Yeah. I'm stupid. I put another story that everyone hates.
Here's the sequel to Quell.
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Tick tock.
Seven o'clock.
Wake up. Change into my grey shirt, black pants, and black boots. Go down to breakfast. Glare at the woman who serves me a small bowl of oats, a cup of mashed fruit, and a tiny bottle of water. Sit with Renee, Kalia, Makenzie, Cato, and Bailey. Refuse to eat. Eat when Renee stares at me sadly. Refuse to drink. Drink anyway when Renee sighs in despair. Shake my head when Makenzie offers me her tray. Give my remaining fruit to the pale ghost that is Bailey. Give a quarter of my remaining oats to Kalia. Give another quarter to Cato. Let Renee have the rest. Try to get a knife from the cook. Swear at the guard who catches me every day. Go back to my room. Wait for Gloss.
Tick tock.
Eight o'clock.
Sigh when Gloss is one minute late- again. Give him my lines. Sigh again when he tells me how pathetic they are. Write three more lines for him to see. Tell him to go away or else. Swear when he laughs. Write three more lines. Write three more lines. Throw my pencil at the ground. Threaten to cut Gloss's head off. Swear some more when he laughs and leaves. Sit alone until I decide to get my schedule tattooed on my arm. Regret the decision when I realize how annoying the black marks are. Try to wipe it off. Open my anonymous drawer for the four hundredth time. Stare at the contents. Push my arena clothes to the side. Open a tiny box that contains Katniss Everdeen's mud-streaked mockingjay pin. Hold back tears when I see my father's old boots. Shut it and decide that everything inside is not real, because I'm so tired of real.
Tick tock.
Nine o'clock.
Ignore the black ink on my arm. Go to Cato's room. Hold his hand and ignore the engagement ring on my left hand. Tell him that Glimmer is strong. Thank him when he tells me how I should know how Marvel must be pulling through. Leave to visit Bailey. Give her a button from my boots. Watch her breathing, just barely managing to take in enough air. Tell her that I'll find a way to get us something to do. Nod to her older sister, Avalynn. Leave to find Kalia and Makenzie.
Tick tock.
Ten o'clock.
Sit down with Makenzie in her room. Wait for Kalia. Smile (only a little) when she arrives. Ask what they think is real. Tell them what I think is real (hate, war, grey, boredom, knives, and friends) and what is not real (love, peace, yellow, happiness, laughter, and freedom). Laugh bitterly because of how stupid I sound. Nothing is real anymore. Real is not real. Apologize when I realize how scary I am. Refuse to take a book from Kalia. Refuse to take a colored pencil from Makenzie. Hold back tears. Cry anyway because I'm with friends. Pray that friends will stay real (but if real is not real, then they've never been real).
Tick tock.
Eleven o'clock.
Go down to lunch with Kalia and Makenzie. Take the stew and water from the cook. Refuse to eat. Eat anyway when Cato looks like he's going to cry. Refuse to drink. Drink anyway when Renee starts crying. Calm her down. Give her half of my stew. Growl when Cato gives me his stew. Throw everything away because I just want to die. Go back to my room. Lie on my bed and cry. Go through my anonymous drawer for the four hundred first time. Replace the District Thirteen boots with my father's boots. Murmur a silent thank-you to Renee for keeping them safe. Sit outside the room and swear at passersby. Go back inside and go to sleep.
Tick tock.
Five o'clock.
Go down to dinner. Swear at the cook when she gives me a cheese sandwich, some mashed carrots, and water. Tell the guard that I'm being nice by my standards. Go sit with my friends. Aim some more colorful language at Gloss when he tells me that I'm needed by Plutarch Heavensbee during reflection at six o'clock. Eat half of the sandwich, because all we usually have for dinner is some random mashed meat. Give the other half to Cato. Give my carrots to Makenzie. Drink the water. Cover Renee's ears. Insult everyone else at the table. Drop off my tray and walk back to my room. Ignore my anonymous drawer. Cry a little. Go to sleep.
Tick tock.
Six o'clock.
Get up and go to the elevator. Press the little letter A. Glare at anyone who gets on with me. Get off at my floor. Knock on Plutarch's room. Swear at him when he opens the door. Take a seat without being asked. Wait for him to tell me which teacher is mad at me. Roll my eyes when he tells me I have a mission. Swear some more. Tell him that I'd be much happier if he'd rescued Marvel, not me. Tune out his requests. Frown when I hear the words 'going to District 2'. Ask him why. Try not to believe him. Go back to my room and cry.
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Stay tuned for more.