Life Carries On
And there he was. As much of a self-professed slut he was, Schuldig could still appreciate the little quirks of the human body. Everyone was different, and not everyone was an assassin. The scars that were tattooed across Bombay's body were almost artful. Not like his own. These were delicate and smooth, not puckered or jagged. Bombay was impatient. God, it had been awhile. Too long. Maybe that's why he was slowly losing his mind. Lack of sex. Did Brad count? Suppose so. It was sex just the same, no matter under what context. Still, his injuries had taken a toll, more than just physically. He needed something, someone to do. Bombay was more than eager.
A small part of him wanted to torture the ex-Weiss. A little part of him wanted to tie his wrists to the bedrails and work him until he screamed and begged for mercy. Then again, Abyssinian was right there beside them. Besides, he needed this as much as Bombay. No use wasting precious time on sadistic fantasies. Hands that once held a crossbow at his throat were now groping his ass.
It
was only one hour ago
It was all so different then
nothing yet has really sunk in
looks like it always did
this flesh and bone
it's just the way that we are tied in
but there's noone home
"Just fuck me already, Schu!"
He lifted Bombay in his arms, propelling them both back against the headboard of the bed, his own arms pinned behind the teenager's back as his lips crushed against the others, hungrily slipping his tongue into the boy's panting mouth. Was it that simple, to just fuck this one? Should be, right? After all, he was Schuldig. Why not? That's what he was good at… good for. A good fuck and Bombay would creep back to Aya on his knees. It was all in the cards. He didn't need to be a pre-cog to know that.
i grieve...
for you
you leave...
me
He proceeded as always, linking their minds as he slid a hand down Bombay's spine, between the crack of his ass. He reveled for a few moments in the bask of the boy's lust and need filling his mind with the smell of sex. He reached his mind in, stroking a pleasure center in the boy's mind, shuddering along with the shudder that the action produced. That's it… open yourself to me. Schuldig leaned back for a moment, breaking the kiss slowly as he sucked lightly on the boy's lower lip. He stared down into those demanding, yet dazed eyes, and something… snapped.
"God, you're beautiful."
It was out before he realized he'd said it. He was surprised, but not enough to miss the echo that replied in Bombay's mind.
//Like a doll.//
No… he thought bitterly, choking back both words and thought: Like an angel. He shouldn't have even thought it. He shouldn't have let the tide break. Before he could lose complete control, he arched his hips forward, burying himself in the tight heat of the younger man clinging to him. His gazed dipped down, his lips grazing Bombay's shoulder in a soft groan. And the memories and feelings stabbed him through the back of the mind.
so hard to move on
still loving what's gone
said life carries on...
carries on and on and on...
and on
"Father, does God love everyone?"
"God loves those who ask forgiveness for their sins and believe in the greatness that is Him, who was our savior."
"Why did he save us?"
"Because, Christian, he loves us."
"But how did he know? How did he know who would ask forgiveness and believe in him?"
"He didn't, my son. He did it for all of us. The good and the bad."
"But why not just save the good ones?"
"Because you can't have good without evil, Christian. There must always be two forces. Evil exists in order to show people what is good. Do you understand?"
"Evil exists… because. Because it has to. Even though… it won't ever be saved."
"Evil doesn't care to be saved, my son. Evil has lived in darkness so long that it is blind to the light."
the news that truely shocks
is the empty, empty page
while the final rattle rocks
its empty, empty cage...
and i can't handle this
He gasped for air as his eyes flew open, staring into the thin soft strands of Bombay's hair, now slightly damp with sweat. He panicked for a second, wondering if he'd hurt the boy in his mental absence, but the increasing groans that fell against his ear and the fingers digging into his lower back comforted him back into the real sensations of the act. It had been awhile since he'd lost it like that. It usually only happened at the worst possible moment. Tonight was no exception. Resuming his hunger, he stroked Bombay's mind in time with his moving hips, delighting in spurning the boy to ecstasy. He began to lose himself at the same time, the delicious nothingness starting to engulf him into the passion and drive of obtaining that heightened moment of pleasure, when all of the voices would silence in his head.
i grieve...
for you
you leave...
me
His mind screamed for one marvelous instant that he could breathe on his own, without the presence of another, then he opened his eyes and listened to the fluttering of Bombay's heart against his cheek, his body slipping down as his arms wrapped around the teenager's slip waist. He didn't even notice the tears staining his angel's stomach.
let it out and move on
missing what's gone
said life carries on...
i said life carries on and on...
He didn't even notice them as he began to kiss the skin beneath his lips, trailing the kisses over the rise and fall of Bombay's still shuddering body. Forget the fucking pain.. forget the fucking memories… Right now, I have you. That's all I need. He pushed himself up and slid a hand through his angel's hair, pulling him into a deep, searching kiss. This time, the memories choked him around the throat.
and on
life carries on in the people i meet
in every one that's out on the street
in all the dogs and cats
This time, they didn't settle on just one image right away. They shot through the streets where he'd fucked for food.
in the flies and rats
in the rod and the rust
in the ashes and the dust
They wound over and around the people and bodies he killed, and they finally landed on one man…a part of him protesting violently against the choice of persona to appear in the memory.
"Why the hell do I put up with you, Schuldig?"
life carries on and on and on...
and on
"I mean, you're not even that good a fuck, for God's sake."
life carries on and on and on...
life carries on and on and on...
For God's sake. Real funny Brad. Yeah, I fuck for God's sake. I kill for God's sake. Sure. Right. There's got to be evil for there to be good, right?
and on
life carries on and on and on...
"Stop laughing at me, you psycho, and get out of my bed. Go find something useful to do, besides getting wasted and passing out on the front stairs."
just the car that we ride in
the home we reside in
the face that we hide in
And eyes open. His head hurt. Twice? They never came twice. Never. Yes, occasionally once when he destroyed his shields during sex… but never twice. The pain pressed at the back of his eyes. And then he felt it. Arms wrapped around him. He looked up and saw those crisp, shining eyes.
the way we are tied in
as life carries on and on and on...
and on
life carries on and on and on...
"Kitten." He smiled. Bombay made a face. He let his fingers tickle the back of the boy's thigh with a soft laugh. He couldn't believe how beautiful he was. Why hadn't he noticed it before?
did i dream this belief
or did i believe this dream
Curiously, he slipped inside the boy's mind, probing to see his thoughts. Like a child, eager to know if he really was a favorite of this amazing angel that held him. What he saw, chilled him. In a corner of Bombay's mind, Omi cowered. Fear hovered around the boy like an aura, eyes wide and traumatized at Schuldig's unwanted presence. It was powerful enough that he instantly withdrew, a strange feeling knotting in his own chest.
how i will find relief
i grieve...
Schuldig (River)
Song: I Grieve, by Peter Gabriel
Single the Soundtrack, City of Angels