BROKEN LOST ALONE
I wait while everyone else goes to class
I'm not in the mood for people just now
But then you come around the corner
And you walk over at once
And I can't pretend everything's ok anymore
I slump against the wall
My hands shaking as I clutch the strap of my bag
You reach out to me
Cradling the back of my neck of my neck in your hand
Your fingers buried in my hair
I can't look you in the eye
I'm afraid I'll fall under your spell
I'm afraid I'll tell you all my fears
I'm afraid you'll see me falling for you
Fallen for you
I'm afraid you'll see me as I truly am
Broken
Lost
Alone
You take my hands
Trying to stop the shaking
My whole body aches from suppressed sobs
I can tell you're trying to absorb some of my
Pain
But I can't let you
You have enough of your own
You don't need mine, too
But you're trying
And that's nice
It's been so long since someone held my hands
Since someone cared
Maybe I'll just lose myself in that
Feeling
Maybe for just a few moments
Maybe…
But no
I have to keep my guard up
I sneak a look up to your eyes
Pools of amber draw me in
Warm and knowing
"Moony…"
"Don't worry about them, Pads. They don't deserve you."
You cut in
"How do you…"
"I made Regulus tell me when I saw your… mother's… owl."
You spat the word with such disdain
It warmed me
It made me fall
Harder
Faster
You moved your hand from the back of my neck
Only to brush your knuckles across my cheek
I hadn't even realized I had started to cry
"I'm sorry, Moony."
Looking down
Ashamed
Long cool fingers catch my chin
Drawing my gaze back up
"For what?"
"For me being like…
This"
I look away
Broken
Lost
Alone
Thin arms encircle me
Your scent
Pine resin
Chocolate
Crushed stone
Surrounds me
And suddenly
You push all the fragments of me back into place
Fixing me
And suddenly
I know where I belong
"We're your family now, Padfoot."
You whisper into my hair "I… I love you."
I pull back so I can see your face
Your eyes
Pools of amber about to overflow
"I'll go now.
I'm sorry.
I…
Sirius…
I shouldn't have said…
I'm sorry…"
You're stuttering
Worried
Scared
Pulling away
I pull you back
Not thinking
Just acting
Mouth dry
Worried
Scared
"I love you, too."
A breathless half whisper
Moving slowly
Tentatively
To brush my lips across your cheek
I pull back quickly
Worried I went too far
Crossed the wrong line
But you twine your fingers with mine
And I know
That as long as I can see your eyes
Smell your crushedrockpineresinchocolate smell
Feel you near me
I would never be
Broken
Lost
Alone
Again
I actually took a much shorter poem about me and a crush and a crisis and turned it into this. All the stuff after "maybe…" is entirely new.