"This is stupid, Brit!" Santana Lopez shouted up at the tall skinny blond clambering higher and higher into the oak. She crossed her arms stubbornly, "You're gunna get stuck up there and I'm not climbing a freaking tree to come help you." The girl frowned up into the branches above her, catching glimpses of pale limbs and a bright blue bikini through the emerald leaves. The pair had spent most of the summer lounging around the pool in Brittany's neighborhood and had been walking back to the girl's house for lunch when the blonde had spotted the tree. "Oh-my-gosh-San-lets-climb-it!" Brittany had breathed out, grabbing Santana's hand and dragging her towards the monstrous oak. Before Santana knew what was going on, she was there, staring up at the tree that they had walked past hundreds, maybe thousands of times without a word from Brit. Typical, she's always pulling me into crazy things like this. A little smile escaped momentarily onto Santana's lips before she remembered she was supposed to be pissed about this little stunt and bit her lip to hide the smile, although no one was looking.
Just then a breeze picked up and the chill in it reminded Santana that a new school year would soon start. She scowled at the thought of another year back at that same stupid middle school, with the same stupid rules and the same stupid kids. At least Brittany is in some of my classes this year. That might make dealing with another year bearable. Maybe I'll even be able to stand that oaf, Finn Hudson.
She sneered at the thought of Finn as she remembered the last day of 7th grade. She had made him cry. That goon Noah Puckerman had dared him to kiss Brittany and he had tried to put the moves on her by her locker after lunch. By chance, Santana had rounded the corner into the locker bay just as Finn was leaning in for the kiss. Brit, looking confused and scared, was trying in vain to push away tub-of-lard Hudson. Santana hadn't even known Brittany well at the time, but she had beat Finn Hudson's ass real good that day. After he had scampered away, crying, Brittany had tackled Santana in a giant hug. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" this blonde girl burst out, still embracing a thoroughly uncomfortable Santana. Their friendship had just grown from there.
She thought back to their first sleepover that summer, lying in the girl's double bed next to the blonde she barely knew. She recalled staring uncomfortably up at the ceiling of a room containing entirely too much pink for her taste. "You still awake?" Brit had whispered after they had been lying in silence for a while. Santana had debated pretending to be asleep but her conscience told her not to lie to this doe-eyed, innocent girl. She nodded her head, indicating she was still awake, and rolled to her side to look at the lanky blonde. She remembered how caught up she was in the girl's blue eyes, and the way that the stripes of moonlight coming through the blinds played across Brit's pale skin. She's really pretty. Santana had jumped a little bit at the thought, looking away and unconsciously biting her lower lip out of nervous habit. "Thanks again," Brittany had said quietly, interrupting Santana's whirling thoughts.
"Thanks for having me," Santana said automatically, the years her Abuela had spent drilling manners into the strong-willed girl showing through. She had thought that the blonde was thanking her for coming to sleep over.
Brittany had smiled and whispered, "Not for coming over… for saving me, silly."
"Saving you? Oh, from Finn? No problem… I had been looking for an excuse to make him cry anyways. He's a dumbass and he deserved it. Besides it was on a dare and that's just mean. You don't deserve to be kissed by somebody who was dared to do it I mean… err… nobody deserves that… that's not cool… and you seem cool… so yeah…" Santana rambled, staring at the ceiling again to avoid looking into those big blue eyes. Brittany had giggled quietly at the girl's evident nervousness and Santana had frowned at the ceiling.
Nobody laughed at Santana Lopez, not even this goofy, bubbly, adorable… Santana's heart had pounded again at these thoughts and her stomach had suddenly twisted into a tight knot as she tried to figure out what she was feeling. So what, she's good looking. Why is it a big deal for you to notice that a girl is good looking? There's nothing wrong with that... right? At some point during Santana's internal monologue, Brit had stopped laughing. Santana suddenly recognized that the girl's eyes were on her and felt the heat rise in her cheeks. She had been thankful that the dark hid her blush. She had a tough girl reputation to uphold, after all.
They had been lying in silence for what felt like forever, when the blonde finally broke it once again. "Can I tell you a secret?" Brittany asked in a tiny voice. Santana simply nodded, still gazing intently up at the ceiling. When Brit didn't continue, Santana gathered up her courage and once more turned to look into the girl's eyes, giving her a reassuring smile. The expression felt unfamiliar on Santana's lips at the time, and she remembered hoping that it didn't look as goofy as it felt. Brittany apparently didn't notice and, finally, she went on. "I've-never-kissed-anybody!" she spat out. Santana shrugged, confused as to why the girl seemed so freaked.
"Me neither," Santana said nonchalantly, "No big deal. All of the boys our age are just dumb anyways."
Brit was quiet for a minute. "Yeah…" she agreed softly, thinking hard. "But, I mean, that's why it was such a big deal that you stopped Finn. 'Cause that would've been my first kiss and I would've been sad. 'Cause I don't wanna kiss Finn… and that's your first kiss, you know, and it's supposed to be special, and magical, and you should remember it forever, and… and…" the girl stopped, out of breath.
