My first Sapphire Pair fic, dedicated to all Sapphire fans out there :3 This is also a part of Hetero Writing Contest/Event held on Hunter x Hunter fanfiction page (facebook) and Stories Galore forum.
Killua always acts strongly on the outside so I think it'll be good to expose Killua's weak side. I hope you'll enjoy it :)
Disclaimer: Hunter x Hunter and its characters belong to Togashi Yoshihiro. All right reserved.
Warnings This fic takes place on G.I arc, but there's a minor spoiler to the Chimera Ant Hell arc.
Moonlight
…
Killu.
Run, Killu.
"No…"
Leave that place at once. Don't expose yourself to danger.
"No, I'll never leave my friend behind!"
It's for your own good.
"It isn't. It's just a cowardly act!"
…
KIllu, listen to what I say.
"Go away! Just leave me alone!"
Killu.
"Someone, please, anyone… make this stop."
The boy's sapphire eyes shot wide opened. His heart pounded fast and his breath was unsteady as if there was a heavy weight placed upon his chest. Droplets of cold sweat covered his forehead. His white face was paler than it had ever been.
He looked around, scanning the surroundings. He was in a rocky terrain. There were several rock walls around him, one was behind his back. On his right side was his best friend Gon, who was sleeping soundly while holding onto a rope that was connected to a big boulder hanging several meters over his black head.
Killua's brain quickly gathered and proceeded the information. He was in Greed Island with Gon. Both of them were training under a young-looking old hag named Bisuke at a deserted rocky terrain which took place kilometers away from Masadora. They had finished that day portion of Spartan nen training ala the old hag and were now sleeping with big boulders over their head.
The silver head exhaled as he rested his back to the cold wall. He ran his left hand to his wet head.
'A dream… again. Such an annoying nightmare.' His lips formed a thin, mocking smile as he tried to forget fragments of the nightmare that were left in his mind.
A pair of black eyes was staring at him. They were cold and emotionless, like bottomless wells that had wanted to suck and drown him.
Killua shook his head. 'Forget it. It's just a dream.' He reminded himself. Nevertheless, that nightmare of his elder brother came almost every night.
It all had started on the night after his first fight with Binolt. He couldn't shook off the sensation of fear he had when the killer had almost cut his eyes and it haunted him in his sleep on the following night. At first it had been only a pitch black place, but then he slowly had began seeing his brother eyes and hearing his voice. The same dream happened again and again. It was very creepy. It was as if Illumi had been watching over him all the time.
"What's wrong?"
He heard a soft whisper and looked up. It was Bisuke. It seemed that he had waked her up, or perhaps, she weren't sleeping at all. He had never seen her sleeping ever once. He and Gon always slept first because they were tired from the training and when they woke up in the morning, she had already prepared their breakfast.
"Nothing. Just a nightmare." He replied as calm as he could, trying to hide his anxiousness.
She stood in front of him and examined the looks on his face. Even though he managed to speak calmly, there was a trace of cold sweat on his forehead that shone under the moonlight.
"Sounds like a dreadful one." She said.
"…yeah." He looked away, didn't dare to look at her in the eyes. Somehow he felt that she could see through him and he was uncomfortable with it.
"You've been sleeping restlessly lately."
His brows furrowed slightly. 'She knows...' He mentally noted.
"I guess I'm just tired." He lied. He closed his eyes. He hoped that by doing it, she would take her leave and mind her own business.
But he was wrong.
He could feel that she didn't move any inch from her place. Her stare pierce through his skin and got on his nerve. He started to feel uncomfortable and his body stiffed. He had to fight an urge to twitch his brows. This hag… why would she leave him alone?
He heard her clothes rustled. He wondered what she was doing right in front him, but he couldn't peek as it would blow his cover. He couldn't do anything other than to wait and wait. Those seconds felt like ages for him.
And then suddenly he felt something warm on his head. He slowly opened his eyes and saw her squatting in front of him. In her left hand was a glove, while her other hand was stretched out toward him and…
He blinked.
It took him a while before he realized what she was doing. She was petting his head with her bare hand.
"W- What are you doing?" Slight tint of pink appeared on his cheeks.
"You know," the girl smiled at him. "In the past, when I felt afraid and couldn't sleep, I would manage to feel safe and fall asleep if someone gently pets my head me like this."
"Was it…" he started hesitantly. "A story from a century ago?"
"Why you!" Her hand slipped down from his silver hair to the side of his face and pinched his cheek hardly.
"Ouch ouch!" He cringed from the pain and rubbed his cheek.
"I'm consoling you here. At least show some gratitude." She pouted.
"I'm not asking for it. Beside, your hand is wet. Isn't that disgusting?"
"It's your sweat. Dummy!" She huffed as she messed his hair.
He chuckled. Her saying was true. His eyes gradually become heavy as she petted his head again. The warmth of her hand drove away the fear from his heart. It made him forget about his nightmare. His consciousness slowly faded away as he entered a peaceful slumber.
Since then, every time he got woken from his sleep because of nightmare, she would calm him down, petting his head until he fell asleep. The frequency of the nightmares gradually become less often. He didn't really know why, but it was perhaps because he faced less dangerous situation lately. He didn't even see that nightmare anymore after he went back from the Hunter Exam.
However, those peaceful nights didn't stay forever.
