"What is it, Melissa?" Dean asked.
She drug around in the book bag. It must have been of purse or something. She finally found what she was looking for. "Umm, I had always carried this around since he gave it to me. I thought you should have it." She pulled out a little stuffed black bear; Bonnie.
"Oh, it's been a while since I've seen her." Dean said staring at the small bear that him and Cas bought Wyatt when he was two year old with her partner, Clyde.
"I want you to have her, Dean and Cas." Melissa put the bear on the coffee table.
"Oh no, she is yours. You have to have something to remember Wyatt by. Me and Dean have plenty to remember him by. We still have Clyde." Cas remarked handing the bear back to Melissa.
"I can't, really. It's too sad. I didn't even get to say goodbye. My last words to him were years ago. I can't." Melissa said close to tears. "I didn't even know he was gone."
"It's ok, Melissa, really. You were best friends with Wyatt. Take Bonnie. We don't need her. You need her more than us." Dean said.
"Thank you. I'm sorry for you lost." Melissa said standing up.
"No thank you. While, you're here you should visit your old man. He misses you a bunch." Dean smiled rising to his feet.
Melissa walked to the door but not before hugging Dean and Cas. Cas followed her out and Dean walked upstairs. Cas sat back down on the couch and watched TV.
He had maybe been watching for two hours when something felt off. He didn't heard Dean upstairs. It had been while. It worried Cas. He got up and walked in their bed room. Dean was sitting cross legged on the floor surrounded by Wyatt's baby stuff. "Dean? What are you doing?"
That's when Cas noticed the tears. Dean would never admit to crying, but he would blame hormones. "I can't find him."
"Can't find what? Dean, what's wrong?" Dean kept looking in the box until it was empty. Cas walked over to the mess and looked inside the empty box. It was Wyatt's memory box. He looked at Dean and he had a panicked look on his face. Cas stepped over the mess and crouch down and sat in front of Dean. "Dean, breathe, what's wrong? What can't you find?"
Dean sniffed and set down the things in his hands. He closed his eyes and rubbed his swollen middle. Cas cupped Dean's jaw and wiped away his tears just like Dean had done to Kayla only hours earlier. "I can't find Clyde." Dean muttered.
Cas smirked. "It's ok, baby. He's probably in the house somewhere like all the other stuff we couldn't put away or sell." Cas took Dean's hands in his own. "Everything is ok. Let's put all this stuff away and now you should get in the bed. I don't like how much stress you have dealt with today."
Dean nodded and started putting things away. After a few minutes Cas helped Dean to his feet. Dean stopped by the bathroom before heading to bed. "I'm sorry, Cas."
"For what? Showing emotion? For crying? For showing me you actually give a shit about a little stuffed bear normal people would have given away years ago? There's no need for sorry. This is why I love you Dean, you care about other people so fucking much. The consequences of that is it stresses you out and you don't need that with this high risk pregnancy and with the triplets." Cas rubbed Dean's belly.
"Thank you, baby. I love you too." Dean sat down on the bed.
"You go rest. I'll keep the door closed so Elliot and Kayla won't disturb you. Holly should be home with Charlie this evening. I'll wake you then."
Dean nodded and laid down under the clovers. Cas walked out of the room and shut the door as promised. He walked past Elliot room when he noticed she was sitting up and rubbing her eyes and he pacifier still in her mouth. Cas and Dean were trying to wean her off of it but she was attracted the paci and it calmed her down a lot. For right now they let her have it when she has her nap or bed time and on car trips. "Hey there, baby doll. How was your nap?"
She looked sleepily at Cas and stretched her arms out for him. Elliot is a quiet lazy one after her naps. Cas smiled and scooped her up. She rest her head on Cas's shoulder. Cas tugged on the pacifier and Elliot whimpered. "Come on, sweetie. You know the rules."
Elliot shook her head and buried her head in his neck. It had been a long day so he let it slide. "Ellie, you do have to potty?"
She shook her head and gripped Cas's shirt. "Ellie, did you go in your pull up?" Elliot whimpered and nodded her head. Cas set her on the bed and pulled off her bottoms and grabbed a fresh pull up. Elliot had just started showing signs of wanting to potty train so they start by pulls up and making her sit on her potty for a little while. Dean and Cas were pros at potty training at this point.
Cas slid off the soiled pull up and pulled a new one on his youngest daughter. "There, good as new." Elliot stood on the bed and Cas helped her into her pants then scooped her up again and walked downstairs. Once they were downstairs he set Elliot on the couch and turned on the couch to a kids show. "Ellie, I'm gonna be in the line kitchen cleaning up. Watch some TV."
Cas thought Ellie might fall asleep again on the couch and that was fine. He just went to clean the kitchen. After about a good few hours the kitchen was spotless. He walked into the living room and sure enough Elliot was asleep but Kayla was sitting on the couch with Elliot head in her lap.
The doorbell rang. Cas walked to the door. It was Holly and Charlie. "Hey Papa." Holly smiled. Cas hugged her neck.
"Hey Holly bug." Cas smiled and pulled away. "Hello Charlie. It's good to see you again."
Cas pulled Charlie into a hug. "It's good to see you again Mr. Winchester."
"Charlie call me Cas."
"Right." Charlie smiled.
"Come in, I just finished clean the kitchen. Elliot is asleep on the couch with Kayla and Dean in asleep upstairs." Cas said.
"Where's the others?" Holly asked.
"Let me think." Cas tapped his chin. "Aster sleepover, Finley hanging out with some friends, Sonny is spending the weekend with some friends, and Ethan and Johnny are at a party."
