A/N - This is my first ever published fanfic, although I have been reading and writing them for years now. My teenage children got me into the world of Mass Effect and I just finished my fourth playthrough of the series. I am not the person who hates the ending - in fact, with the EC DLC, I was happy. I'm just a hopeless romantic at heart and I wanted more of my Shepard and Kaidan, so I decided to tell my story as I've played it, filling in the blanks as I go and giving us the ending after the ending as I saw it would play out.
This fanfic includes spoilers for all three Mass Effect games and all related DLC, and adheres, as strictly as I could, to the story that Bioware has already told. I consider anything published by Bioware in any media "canon" and this story strives not to contradict that. If you see a contradiction, drop me a line and I will try to edit to reflect it. I do not plan to retell the existing story in this fic, rather, to flesh it out between the already superb tale Bioware has told. Where possible, I have tried to avoid quoting actual game dialog or retelling scenes as shown in the games, unless it is necessary to the story.
My Shepard is Katriona (Kat), she's a spacer/war hero/paragon with minor moments of renegade thrown in where I felt the situation warranted it (you all know where those moments are!) The story itself is rated M, for language and some smut as we go, and just to generally be safe!
If you're still reading after this painfully long author's note, my apologies, on to the (hopefully) good stuff, please drop me a line and let me know what you think!
It was the last day before they would leave their "paradise" - the lush green planet they had managed to crash (ok, Joker hated using the word crash, he preferred "temporarily diverted") on their way to the rendezvous with the fleet. All in all, they were lucky and it was due to Joker's skill, so no one gave him much grief over it, not that they were likely to anyway since the man was suffering. EDI's shutdown after the beam had hit them now appeared to be permanent; not even Tali, with all her knowledge of advanced AI, seemed to have any ideas.
So here they stood, one week after the frenetic battle on Earth, this ragtag band of brothers that Shepard had once again formed into a family, to say goodbye to those they had lost. Word had come down from command that Anderson had not survived, so it was with mournful sadness that Kaidan, as the highest ranking Alliance soldier on board, had placed his name on the memorial wall, and gave a sharp and correct salute, thinking of the times that Anderson had led him, mentored him, and even the times he had kicked his ass. He had been a good man, a great soldier, a leader - he would be missed.
Joker stepped forward next, holding the plaque bearing EDI's name. He placed it on the wall, amongst the names of the others they had lost... Then turned away abruptly and rejoined the group. Tali reached out to touch his shoulder, but he shrugged her off. Kaidan got it. No amount of comfort would suffice. Joker would have tough times ahead as he worked through his stages of grief. Kaidan hoped Joker had a better time of it than he had when Shep-
Liara moved to Kaidan and placed another plaque in his hands, breaking off his thoughts. He looked down to see it was engraved with Cmdr Katriona Shepard. He traced her name almost reverently. Thoughts of the amazing woman he had had the privilege to know and love never left his mind in this past week, although noone had yet received any information about her, she was currently listed as MIA. However, it seemed fairly clear that whatever had happened on those last moments on the Citadel, she was the reason they were all standing there now, mostly intact.
He looked behind him to see the crew cast their eyes down in mournful respect. He traced Shepard's name again, and, remembering their promise to find each other after this was over, he looked up and smiled. "I think this is a little premature," he said to Liara and handed the plaque back to her, then turned away to head to engineering. "I need a sit rep in one hour everyone," was his parting comment.
The rest of the crew watched his departing back - he was still limping a bit after his injuries from the ground assault - but otherwise he walked tall and proud, not broken. Garrus hugged Tali, grateful to have her safe beside him, turned to Liara, still holding the plaque in her hands, a graceful smile on her face now, too. "Do you think he's in denial?" he asked the asari.
"No," she replied, "I think he has hope." She turned away, to head back to her quarters, calling over her shoulder. "You heard the Major, let's get back to it".
Beneath a pile of rubble at the heart of the damaged Citadel, a single breath, a solitary heartbeat signified that life continued; hope remained. Shepard drifted in and out of consciousness, the pain beyond any she had ever felt testifying to both the fact that she had somehow, miraculously (once again) beaten all the odds and lived through the nightmare that had started the moment the beam vomited her out onto the Reaper-controlled Citadel and the fact that if she didn't get help soon, she would die ignominiously, alone and broken in the greatest anti-climax of her life. In a moment of lucidity she tried to decide if this was a better death than being spaced. This way was longer and more painful sure, but she had the satisfaction that her mission was finally accomplished. On that thought, she took another deep painful breath and surrended herself to the inky blackness of oblivion.
The rescue crew reached her shortly after, laboring in near silence to drag the wreckage off her while the med techs scrambled to keep her stable through the lengthy process of extricating her. They had, as protocol dictated, checked her tags as soon as they had spotted her body beneath the rubble so they all knew they were now frantically trying to rescue the Savior of the Galaxy. As a result, they worked in coordinated silence and single-minded determination to get her out and to a trauma center as quickly as possible.
It took nearly an hour but they finally managed to transfer her to a backboard and rush her to the shuttle. The corporal leading the extraction team turned to the medtech as she worked over her patient. "Is she going to make it?" he inquired. The harried medtech looked up quickly and he saw the answer in her eyes before she even replied, "It's gonna take a miracle." Another one, he thought to himself grimly, then activated his omni-tool to notify command that Shepard had been located and was, at least for now, alive.