Insanity, Thy Name Is Life
Insanity: The condition of being insane; a derangement of the mind. Synonyms: dementia, lunacy, madness, craziness, mania, aberration.
That is my house. Well, in all reality, I guess I should call it home. However, I like to pretend it isn't. I can't be blamed for it- I mean, I live in a house that's got nine insane people living in it. Alright, seven insane people and a four month old baby, and a six year old. This is definitely a stretch for someone who is used to living in a house of three, being my mother, my sister, and I. Unfortunately for me, my mother met Ryan. By Ryan I mean her boyfriend- excuse me, fiance- of two years.
Now, when they met I liked him. He was funny, and we joked around and laughed, and he always made my mother smile. They would play around and go on dates, and I was so glad to see her finally be happy after the divorce. He was so perfect for her. Her face was bright with a smile every day, she always had me straightening that blonde poof she calls hair, and those pretty blue eyes of hers that I never did inherit were always sparkling. I had no problems with him. Until we all moved in to his nineteen roomed house. And despite that that sounds like a huge house, it isn't. Because there are nine of us. And only five bedrooms in all of that. There could be seven, but we have a dining room that no one uses because there's a table in the kitchen, and we have a game room with a pool table that is only ever used when every Ryan's brother's family comes over on Christmas.
When I say nine people, I mean nine people. My mother, Ryan, my sister (Jamie), me (Calleigh Addelyn Wrightwen), Ryan's three sons (Bryan, David, and Nathaniel), and Bryan's girlfriend (Erin) and their baby (four month old Jake). Now, being that we're all stuffed into five rooms, David and Nate share a room, Mum and Ryan share a room, and Bryan, Erin, and Jake share a room. Luckily, my sister and I get our own rooms. But mine's about the equivilent to a closet. It fits my bed, two dressers, and a hope chest. And a small Tv in the corner on a stand, and it's cramped. There's no extra wall space. I'm not kidding. It used to be Nate's room, he's SIX. I'm Seventeen. Come on now, I went from having a half the upstairs as my room (and I mean this literally) in my old house, and now I'm subjected to a freaking closet. I'm not happy. I like my space, and I miss the giant lounge chair I had in my old room. It's in the living room here. I can't sleep on it anymore because the living room has two doorways, and neither with doors. I have a serious phobia of open doors. And especially sleeping where there are no doors. I've seen too many ghost movies. Don't judge me.
Now, that being said about my squashed family, I wouldn't mind having them around, you know, if I didn't hate them most of the time. Seriously, if my family were like the Weasleys, I would love it. It would be fantastic, and we would have tons and tons of fun. However, we're the opposite. We're completely dysfunctional, and only rarely in the good way.
Ryan has black hair with grey streaks throughout it. He's got brown eyes, and he's on the husky side. He very tall too. He works at a Vocational School, as a culinary instructor. Which isn't all that bad, it pays very well. But he's got an, ahem, terrible habit of blowing his money. Like really. And he's a favortist bastard. His kids can do whatever they want, and it's never a big deal, but if I do so much as not clean my room when my mom tells me to (despite David's being on month three of being told), it's a big deal and I'm terrible. I'm not kidding. Bryan's a recovering drug addict of bloody heroine, but that's fine, you know, it's the favorite. But I lit up a cigarette one day, and Ryan went through the roof. Seriously? Ugh. I was pissed off, and it's supposed to de-stress you, and I never tried it before. The fact that I threw up twenty minutes later should have been enough. But no. He still rants about it. It's been months.
My Mum, as I said has what I call a white-woman afro. It grows straight out. Not down, out. Like vertically and horizontally. And she has these really pretty sky blue eyes, that I'm very jealous of. She can't work, because she's disabled, but she used to be a healer. She has a disease called Diabetes, it's not generally horrible, but hers is a bad case. It's gotten to the point where she can't lift her arm except even to her shoulder, and even that's uncomfortable, her legs are almost always throbbing (and they're thin as sticks), her heart races two times the normal rate of one (meaning it could explode at any time without her medicine), and if she doesn't eat a certain diet, the acids in her stomach dissolve all food without even giving her any of the nutrients, and then proceeds to eat all her muscle mass, and her own food. It's not good, I tell you. But I love her to pieces. We have a blast together. Just yesterday night I ran in and pounced on her right before she went to sleep. She pushed me off the bed and told me I was a crazy little bint, and to leave her sleep. Then she kissed my head, and rolled back over. I'd go nuts without her.
Bryan has shaggy black hair, and brown eyes, he's really tall and gangly. He might weight a hundred and twenty pounds soaking wet. But that's not the problem. It's just that he is simply a lazy bastard, and I don't mean that lovingly. I hate him, like abhor him. The sight of him makes me sick. I mean, what self respecting twenty-five year old still lives with his father, doesn't pay his car insurance, car payment, phone bill, or any other expense, and has a fiance and a baby living with him? None, I tell you. Because he's been offered several jobs, and chooses none. Why would he, if his father and grandparents worship the ground he walks on? Give him all the money he could ever want, even putting theirselves into debt, and he doesn't care. He's a selfish bastard. He never shuts up, and not even about anything relevant. He talks about energy drinks, cat pictures, VW's, and those stupid lolz-cats pictures invading the internet. And I mean that's all he talks about. Oh, and rappers, and drugs (which he knows all about because he just got out of Rehab for HEROINE.) He thinks he's amazing. Literally, just yesterday he told us he's smarter than the internet, and that we should all just ask him when we need to know something. Narcissus reborn, I tell you.
