Don't threaten me with love, baby.
Let's just go walking in the rain.
She blames her genetics, really. Can a partiality for weather be DNA based? Maybe there's an extra allele for that – who knows? But despite living her entire life in cages of one kind or another (or perhaps because of this fact) she longs for rain. The damp, heavy air so thick with moisture it feels like every breath is hydrating.
She loves the moment just before the rain pours. The overwhelming scent of earth and moisture, the air hung heavy with electrical charge, building and building until something bursts and the rain washes away all that anxious build-up with a soothing cadence.
She even loves rainstorms, when every drop is a stinging punishment and the sky thunders and growls around her, flashing its displeasure. Sometimes a good hard rain is needed. A sharp shock to remind you of who and what you are. Other times, a gentler rain is all she needs to wash away the sins and mistakes of the past and begin again.
Either way, she makes it a life-long habit. It had rained right after she had regenerated for the first time, and that had felt healing in a way. Like she could let everything she had been – a scared girl, a weapon, a victim, alone, Melody – wash away as she studied new skin and felt a new face, damp with sweat, tears and rain.
So every so often, she longs for it. For the smell and scent of rain on her skin. And right now, she needs it. She inputs coordinates, a planet she'd discovered long ago that spends four months of the year in a rainy season, safe, alien-free and practically uninhabited. She just needs to move. Away from him because she hadn't known how difficult this would be.
He was giddy with excitement – it rolled off of him in waves of intensity, so bright, so new. So shiny, and it felt wonderful and so wrong all at once. Wonderful because – well, how could him looking at her like that ever not be wonderful? But wrong too because she could sense the newness of his feelings, he wasn't just in love with her right now, but in love with idea of being in love with her. Which she basks in – it is an intensity within him she had never really witnessed before, but at the same time she yearns to clutch at every minute that slips by. This newness – the next time she sees him he won't feel this way.
And that thought festers away within her, like acid on an open wound, bubbling and hissing away until she feels sick with it. She doesn't want it – doesn't want to think this way, doesn't want to constantly be counting down.
"River? Where are we going?" He strides up the stairs, screwdriver open in his hand and his coat off and shirt sleeves rolled up. "You know it'd be nice if you asked permission." He speaks seriously but his smile is bright and so new and her hearts ache with it. He is teasing her, flirting with her and she shakes her head quietly, looking down at the console as she blinks back tears. All she'd wanted was for it to last forever – it had been a long, long time as it was, but she is a selfish, greedy creature and she never wanted to hit this point. "River?" Concern laces his tone now and she takes a deep breath before smiling at him in reassurance.
"I just – it's a place I go to... to – I just needed to make a side trip." The Tardis lands silently and she flips the parking brake back on, stroking the console gently. His hand covers hers, and he pulls it from the console, pulling her toward him as he peers at her, worry written all across his youthfully ancient face.
"Talk to me, River." His other hand hovers over her hair for a moment before sinking down gracelessly, his fingers tangling with her curls there. Every time he touches her it is with a thin veneer of awe and wonder. She loves and hates and loves it.
"I just wanted to take a walk." She sighs the words out and he glances from her to the monitor with a frown.
"On an abandoned planet in the Vestra system? In the rain?" His fingers tighten in her hair and he tilts her head until she is looking into his eyes. "What's really going on?"
"Sometimes I need to escape time itself, my love. I just like it here. I like to walk in the rain." His brows knittogether and he stares at her for a long moment before leaning forward and pressing a kiss to her forehead.
"I never land on rainy days." He speaks as if to himself and she nods in agreement.
"I know. But you do when I ask. And I am. Asking." She stands on tip-toe and presses a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth. When she pulls back he leans forward, following her until his mouth claims her own and he pulls her closer in to him.
She sways toward him, because he really has gotten so much better at this in such a short time. His hand cups the back of her head, his fingers pulling just the right amount on the curls trapped around them. His other hand moves to her hip, pulling her flush against him and she moans. When they finally part, she is breathless, and she smiles up at him more genuinely this time. "Okay. Okay – we go for a walk in the rain. Might get a bit damp, but I'm sure I'll enjoy a good constitutional. Good for the hearts."
He's smiling, but in that stubborn way of his that tells her she can't talk him out of joining her. "Alright. Get your coat, sweetie."
He steps back from her and moves over to pick up his coat with alacrity, twirling on the spot as he pulls it on and waits for her. She takes his hand as they descend down the stairs and out the door. The rain is a gentle one, heavy enough to wet them through within minutes but not torrential. She stands for a moment, outside of the Tardis, her face tilted up as she sighs happily. She feels the ache within her ease away, and when his hand slips into hers, she is able to squeeze it gently and pull him along behind her.
She leads him into the forest, and the foliage is thick enough that they are surrounded by the sound of rain tickling the upper leaves, but they manage to stay relatively dry, or at the very least not any more wet. He doesn't speak, and she knows that staying silent is his way of asking her what's wrong and waiting her out. He knows her too well, even this early. The thought is like a warm blanket, wrapped tight around her hearts. "I'm sorry." She apologizes softly and he stops, tugging on her arm until she stops too. When she looks up he is frowning, his head shaking while he pulls her closer.
