Disclaimer: I own nothing.
A/n: I'm back, baby! Man, I love this story. Not because it was so fun to write the weed!dialogue in here, but I slashed my two absolute FAVORITE characters: Err/Emory. Ah, sidekick on sidekick love. How sweet.
Warnings: Heavy drug usage (though that's not really a surprise), and slash (obviously)
-OOO-
Igningknot and Err needed weed, and they needed it now. The problem was that they had no more, and the only two beings that did have some, were presented before them.
Igningknot sighed in frustration as Oglethorpe rambled on about how much better they were.
"Ve are vay smarter than yous." Oglethorpe puffed out his chest. "And ve are better! Vay better than yous."
Err growled from beside Igningknot. He curled his hands in rage, trying to keep his short temper in check.
Emory stayed silent beside Oglethorpe, as his partner ranted and raved, occasionally getting knocked over in one of Oglethorpe's flailing outbursts.
Err, on the other hand, had had enough. "CAN YOU JUST GIVE US THE DAMN WEED!"
His screaming knocked both Oglethorpe and Emory backward, crashing them into random odds and ends that littered their ship. Oglethorpe, visibly shaken, crawled back to the communicator. "Vell, vhy didn't you just say so?" His voice cracked as he spoke.
Igningknot snickered.
"What?" said Err. "I need my weed."
The Plutonians let down their docking bay to allow the Mooninites passage into their ship. Igningknot eased the ship inside.
"Finally!" Err shouted, as the ship hit cold, metal ground. He ran to the door, snatched it open, ran out, and . . .
...Ran straight into the Plutonians, barreling them over, almost causing Emory to drop the weed he was holding. Igningknot ran over, prying the smaller Mooninite off of the two Plutonians.
Err twisted in his arms, almost in a desperate attempt to escape.
"I think you need to lay off the weed," stated Igningknot, tossing Err to the ground, turning to negociate a deal with Oglethorpe.
Err scowled. "I think I need more weed."
Emory sighed, deciding to take pitty on Err. He walked over to the Mooninite.
"Hey," he began. "You want a hit?" Emory held up a ziplock bag, containing enough weed to make a couple of blunts.
Err's eyes widened, nodding enthusiastically.
"C'mon, I'll show you to the smoke room."
Curious, Err followed Emory to a large, spacious room at the other side of the ship. It was simple, with one luxurious, grand couch that stretched across the entire room. At the other end of the couch was a small window, showing the stars and galaxies out side and a small coffee table was placed in the middle. A large T.V. stood at the other side of the room, with a stereo beside it. It was dimly lit and Err found it quite cozy.
Emory led Err to the couch, where he began to roll the first blunt.
-OOO-
For a little less than an hour, Err and Emory had shared the blunt, passing it between the both of them. As Err hit the blunt more and more, he was steadily becoming more and more relaxed, and a relaxed Err was a scary sight.
"You know, I love you, man," Err slurred, passing the blunt back to Emory.
"Really?" Emory giggled, the effects of the weed, giving him a euphoric pleasure.
"Yeah."
"Really?"
"Yeah," Err repeated.
Emory blinked, silent for a moment.
"Really, really, really?" He giggled insanely before passing the pot to Err.
Err chuckled and took a long drag. He laid his head on the back cushion. A load "Woah" escaped him. Emory blinked blearily at Err.
"This couch . . . is a couch, right?" Err questioned.
Emory nodded. "Woah, man, you're so smart."
Err took another drag. "I know, right." He passed it back to Emory.
Emory took a drag and stared at the T.V. "Okay, that's a T.V. But why do they call it a T.V. when it doesn't have a T or a V on it?"
Err blinked. "That's deep, man. I never would have thought of that."
Err snatched the pot from Emory, throwing his arm around his companion's shoulders. "You know Em, we're one in the same, y'know? We understand each other."
"Uh . . . yeah!" said Emory, stupidly.
"We're like Ben and Jerry. I'm Ben and you're Jerry."
Emory nodded, then shook his head. "No, I'm Ben."
Err chocked on the smoke leaving his mouth. "No, you're Jerry."
"Why do I have to be Jerry?"
"Because it begins with a J," Err stated, matter-of-factly.
"Oh." There was silence for a moment. Then, realization dawned on Emory. "Hey, what's that-"
"Oh my god!" Err exclaimed.
"What?"