"How do you do that Papa?"
"How do I do what?"
"Remember where everyone is?"
"It's my job as a Dad." Cas said as they walked into the living room. Elliot was waking again. Kayla had taken the paci out of her mouth and had set it on the coffee table.
"Papa…" Elliot called holding out her arms for him. Cas smirked and walked passed Elliot. That made her whimpered. "Papa…"
Holly saw Elliot. "Ellie, it' Holly." Cas remarked.
Elliot stared up at Holly and stretched up at Holly. "Holly."
Holly lifted up the 2 year old in her arms. "Hey Ellie bear." Holly looked over at Kayla. "Kayla have you been a good big sister to Elliot?"
"Yeah, I help Papa and Daddy with her."
"Good. That's what you should do." Holly nodded and sat beside her little sister with her littlest sister in her lap. Charlie had walked out of the living room. Cas and Holly didn't notice.
She walked upstairs. Dean and Cas's bedroom was open. Dean had opened it. He was wake. Charlie peered inside and Dean was reading a book in a chair by the window. She walked in and over to Dean. "Mr. Winchester?"
Dean looked up and saw Charlie. He set the book down and smiled. "Hey, Charlie."
"Can I talk with you?"
"Sure. What do you wanna talk about? How long have you been here? I would have come down if I heard. I haven't been awake for long." Dean smiled.
"Holly and I just got here. I just really needed to talk to you. It's about Holly."
"What about Holly?" Dean stared at the red head.
"I wanna ask you permission for your daughter's hand in marriage." Charlie asked ringing her hands.
"Really?"
"Yes." Charlie smiled.
"Before I give my answer you have to answer one question of mine." Dean said raising one finger.
"Yeah, sure, anything."
"Why do you want to marry my daughter?" Dean said with a serious face.
Charlie stared at Dean for a few moments, thinking about her answer. Then the words came to her. "I love her. Ever since we met in one of the classes we had together our first year of college I knew we would be together forever. She is my everything and I would do anything for her. She's the Bonnie to my Clyde. I don't want to lose her. I want to be with her forever. I want to have a family with her." Charlie said with a smile from ear to ear. "I want to have the relationship like you and Cas."
Dean's smile was back. "I do give you permission to marry Holly."
"Thank you, Mr. Winchester."
Dean slowly rose to his feet. "Charlie, Mr. Winchester is my Dad. I'm Dean."
"Right." Charlie smiled as they started walking to the door. "It's funny that I used the analogy of Bonnie and Clyde."
"Why is that?"
"She has this stuffed bear she sleeps very every night and carries around with her everywhere she calls Clyde. We've been dating for almost three years and she still hasn't told me why she has it, why it's name is Clyde, why she takes it everywhere."
"It was her older brothers stuffed bear." Dean muttered.
"Holly has an older brother. I never knew that."
"She doesn't like to talk about it." Dean replied looking at the ground, standing the doorway.
"Is he a criminal? Or an addict?"
"He's dead; killed in the army." Dean cleared his throat.
"Oh, I'm so sorry." Charlie gasped.
"It's fine. It's just a rough topic." Dean started walking down the stairs. All the boys were home and in their rooms when Dean got in the living room. Holly and Cas looked right away.
"Look who decided to join the land of the living." Cas smirked. Dean smirked and flopped down in his chair and let out a sigh of relief. They all just talked for a few hours before eating.
&^%$# ! #$%^%$*&^%$#
Charlie was in the shower and Holly was sitting on the bed reading a book. Dean waddled into the bedroom. "You got time to talk to your Daddy, college girl?"
Holly looked up and set her book down. "I always have time to my Daddy." Holly smiled as Dean got on the bed and crossed his legs Indian style.
"A little birdy told me that you are sleeping with a little black bear every night and carrying that little bear everywhere you go. The little birdy also told me the bear was named Clyde. The last thing this little birdy said was that you haven't told you why you carry the bear around, why you have the bear, and why it's name is Clyde."
"I took Clyde with me to college." Holly admitted.
"I was looking for Clyde earlier today. The girl who has Bonnie want to give the bear back. We refused because we knew Wyatt would want Melissa to have Bonnie."
Holly just nodded.
"Why do you carry it around everywhere and sleep with it every night?"
Holly looked down at her hands. "The day we got the call saying Wyatt die I just grabbed Clyde and cried. Right before he left he handed me Clyde and said 'Holly, I want you to have him and take care of him for when I get back.' He never came back. I made a promise to Wyatt and I plan on keeping it. I mean Wyatt's last words to me were take care of him for when I get back. Now, he's gone and I all I have of his is Clyde." Holly voice cracked and tears fell down her face. "I just wanna tell him that I love him. And just have him hear it again. I just need him to hear that one more time. But he can't. He can't."
Dean felt tears bubbling up in his eyes. "I miss him too, Holly. We all miss him, but we just have to deal."
"I don't wanna deal. I just want my big brother back. I just want to see him one more time." Holly sobbed.
"I know, baby girl." Dean cried pulling Holly into his arms.
"I sleep with Clyde every night because if I don't I will cry myself to sleep. If I don't carry him around me I feel empty." Holly gripped her father's shirt. "I miss him so much, Daddy."
Dean rubbed her back. "I know, baby girl. I know, believe me, I know."
Holly sobbed into Dean's chest. She was exactly like Dean. She bottled thing up until it just over flows and you just have to let it out. He hadn't realized the mark he had left on Holly's life until today. He left a mark on the whole family and now he's gone.