy 16th Birthday,Mikan.
Love,Natsume."
It was just a simple happy birthday,but it filled my heart with limitless happiness...and pain. Guess I will not be able to break my habit in the near time...
"Cheers and boos,Mikan..."I whispered to myself, "To your 16th Birthday and...your 10th year for falling for that idiot..."
It is the end! Short and a little bored,I know. Please don't flame!! Please review though!
Lastly,I hope everyone's love will blossom with the one they like!!