"Let's play truth or dare!" Err stated, excitedly.
"But we need a bottle," Emory drawled.
"Huh?"
"Yeah, to spin!" Emory nodded enthusiastically.
"No," Err drawled. "That's spin the bottle."
"Oh, well, let's play that!" Emory exclaimed.
"But, we need a bottle!" Err said, repeating Emory's earlier statement.
"I know!" Emory took the blunt, smoked a little, and placed it on the table.
"Oh my god, you are so smart," Err said in a congratulatory voice.
Emory stared blindly at the blunt for a while. "Now what do we do?"
"Um . . . Oh yeah! We spin it!" Err stated, proudly.
"Oh yeah." Emory spun the pot around, the lit end landing on the T.V.
"Haha! You have to kiss the T.V." Err giggled loudly, falling off the couch in his mirth.
"Seriously?"
Giggles were Emory's only answer.
Emory got up, wobbling slightly. He strutted up to the T.V.; laying a big, sloppy kiss on top of the glass screen. He staggered back to the couch, sitting heavily on the soft cushions.
Err was still giggling when Emory got there, albeit, quieter.
"What?" questioned Emory.
"You kissed the T.V." he howled.
Emory grunted and pushed the doobie toward Err.
"Your turn."
Err took a hit and spun it around. He watched as the smoke from the end spiraled around the tip. Finally, it stopped, lading on Emory.
"Oh, dude, that's just wrong," complained Err.
"C'mon, kiss me." Emory made a kissy face, pushing out his lips, making obnoxious, lip-smacking noises.
Err groaned, sobering slightly, starting to come down from his high.
"What are you, scared?" taunted Emory.
Err glared. "No."
"Yes you are."
"No, I'm not."
"If you're not scared, then why don't you just kiss me?" Emory crossed his arms, waiting with a cocky grin for Err's answer.
"Because I'm not gay!" exclaimed Err, acting like it was the most obvious answer.
Emory snickered.
"I'm not!" said Err, indignantly.
"Are you sure about that?" jeered Emory.
Err glared, taking another hit of the pot.
"Hey, give me some, I'm starting to sober," asked Emory, politely as he could.
Err ignored him, taking a long, deliberate drag, puffing the smoke into Emory's face; keeping the blunt as far away from Emory as he could.
Emory pouted.
Err simply dragged on the blunt, feeling the euphoric pleasure he was feeling earlier, seeping back into his veins.
"Fine. I'll make myself a new one. You're still a chicken, though." Emory dug into the ziplock bag. He located a piece of paper, and began to pile weed on top of it. He then rolled it up; snugly.
Err blanched. Not one called me a chicken. "Am not!" he protested.
"Then why don't you kiss me?"
Err narrowed in eyes. "Why are you making such a big deal?"
"'Cause I know you're just chicken."
"Okay, that's it!" Err lunged forward, grabbing Emory, and forcing his lips upon him, smashing their mouths together. Err felt, rather than heard, the distinct 'clank ' of teeth knocking together.
The 'creak' of a door opening, and the quick 'bang' of a quick close, broke the two apart. Both turned to see Oglethorpe and Igningknot standing their, mouths agape. Oglethorpe looked ready to explode with unimaginable fury. Igningknot looked ready to explode with uncontrollable laughter.
Oglethorpe ran over, dragging Emory until he was standing, and proceeded to lead him out of the room, berating him on the evils of kissing a Mooninite the entire time.
When the 'boom' of the door slamming shut echoed throughout the room, Igningknot seemed to come out of his trance-like fascination, and proceeded to explode with giggles and snickers.
Err huffed, leaning back into the cushions.
Igningknot calmed himself, looking at Err questioningly, looking suggestively from the door, back to Err, silently asking the question he couldn't bring himself to ask. 'What the hell was that?'
Err stood up, pointing accusingly at the weed, and shouted, "The weed made me do it!"
Igningknot snickered. "Remind me never to smoke with you ever again."
-OOO-
End notes: Eh, they get kinda OOC towards the end, but who cares? OH, and before I forget: I've decided to write a sequel (and POSSIBLY) a mini-series-type-thing to my pride and joy, Strange Feelings. If you haven't checked it out by now, go do it. I dare ya!And yes, this story was just a whole excuse to pimp the sequel(s) and to write weed!dialogue. Comment/Review. They make such a great couple.