Chapter One
Cotton Batting
"And then there's the Gala celebratin' your first year as a successful business man, Oncie." said Isabella, the Onceler's mom. "So, we need to find musicians to play at the Gala. And not that old, fuddy duddy elevator music either. Something new, something no ones heard yet." she added grandly, enjoying using big sophisticated words.
"Like what I used to play, before starting the Thneed business? That can be arranged." Onceler said, leaning back in his chair. "But where are we going to find a band on short notice?" He looked at his mother, she looked at him, neither noticed Onceler's personal assistant quietly send a text message, only to get one in return.
The ring tone was an interesting song, and drew attention to the assistant.
"I should get that, shouldn't I?" she asked in a tiny voice.
"You shouldn't have it on." said Isabella disapprovingly.
"Who wrote that song Ms. Batting?" Onceler asked, in great interest.
"A local band. I know the male lead and he harasses me into listening to them. They play at the old Club every weekend. They would be free to play the Gala." said Cotton Batting.
"Set it up then." Onceler said brightly.
"Now hang on a minute Oncie dear. We can't just take a chance on a band that only a personal assistant knows about. Perhaps a back up band just in case hers doesn't work out." Isabella said, giving Cotton a cool stare. "Now sweetie, we need a back up just in case…"
"Just in case my friend, that I've known since birth and has never before let me down, flakes out and ditches the Gala. Sure, I'll book another band as back up. It's so confidence inspiring to know that you think so much of other peoples abilities." Cotton said so smoothly sarcastic that it went over Isabella's head, and earned her a questioning glance from Onceler.
Cotton pasted a fake smile on her face and left the room to make the arrangements.
"That girl is so irritating Oncie. Perhaps you should consider getting a new assistant. A tall one. Or one who's better looking than her at least." Isabella said, loud enough to be heard by Cotton.
"All the others weren't nearly as good at the job as she is. They all thought it was secondary to being seen with me." Onceler said uneasily. He was well aware of why his mother wanted him to replace Cotton.
Cotton didn't bend over backwards for his mother, and she was focussed on her job, not trying to get a settlement from his lawyers over harassment of any kind. Isabella was trying to set him up with any girl she thought was good looking. Tall enough to tower over even him and vapid enough to be pliable and easy to control by her. Cotton, however, just snorted inelegantly, whenever he had a lunch date with one of the women his mother threw at him. After a few minutes, Isabella left Onceler's office. Onceler sighed and sat back in his chair, it was always draining, having his mother and Cotton in the same room, the snide comments from his mother and the sly sarcasm from Cotton, was fun, but he'd have to do something about them eventually. Perhaps after the conference call board meeting this afternoon.
Cotton sat at her tiny desk, going through the paperwork for hiring a band, and listening to her tiny personal music player. Often she'd sing along, though no louder than under her breath. She didn't notice Isabella impatiently tapping her toe behind her. A loud, very unladylike throat clearing made Cotton almost jump out of her skin.
"What madam?" Cotton started to snap, then realized who was with her. "What can I help you with madam?" she asked, trying to remain polite, even though she wanted to slap the superior smirk off Onceler's mom's face.
"I may not be a big city girl, but I know what you're trying to do with my son." Isabella said narrowing her eyes at Cotton, who looked at her blankly. "My Oncie is a good boy; he wouldn't be caught dead with a girl like you."
"You mean a hard working, mind on her job and not in the clouds, girl like me? One who isn't trying to be his baby mama and squeeze every nickel she can get out of him? One who actually respects herself enough to not be intimidated by his family? A girl who wouldn't be caught dead with a mother in law like you?" Cotton asked acidly, this was the only time she could get away with speaking her mind to Onceler's mother, because the horrible woman was too short sighted to bring along a recording device because she thought they were trashy and because Cotton used one at board meetings. "Madam, I do respect your son. I even had a slight crush on him when I first started working here. You want to throw super models at him, go ahead. I'm a grown woman, I'm not so easily hurt seeing him with other women. I got over him ages ago. So if that was your only angle, I'm sorry, but you're out of luck on that one." Cotton said with a smirk.
"You're fired!" Isabella said shrilly.
"You aren't my boss and you didn't hire me. You have no authority over me and therefore you cannot fire me. And besides, it's too close to the Gala to fire the one person who actually knows how to plan these things. So, if you'll excuse me, I have real work to do." Cotton said with a smirk as Isabella spun and stomped away. She knew there'd be retribution eventually, but there was the board meeting to get through in a few minutes.
Onceler watched as his mother paced back and forth in front of his desk, ranting about his personal assistant. He thought privately, that Cotton was the best p.a. he had ever had. Even though she'd only been with the company for two months. He was also sure that his mother was exaggerating horribly about the conversation she had with Cotton not ten minutes ago. Cotton was so soft spoken and quiet, that what his mother was claiming, was border lining on hilarious, it was so obviously untrue.
"Mom, look I have to go to the board meeting. I'll have a talk with Ms. Batting afterwards. That's all I can do at the moment." Onceler said, hoping it was enough it appease his mother for a while. At least long enough to let him get some sleep. His mother was not above using sleep deprivation to get him to cave to her demands. Onceler gathered up his notes and papers, and left to go to the boardroom. Cotton met him halfway and smiled at him.
