"Dr. Edwards, I am demanding that you get out of there right now."
Chief Hunt's voice echoed against the walls of the room, the vibrations seeming to bounce off the collapsed heap of shelves and hit Stephanie square in the gut. As her arms shook with exhaustion, and her back ached from the repetitive motion of giving compressions, she tried to ignore this new pain.
"Dr. Edwards, I mean it. They're predicting aftershocks and the building isn't structurally sound."
These words hit harder, and Stephanie struggled to swallow back tears. It was all she could do to not imagine what aftershocks might mean. The initial quake had done more damage than she ever would have predicted, and the idea that things could get worse was more terrifying than she could handle.
Her body was trying to give up on her. Every movement was agony, every breath shorter than the last. To give up and get out would be such sweet salvation. But underneath her fingers she could still feel her patient's skin, and underneath that her heart trying so hard to beat on its own, her lungs aching for air. Even if Stephanie did think it was a lost cause there was some part of her that had fused her to this woman, and she wasn't willing to give up.
"If I stop, she dies." Stephanie said, pausing her compressions to tilt the patient's head and force a breath down her airway. With the hand she wasn't using to pinch her patient's nose, she felt desperately for a pulse.
There was none.
"You've done everything you can do. I know this is hard, but it's time to let her go."
Despite his efforts to hide it, Stephanie could pick up on the crack in Hunt's voice even from across the room. Like her body, he was trying to give up. Trying to make her stop. And it was so tempting. Her head was starting to spin and for a moment she let herself think of how nice it would be to walk away, to crawl through the rubble and collapse at Hunt's feet, to be carried away to rest somewhere safe.
"There's nothing else you can do for her. It's too dangerous for the emergency crews to try and clear this mess to get to her when we still have aftershocks to worry about. You need to get yourself out of there before it's too late."
It would be so easy to stop. So easy to give up. So easy to let her die.
Then her eyes fell on April's face, still contorted with the fear she had felt in her last moments of consciousness, her red hair stuck to a cut on her forehead that had left a streak of blood across her pale skin. Stephanie had always found her strangely intimidating, but now she was completely vulnerable. The only thing keeping April alive was the steady beat of Stephanie's hands against her crushed chest.
If she were to stop, to give in to her body's aches and Owen's pleas, it would be over. In a matter of moments April's organs would be starved for oxygenated blood, and she would die. It would be quick, she'd never wake up to know it was happening, she wouldn't feel any pain. One moment she would be alive, and the next she would be dead. All Stephanie had to do was stop compressions.
It would be so easy.
"Dr. Edwards, I need you to give me some kind of response so I know you're still with me."
Stephanie drew in a breath as the tears she had been suppressing finally broke free, dripping from her cheeks down onto her tired hands.
"I won't leave her here to die."