Santana let out an uncharacteristic giggle at the girl's little rant. Brit attempted scowl, but the expression looked about as foreign to her features as the encouraging smile had been to Santana's. "What are you laughing at?" the blonde asked, incredulous, "it's a big deal!" The dark-haired girl was taken aback by the sudden seriousness in Brittany's voice.
"Sorry," she said, now trying hard not to laugh. "It's just… well… I'm not… I'm not much of a romantic or anything," she finally stuttered out.
"What's that mean?" Brit said with her head cocked a little to one side. Santana had to bite her lip to stop from smiling when she had noted the similarity between Brit's current expression and one she had once seen on her neighbor's confused cocker spaniel.
"Well, you know I'm…" she trailed off. She wasn't entirely sure what she wanted to say, but she knew that it was something she had never shared with anyone. She looked earnestly at the curious expression in those deep blue eyes. The knot in Santana's stomach traveled up to her throat and rendered her speechless. She mouthed sort of helplessly for a minute, finally closing her lips tightly and shrugging. "I dunno, it's just one of those things people say," Santana finally managed, trying to cover her awkwardness.
"Okay," Brittany yawned, seemingly accepting of the answer. "Will you pinky promise not to tell anybody my secret though?" she asked, her eyes getting sleepy. Pinky promise? Really? What are we, five? But Santana had nodded and offered her pinky to the girl. Brit hooked her little finger to Santana's and held on. She looked straight into Santana's eyes, a sleepy half smile on her face. Santana smiled back, a little surprised by how natural it felt for the girl's pinky to be linked with her own. It was just the tiniest connection between them, but it had felt much bigger to Santana and she marveled at the way it made her heart thump faster and louder. When Santana had looked again, the steady rise and fall of the sheets told Santa that Brit had fallen asleep, their pinkies still entwined.
"Uh… Santana…" Brittany's voice brought Santana back to reality. She shook her head, trying to clear the confusing jumble of emotions the memory brought her, and stared up into the tree. A moment passed as she tried in vain to catch a glimpse of her friend through the tangle of branches above her head. "Can you come up here… please?" Brittany said her voice wavering a little bit.
Santana recognized the nervousness in Brit's voice and the dark-haired girl's competitive nature kicked in. "I told you that you'd get stuck," she chided as she jumped to grab hold of a low hanging branch. Despite her objections before, Santana reveled in any opportunity to 'save' Brit. She convinced herself that it was just because she didn't want to see the girl get hurt, but the reward of Brit's lengthy hugs of gratitude didn't hurt either. Santana wasn't as nimble as Brittany, and her expedition up the tree was significantly more awkward and peppered with expletives. Finally though, she stood on a branch directly under where the blonde perched comfortably leaning against the strong trunk of the oak. Brit flashed a mischievous smile down on Santana and the girl's short temper flared a little.
"You made me come all the way up here and you aren't even stuck! What the hell, Brit!" she shouted up at her. The other girl's smile faded and she looked away for a moment. Santana felt a twang of regret at her words, but the girl had made her climb all the way up a fucking tree for nothing. Brit looked back, innocence in her expression.
"Isn't it pretty up here, though?" she asked quietly. Santana looked away from the blonde for the first time. They were in a cocoon of emerald foliage, the sun showing through the leaves and giving everything a green tint. Most of all, Santana felt how hidden they were from the world. Nobody would know we're up here, not the other kids at school, not our parents, not even God, maybe. Nobody to judge up here… nobody to impress… just Brit. Again, a smile crept across the girl's tanned cheeks but, this time, she made no attempts to hide it. Seeing Santana's expression, the blonde beamed down on her. In one fluid motion, Brit swung so she was hanging upside-down from the branch, her face only inches from Santana's. The shorter girl just stared, eyes wide and heart pounding faster than she'd ever felt it. Brit stared back at her, smiling widely, her cheeks coloring as the blood rushed to her head. Santana's eyes darted for a split second to the blonde's lips, and she subconsciously ran her tongue over her own. Now or never. The dark-haired girl leaned forward those few inches just as the blonde went to swing back up onto the branch. Santana's mouth slammed into Brit's forehead and she stumbled back a little bit, her converse-clad feet slipping from the branch.
Suddenly, Santana was on the ground. Her wrist hurt. A lot. She pulled it into her chest, protectively and bit her lip to keep from crying out. She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes and she couldn't help but think that this was punishment. Girls aren't supposed to like girls! This is what you get for being so messed up. She felt the tears falling now and knew they were more from shame than the pain in her wrist. Suddenly Brit was there; panicked and saying something that Santana couldn't quite understand. Only then did Santana realize how cloudy her thoughts were and she tried to concentrate on the girl in front of her. She kneeled down next to Santana and was pressing her towel to Santana's side. She winced and tried to back away, seeing the red stain spread across the white towel in Brit's pale hands. Was that blood? Santana's head hurt and she felt dizzy. Suddenly there were other people there- one of the lifeguards from the pool and that mom in the green stripped cover-up and a man in a business suit and tie. Santana wanted them to go away. She closed her eyes tight.
For the first day of school of her eighth grade year, Santana had a red cast on her right wrist, twenty-three stitches along her left side, and a desire to bury her feelings that were so clearly wrong.