"Ready, sir?" Cotton asked softly, she adjusted his shirt collar, straightened his tie and smoothed the lapels of his jacket. "I still say a man can not dress himself, no matter how old or successful he is." she added with a chuckle, Onceler smirked and went into the boardroom. Cotton, mouthy and insulting indeed, he thought to himself. Smart and a little sarcastic, sure, but his mother was making a mountain out of a molehill.
About half way through the board meeting, a video conference call no less and something unusual happened. The board members on screen vanished and the techs couldn't get the signal back. Then, with a fizz of static, a young man appeared. He was half-dressed, as far as Onceler could tell, and was sitting on a kitchen counter top. He was also speaking to someone behind his camera.
"…We on? Hello? Can you see me? Can you hear me?" asked the man with a bright grin, which reminded Onceler of a child and too much suger. Onceler nodded and stared as the man picked up a piece of cake. "Mmm. Good cake. Cotton, you make good cake."
"You know this person, Ms. Batting?" Onceler asked, turning to look at Cotton in confusion. She looked ready to faint or commit murder and Onceler couldn't decide which was going to win anymore than she could. The young man called his attention away from Cotton.
"So, Mr. Onceler, my friend there has told me that you have decided to hire my band for your Gala." said the young man with a grin and anther bite of cake.
"Henry Wiggins, why are you in my kitchen? Why are you eating cake in my kitchen?!" Cotton demanded nearly hysterical, then her blood ran cold. "Are you eating cake, in my, kitchen, on my counter, in your underwear?" she asked in a frigid tone, earning a look of surprise from Onceler.
"Of course, I'm not in my underwear." Henry said with a wicked grin. 'I'm eating cakey and I'm nakey!" he sang making the cameraman laugh.
"Henry! I make food on that counter! Henry!" Cotton shrieked at the screen. Onceler tried to keep his mouth shut, but a snicker escaped him, catching Cotton's attention, he quailed slightly under her glare, before she turned back to the screen. "Henry, you are dangerously close to being found dead in a ditch outside of town. If you want to live long enough to perform at the Gala, you will turn off the hack and allow us to continue our real job." Cotton growled through a frozen grin on her face.
"I only called in to give a live preview so your boss knows just what he's getting into." Henry said, with a bright smile at Onceler. "So, has Cotton told you anything about our band?" Henry asked, as he helped himself to another slice of cake.
"Our band?" Onceler asked blankly.
"Yup, she's our lead singer. She's one of the best." Henry said proudly. "She's also written most of our songs." Cotton sighed and put a hand to her face, covering her eyes.
"Henry, if it hasn't happened already, I'm going to lose my job because of this stunt. That isn't going to get you any more leeway from your inevitable death due to strangulation." Cotton almost hissed as she circled around the monitors.
"Hey now. Cotton, don't go doing anything you'll regret come the weekend." Henry warned good-naturedly. Cotton froze and glared at the screen. Henry grinned, then watched in confusion as Cotton's eyes widened and she grinned evilly.
She pulled out her cell phone and turned her back to the monitor.
"Yes sir… no actually I was just speaking to Henry…He hacked into a board meeting and may have cost me my job…yes sir. No, he is in my kitchen, eating my cake, and sitting on my counter, naked… Yes, again. Well, it was nice speaking to you sir. Bye bye." Cotton said quietly, and hung up her cell phone. She turned to Henry and grinned evilly.
"What did you do? Who were you talking to? Cotton? Cotton answer me…Why is General Dad calling me…Cotton you called my dad?!" Henry almost shrieked as his cell phone rang. Cotton sat in her chair and looked fairly pleased with herself.
"You called his dad?" Onceler asked quietly, leaning over the arm of his chair to whisper to Cotton, as Henry talked to his father.
"I called General Wiggins and told him what his wayward youngest son was up to without my help. Turns out, the good General Sir can deal with his son being in a band and being of questionable sexuality, but he can't deal with his boy getting into trouble without a good reason." Cotton said, settling down with a satisfied look on her face.
"And what would a good reason be?" Onceler asked, Cotton's grin turned into a smile as she looked at him.
"Trying to get me out of all that trouble." Cotton said with a laugh.
"Cotton, you're a horrible person!" Henry wailed dramatically. "Has she told you about how she wants to be a world renowned singer and have you fund that career?"
"Henry!" Cotton snapped, appalled.
"And, and, she has like the biggest crush on you ever." Henry said quickly and grinned wildly.
"Henry, you are going to die when I get my hands on you!" Cotton shrieked, just as Henry killed the connection and the screen went blank. "I am going to kill him. General Sir was right. I would wind up a homicidal maniac. An axe murderer, just long enough to kill and dismember and freeze all of Henry's parts before scattering him to the wind like confetti." Cotton ranted as she slumped in her chair, making Onceler look at her in confusion and a little fear at her ranting. She snuck a look at him, and he grinned at her.
"So, you have a crush on me." Onceler asked, a little flattered.
"Do I have to include you in my homicide plan?" Cotton asked acidly, but had to grin at Onceler when his grin only got bigger. "I did, before. Get ver yourself. Geez, what is it with men and needing to stroke their egos'?" Cotton asked with a chuckle. Onceler chuckled and then the feed was back on with the other board members.