A greater nightmare came right after his group got the #002 designated card, Patches of Shore.
In that dream, he got a vision of himself standing in front of Razor. The man threw the aura ball toward him. He jumped to the right, just like what he had done in the match. However, the ball changed its direction toward him. He didn't get time to dodge it. It hit him, crushing his ribs and internal organs.
You could've died.
Killua could hear Illumi's voice again.
The scene changed. It was the rocky terrain where he and the others usually stayed at. He looked around but he could see nothing but rocks. Suddenly, scent of blood came to his smelling sense. He looked at the ground and saw it was dyed with fresh blood. He stepped back and felt his feet hitting something. He turned around. His eyes widened in horror as he saw Gon and Bisuke lying on the ground. Their eyes were open but soulless. They were dead.
You might die this time.
A shadowy figure suddenly appeared in front of him. He wanted to run but his body couldn't move. The figure raised its hand and choked on his neck. A strange aura surrounded the arm. It was the bomber, Killua thought. The bomber had killed his friends, and now he was after his life.
You can't waste your life here, KIllu.
Illumi's voice echoed.
You should listen to me, otherwise you'll get killed.
Leave them.
Come back home.
Return to me.
"No.. No! No! NO!"
Killua forced himself to wake up. He opened his eyes widely, but his vision was all blurry because of the shock his brain underwent. He felt something coming toward him and he grabbed it with an immense strength as if he wanted to break whatever it was.
"Killua… KIllua, calm down. It's me." He heard a voice in his faint consciousness. He knew that voice.
"Bisu…ke?" He called out as he narrowed his eyes. Slowly his eyes started recognizing a figure with blonde hair and pink attires.
"Yes, yes, it's me," Bisuke assured. "Killua… Your hand…"
He came to realize that the thing he was trying to break was no other than her fragile-looking hand. "Oh, sor- ARGH!" He tried to release her hand from his grasp but then he felt an extreme pain came from his hand. He looked at his hand. It was covered with bandages. He forgot that it was severely injured.
"Tsk. You idiot." She clicked her tongue as she carefully held his hand with both of her hands and examined it.
He didn't reply because he was still overwhelmed with the pain. Nevertheless, thanked to it, now he was fully awaked. He watched her tended the bandages around his hand. He then noticed that her wrist turned red.
"Sorry…" He muttered.
"Nah, it's okay." She replied.
There was an awkward silence between them. He felt bad for what he had done to her, even thought it had been a pure accident. She must have approached him because she had been worried about him, yet he…
"Is it the nightmare again?" She asked, breaking the silence.
"Yeah…" For a while he had completely forgotten about his nightmare, thanked to the pain again, but now a cold sensation started to crept down his spine. He couldn't help but recalling the moment when he had seen her and Gon had died. He inhaled sharply as an image of her dead face came into his mind.
"It seems like it was a very bad one," she said. "You looked very restless and kept tossing around. It's the first time I saw you like that."
He bet he really had looked that bad. He wondered if he had even screamed in his sleep or not.
"Are you alright?" She asked in worry.
He saw her face. He shouldn't make her even more worried than she already was. He faked a smile and laughed off. "Of course. It's just a dream… Well, it felt quite real but it isn't real… It's not, right...?"
Again, the vision of her dying came into his mind. What if… What if it really happened in the future? What if she and Gon really died and he couldn't do anything about it? What if they died because of his cowardly act? What if he really left them to die, just like what Illumi wanted?
"I'm… not… alright at all."
Killua reached out his hands toward her. He wrapped them around her body and pulled her body closer to him.
"Wha- K- Killua?" She blinked in confusion. Her face reddened because he suddenly hugged her.
"Please, only for a while…" He buried his face to her shoulder. "Lend me your warmth."
Upon hearing his plead, she gently put a hand on his shoulder and the other on his head them patted him lightly. "Sure…" She softly whispered on his ear.
He took a deep breath and let her warmth surrounded him. Lately he found being around her really comforting. Both she and Gon were warm, but they were different. Gon was like a sun that brightened his day. Gon made him feel alive, even though sometimes that blackhead's liveliness became too hot and almost burnt him. Bisuke, on the other hand, was a quieter light. All she did was just being there, watching over him. Her radiance wasn't as strong as the sun, but it was enough to make him feel warm inside despite the cold night.
"I'm scared," Killua confessed. "I don't know what's going with me. There is a small part of me that want to do the last thing I ever want to do. I'm afraid that someday it will take over me. I don't want to hurt Gon… or you."
"It's gonna be alright," She said as she embraced him tighter. "If it's you… I'm sure it's gonna be alright." She pulled herself from him. She looked at him on the eyes and cupped his cheeks. "I'm sorry I can't be a great help, but at least I'll give you this," She moved her face closer to his then kiss him on the forehead. "A better charm so that you can sleep well."
"Thank you, Bisuke."
Once again, all of his fear and anxiousness disappeared.
She was like the moon; the moon that was there to accompany him the middle of the dark night. He wasn't afraid of the dark anymore because she was there for him.
There goes my head canon :3
If you're confused, Killua's nightmares have something to do with the needle Illumi planted inside his head.
I hope you enjoy it as much as I do. If you don't mind, please spare a minute or two to leave a review. I'd love to hear what you think about this fic.