AN:/ Disclaimer: Song: All Again For You by We The Kings i don't own it or Dan and Phil
"Honey, I'm home!" He calls jokingly and your heart flutters. You love his voice but you know you can never have him. He's your best mate; he doesn't like you like that.
You sigh and try to face him, just one more time without pouncing on him. One more time without kissing those perfect, soft lips. You sigh and go greet him.
"Hey, where are you going?" You ask because he's hurriedly rushing around the flat trying to get dressed to be presentable.
"Out, I have a date with Jenna," He says using the blackened TV to fix his disheveled hair. You wish you were the reason his hair was so messed up…
"Who's Jenna?" You ask thinking she must be his whore of the week. Phil always had someone new.
"This girl I met… she's one of the AmazingPhil and Danisnotonfire fans." He says grabbing his cologne to spray some on.
"Oh have fun. Should I save you some dinner?" You ask to be polite, but inside your dying you can't handle him bringing another girl home. The walls are so thin and your beds are right next to the wall and you can hear everything that happens and you wish it was you screaming his name.
"No I don't know how late I'll be, don't wait up. Night Dan" He says grabbing the keys to his car and slamming the flat door with a loud bang.
You watch as his car leaves, peeling off down the street. You can finally break down now.
You sigh calling the only other person you can talk to when your sad; the only person who's not out fucking some random girl he hardly knows when he should be here with you making and editing other random videos.
"Hello? Dan Sweetie is something the matter?" Your mother asks a hint of concern filling her voice.
"No sorry mum, It's not too late to call is it?" You ask feeling nervous she will say it is. She's your life line; your best friend, she's the one who keeps you sane.
"No of course not what's on your mind loveling?" She asks you not as a mother would, but as a friend would.
You begin to tell her of the days happenings. When she starts with the "tell him how you feel" bullshit you get annoyed.
"Mum, I can't tell him, he's straight. Remember? Right now Phil Lester is out there with some girl He'll have sex with and never call again and I'm at home… alone." You said hiding the pain in your voice.
"I'm going to go find something to eat." You say hoping she'll accept it. "Love you mum," You say hanging up with a click so loud it reminds you you're alone.
You decide to make something to eat no sense in letting yourself go hungry. You make Chicken Parmesan; there is enough for two but you eat it all. That's what you do when you're depressed, you eat… a lot.
Yeah so what if he's out wooing some girl, buying her pretty things, hugging her, kissing her. When he's done using her he will just send her home and then he'll play Sonic with you.
You turn on some music, whatever Cd was last played and turn it to the last played track. The last few notes of the song fade off and you instantly know it was Phil's favorite song; his favorite Cd. The second song begins to play and tears sting in your eyes.
I couldn't sleep last night
I walked alone
On the beach
Where we always used to go
When we couldn't hook up at home
Your mind flutters to the first time you met Phil.
I thought of you
And the time we jumped the fence
Both sides ripped down
We dove right in
And the cops chased us again
Then to the time you and Phil saw the matching pair of sonic boxers neither of you could afford to buy, so you stole them and ran from the cops.
When you were mine
You know
We had it all in front of us
You were the one
I was in love
But you always hurt
The one you lost
I couldn't get enough
Suddenly you think of the girl who broke your heart. Then of how long Phil let you cry on his shoulder.
You were everything
That's bad for me
Make no apologies
I'm crushed...
Black and blue
But you know
I'd do it all again for you
You remember the time your mum told you he was bad for you. It ended in tears.
Today, dressed up
In designer drugs
Dedicated to the one
I'll always love
The one who really messed me up
You never did drugs ever. But you and Phil did get drunk. Well, it was more Phil, and you kissed him. He doesn't remember it at all. You tried to forget too.
I let you take the wheel
And the driver's seat
Strapped in
So you get the best of me
Now what's left are the memories
The first time you ever drove it was Phil giving the instructions.
When you were mine
You know
We had it all in front of us
You were the one
I was in love
But you always hurt
The one you lost
I couldn't get enough…
The tears flowed freely and you couldn't stop them so you stopped the music instead.
You hear noise outside so you look out the window. Then you want to scream. It's Phil and his whore. You run to your bedroom and slam the door.
You hear the sound you hear almost every night. It's the sound of Phil pushing the girl into the wall right outside your door. Then you hear the sound of her small moan of satisfaction.
You can't help but let the sob you've been holding in escape through your lips. The sound of his door slamming shut brings fresh tears prickling at the corner of your eyes. His moan of ecstasy as she undoubtedly sucks his member brings you to scream into the big fluffy pillow you keep on your bed. The sounds of his head board banging into the wall cause you to find the pocket knife you had from when you went camping for holiday. Phil screaming Jenna's name causes you to bring the blade against the tanned flesh of your wrist.
Then you're sobbing uncontrollably. You can't stop now. You can't stop sobbing or bringing the blade across your skin. You can still feel the pain of everything else. It's not working. You switch to the left wrist cutting in vertical lines now. You can feel the blood draining from your body it's great. No more pain, no more loving someone who doesn't love you back, no more life.
AN:/ Heyy all I love dan and Phil and in no way shape or form would ever wish for Dan to do this! R&R Constructive criticism is welcome! Please no flaming me! Reviews help me to update so review damn it!