Disclaimer: I don't own anything

A/N: This was inspired by the song Do I want to Know by the Arctic Monkeys, you should totally check it out. Enjoy

I wonder sometimes (all the time) if you feel the same. If you want me as much as I want you, if you long for our meetings as much as I do and stays awake at night thinking of me, how a relationship with me would be, how our first time would be and how my lips taste?

Is that color on your cheek I see when I smile at you? Or am I imagining things? Is this some plan you made up? To make me fall for you, fall hard and make me suffer, is that it?

I dreamt about you almost every night and wakes up horny and unsatisfied, it get really tiresome that none of it turns out to be real and the cold showers isn't really something I fancy too much, though it's not the type I use to get rid of it most of the time but it was still not pleasant. You're really cruel.

Can you keep another secret? P.E is getting really hard, not the lessons them self. They're easy. It's the showers. In the shower I get to see you in your naked glory, and the way you rub soap on your body is really arousing. P.E is getting hard indeed.

You forgot one of your albums in my dorm. I really meant to return it but...The songs remind me so much of you, and I play it on repeat until I fall asleep. It sounds kinda creepy, but somehow it makes me feel connected to you.

You make me sad sometimes but you mostly make me really jealous. When that feeling in my stomach won't disappear I drink. What was so special about that Spanner anyways? I think as I take another clunk of alcohol. He was just a pretty blond with some stupid obsession with robots.

The thought of you and him in a relationship hurts me so much, that on really bad days I cry, not that I'll ever tell you that. You'd blame yourself and it really isn't.

Do I even want to know your feelings for me? The thought of rejection hurts me too much to even try asking. The thought of you waiting for me to make a move has struck me many times but it couldn't be true, now could it?

I invited you to my dorm today, you said No and something about homework. It made me disappointed. I was really selfish for wanting you to be around me all the time.

I've spent too many nights with my phone in my hand thinking of calling you and to tell you everything. What I feel about you and how much I desire you. I never for that though.

I've tried to fall for somebody else, really bad. I've talked to many people, but it never works. It doesn't feel right, it feels as if I'm cheating. Perhaps I'm too busy imagining being yours that I can't fall for someone else.

Are you even interested in anyone? Are your heart open for me to crawl into? or is it closed or worse someone else's? Will it ever open for me?

I've started dragging you away from Spanner. I can't take the jealousy anymore, it's making me think thoughts I shouldn't. You never asked me why I did it and I'm really thankful for that.

The times I thought or tried to kiss you is beyond counting. I never dared to go all the way though. You never seemed to notice it, if you did you hide it really well. Perhaps you thought it was normal or maybe...Maybe you wanted the closeness? I shrug the thought away, of course it wasn't that.

We could be together if you wanted to. All you have to do is to tell me, hell you could ask me to do anything at all and I'd do it, even kill someone. Do you want me to keep trying to get into your heart or do you want me to leave you alone? All these questions flood my brain, as I'm trying to fall asleep. Should I tell you? Do you want to know Shou-Chan?

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