Disclaimer: Majin Tantei Nougami Neuro does not belong to me. This is a work of fanfiction done for entertainment, not profit. No copyright infringement intended.

Author's note: Just a cracked out idea that struck me one evening and I couldn't help writing it down. Beware of strange assumptions about the demon ways of flirting, potential OOCness and general weirdness. Based on the anime.

What was wrong with the despicable wood louse? Even with her inferior intellect the lowly dishrag should have realized it by now.

He wished this would be the type of mystery that he could devour. Regrettably, that wasn't the case. As far as his formidable intellect could tell, this mystery was inedible. Instead it was something that had to be solved by finding out the "motive" which required such things as "human insight". He obviously did not possess such a thing (being a demon and all), and that just served to piss him off more. Clearly, she was the one at fault here.

He was well aware that his pitiful little servant did not have the proper mental faculties to grasp even a hundredth of the knowledge he possessed, but even her inferior brain should have processed what was happening and reacted to it accordingly. Perhaps he was not being obvious enough?

Well, he had tried the subtle approach first: only the occasional tenderly violent grasp of her fragile little head, a wonderfully cruel hand to the back of her skull that made an adequate amount of impact, a delightful twist of her neck that sent her gaze in an involuntary 180 degree turn…

It did not seem to bring the message across. Maybe it had been too much to hope for, since the recipient of said message was plain dumb. Compared to demon senses, she was as good as blind and deaf too.

So he'd switched to less subtlety and more pain. The fact that she was forcing him to take measures in this way annoyed him but he supposed he could make an exception since he was dealing with a clueless little amoeba girl in the first stages of evolution. He'd thought that she'd finally figured it out after that whole HAL incident because he had been so blatant with his approaches, but that was not the case.

Clearly, he had overestimated the capabilities of her brain. Any normal demon female would have immediately accepted the obvious challenge and by now they would have entered the second (and infinitely more pleasurable) stage. Not that he wanted to brag, but in the demon world any female he showered with such attentions would consider herself extremely lucky. Slave Number One should have felt honoured and amazed beyond belief that he would lavish such attention on her insignificant self.

She was the first female of her weak but occasionally intriguing species that he had deigned to court.

He did not care why exactly she attracted him so much that he would choose to pursue her. Only the doubtful and the weak would question themselves. He was a being free of doubt and weakness. The only thing he obeyed was the satisfaction of his own desires, regardless of how those desired chose to manifest themselves.

However, she proved to be surprisingly resistant to his demonic charm.

Maybe she did not reciprocate? He brushed that ridiculous thought away the moment it surfaced. Impossible. If she didn't at the moment then he would make her. She was his to do with as he saw fit so it was certainly in his full right to make her do as he pleased.

Ah well, he supposed that he would just have to drive the point home with less sophistication because that was clearly wasted on her. Maybe throwing her into a trash can again would provide the desired response and there was that one extremely unpleasant armlock he hadn't tried yet.

A predatory grin stretched his lips. His little servant may be terribly innocent and stupid, but he had ways in which to rectify the first and use the second for his own amusement.

Across the office room Yako suddenly experienced a feeling of ominous apprehension. She discreetly glanced towards where her boss and tormentor in one person sat behind his desk. Immediately, she averted her eyes. He had been staring at her with such a look… She could not suppress the shiver that passed through her.

Yako decided that this must be how a young doe felt in front of a starving wolf. For some reason she felt like she was about to be devoured.

Note: Continued in "A Rare Delicacy".