"Don't apologize, River. Not to me. Not to me." She can see it there now, underneath all that love – the brittle crust of guilt within him. She swallows as she thinks of it, because she doesn't want him to feel like that. To feel like this. She wants what she's always always wanted – him to be happy. She feels overwhelmed by her own feelings suddenly. What is she doing? She'd promised herself years ago – that she wouldn't do this. Wouldn't wallow. Wouldn't worry over minutes lost at the expense of moments currently happening. She wraps her arms around him, sliding her hands under his tweed coat and shivering as she moves in even closer.
"No, my love, I am sorry. I'm wasting time dwelling on things I can't change. And wouldn't even if I could." Her voice is quiet, and she presses her cheek to his chest. His hands stroke down her back and she attempts to move in closer, but they are as close as they can get at the moment.
"It hurts?" His question is hesitant, like he doesn't expect an answer or expects her to lie. It's his rules that they can't discuss his future and her past, but she's never ever lied to him about anything unless she had to. Never about how she feels.
"It's all happening faster than I expected." She leans back to look up at him as she whispers the words and his arms tighten around her.
"It's not over yet, for you River. There's still more to come. And you could stay. With me. For a while, this time. Have we ever travelled together?" He is wondering aloud and she smiles softly up at him, with an arched brow.
"You know I can't answer that."
"I'll assume we did. Maybe more than once – do you think? Well you don't think, you know, but I think we would have. I think I'd have you with me as much as I could. I want you with me, as much as I can." He is staring down at her intently, and his hand reaches up to stroke along her nose, tapping the end while she keeps smiling. "Especially now. I like this you, the one who knows more than me and lords it over me a bit."
"Oh I've always done that, even when I have not a lick of knowledge to hold over your head, Doctor. I still make you chase me." She grins properly now and he chuckles, his smile lop-sided and adorable.
"I can just imagine. River... I know we've not discussed it, and probably can't – but how much Timelord is in you?" She arches a brow at his wording and stares at him until he flushes, the tips of his ears a bright red. "No! Not like that. I mean – how do you age? Do you regenerate? Have you ever regenerated?"
She sighs softly, tilting her head back and pressing a soft open mouthed kiss to the underside of his jaw, just above his Adam's apple. His skin is cool and damp with the rain, and he tastes crisp and clean under her tongue. Her arms wrap around him, just a little bit tighter, so she can feel his bones against her bones. "I do regenerate, I have done. I did age, at first – but after my first regeneration I stopped aging within each one." She is tired of never giving him answers, and she always feels a small thrill when he asks questions that she can answer.
"How many – how old are you?" He slides his hands under her jaw and neck so he can tilt her head up to look at him. The forest around them is dappled with shadow and sunshine and there is still the rain, misting over them gently when it could. She feels drops against her cheeks and she laughs softly.
"Spoilers, honey. Some things should be a surprise, yeah? I'm not nice enough to give you the spotter's guide. Though you always see me anyway. Or you will do." She smiles and his fingertips brush against her face, tracing over her cheekbones and nose, brow and temples.
"Do you change your...?"
"Some things are always the same. Won't say what things, though." She grins as she teases him and he glares down at her.
"River Song, you tease. I... I quite like this you anyway. I hope it's not for a long, long time." She stills in his arms, the knowledge that this face is clearly the only face he's known... well. She hopes it lasted a good while longer too. Damn time travel. There was never enough time, despite all their tricks and cut corners and running. But she would run again. Run as often as he asked her to.
"I want to stay. For a while." She pulls back and laces her fingers through his, before turning back to the woods, her soul suddenly feeling lighter than air. A smile bubbles up and she grins at him brightly. She could run. They could run together, just like always. His answering smile is full of joy and she laughs.
They come to the edge of the forest again and she steps out into the gentle rain. They still have time. She'll just make it count. She is skirting a large puddle when she stomps particularly heavily and soaks him. By accident of course. The first time. The second time is because he is looking at her in shock, his pretty little mouth hanging open and it's rather adorable. She doesn't get a chance for a third time because he's finally been galvanized into action. His hands stretch out, reaching for her and she almost slips in her haste to back away. She dances just past his reach, and turns and runs, knowing without even looking over her shoulder that he is giving chase.
The grass is wet and the ground beneath it is muddy and she is almost expecting to slip at any given moment as she scrambles through the field with her lungs burning and her hearts racing, so when her foots slides from beneath her, it's almost no surprise at all. She hits the ground with a squelch and she laughs and braces herself because two seconds later he's landing on top of her, his hands gripping her arms and pinning them there as he leans forward and kisses her. His hands slide from her arms to her hips and she pulls her own hands up, burying them in his hair as she pulls him closer.
The mud against her backside is cold, and her hands are filthy, but she slides them down over his shoulders, gripping the lapels of his tweed coat as she arches up into him. She can feel him, the hard lines of his body meeting hers as she scrambled beneath him, while he continues to kiss her breathless.
She is gasping for air when he pulls back, letting his arms slacken as he lays more weight into her frame, sinking them deeper into the mud. His smile is brilliant and she smiles back because there is no other option. "I think maybe rainy day walks aren't so bad." He muses out loud and she laughs beneath him, pushing against his shoulders until he stands up and offers her a hand. She is covered in mud, she can feel it weighing the back of her jeans down while she laughs, and she grips his hands tightly when her feet slip a little more. "At the very least they lead to rainy day baths and I've a feeling I'm just going to love those." She smiles up at him smugly as they make their way back to the Tardis.
"Oh you do."