Erin has long black hair, but it's really curly, and she has brown eyes too. She used to be about my size, but lately she's begun to gain a bit of weight. She's now a bit on the chunky side, but definitely not fat. And she's still pretty. She's also a ditz. I have no other way to say it. She stays with no-good Bryan and then complains about him and life all day long. I mean it, she sits at the kitchen table all day and whines and complains about him. And how they're going nowhere in life. How he doesn't help with the baby (which he doesn't), and how they have no money. But suggest a job to her, and she finds some way to deny it's possibility. She's just as lazy as Bryan though. I mean it's to the point where she blames it on the baby that she doesn't shower more than twice a week- She needs someone to watch him so she can shower, or clean the room. Oh, because you know a four month old can climb out of his crib, and walk out of the room, down the stairs, and out of the house. HE CAN BARELY ROLL OVER FOR MERLIN'S SAKE. Lazy bint.
David has brown hair, and matching eyes. He's average in height, and weight. The only thing with him is that he's just stupid. He spends his life high all day and playing video games. And when he's not, he's with his girlfriend Cara. She's got dyed brown hair, and green eyes, and she's on the chunky side. With the way she acts though, you'd think she was a supermodel or something. And You thought Pansy Parkinson was clingy and jealous? Hah. Hardly. She doesn't allow David to leave the house and go to his friend's two doors down, because his friend has a little sister, and he'll sleep with her while she's not there. And you know, he can't go to the mall because he'll sleep with someone in the middle of the mall. In front of all people, and security gaurds. She's insane, I swear. He's sixteen, and he just brought up moving in with her the other day. I was dumbstruck that anyone would WANT to move in within a hundred foot radius of the annoying bint.
Nathaniel has brown hair too, and brown eyes to match. He's small, and adorable in names of kids. He is easily the best of the group (besides baby Jake, whom I love despite the fact that I used to abhor babies. I love that little butthead. Even though he makes Tarzan noises now.). And he's six. And I have only a tiny fondness for kids. And I mean miniscule. But he's okay, because I've taught him manners. And I mean that I taught him. I refused to do anything or even listen to him unless he said please or thank you and behaved. He eventually got the hint, now he even does it with other people- and gives me credit. See, the mean big sister occasionally helps. He still never shuts up though. I wish I could teach him that. But alas, I've failed in that department. Miserably.
My sister has mine and my mom's naturally dirty blonde hair, except she has baby curls. And by that I mean her hair reaches her shoulders and it naturally in perfect, small, tight spirals. It's unfair, I tell you. She has mom's blue eyes too. The only downside to her is that's she's heavy. And even that isn't a downside, because I'll tell you my sister is beautiful anyway. She's one of those bigger girls who wears her weight better than most skinny girls. She's why I have no problem with people who aren't tiny. Because I've been the one to defend her when people called her fat, I've comforted her when she cried. We've always be close. The only thing bad about her, personality wise, is that she's dumb too. She's dating a boy for a year an a half, who has a three year old to another woman, and she spends all her money on the deadbeat. He has a job, yes, but he wastes the money he gets after he pays child support. And she pays to take them out to eat all weekend when she's down there (he lives and hour away.), and pays his phone bill and for gas when he occasionally comes up, and for his lunches through the week. And he does nothing for her. And annoys the hell out of her. But she continues to be with him. Excuse me for my lack of sympathy. But I love her anyway, she's my big sister, and I love her to pieces. We torment each other and we're close to the point where she'll be in the shower, or I'll be in the bathtub and the other one of us will still be using the toilet, right there in front of eachother. It's kind of strange actually.
The most insane thing in my life, however is that I'm a witch. No, I don't mean I'm exceptionally mean or that I have a long green nose and boil potions with cats and whatnot. I'm an actual sorceress. I go to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I'm about to go into my Seventh, and last, Year. I'm of legal age now to do magic outside of school too. Which I've put in good use packing my trunk for school tomorrow. It's really neat, and I was excited to find out I was one. I mean, my Mum's a witch, and so is my sister, so is David and we think Nate might be on the verge of being magical, but just us. It's really selfish of me, but I get a bit of pleasure over the fact that Ryan and Bryan are both non-magical. Because I hate them both. And it's like, IN YOUR FACE! HAHA! Sorry, I got a little carried away I guess.
But that's my insane family. We hate eachother half the time, but the other half we're having water fights, and jumping and pouncing eachother. We're bipolar, I swear. I'm the only normal one. And I'm not normal. Seriously. I'm MAGICAL. And that's not even the most of the insanity in my life. Because you've never even heard of my friends yet. And they're just as insane, except in a good way. Well, sometimes.
My best friend is Angela Marronge. I love that girl to pieces. She's the same height as me, and only like fifteen pounds bigger than I am. She's got chocolate brown hair that reaches down to just brush her shoulders, and she's got these hazel-green eyes. She's really very pretty, but she's a modest mouse, for sure. She denies being even slightly pretty, despite the fact that even at the current moment she has four different guys vying for her heart (and two for her pants). She's a hufflepuff, and definitely described one. Loyal, and friendly. Always caring about everyone- well, most of the time. Sometimes she's slightly vengeful. I can't say I'm not appreciative of that side on occasion...
My other best friend is Lyssander Scamander, and well, his brother Lorcan is too I guess. They entertain me endlessly. They both have blonde hair and bright blue eyes, however, Lyssander's hair is just slightly longer, and falls into his eyes, making him that much more attractive, whereas Lorcan's hair is shorter, and does that little point thing on his forehead, also attractive, but not as much. They're both tall and well built from being on the Ravenclaw Quidditch team (though it scares me that two people whose heads are always in the clouds are using bats to hit powerful bludgers at people. Seriously.). We have a blast when we're together, and really I don't talk to many other people from my own house, so all common room is spent with the barmy twins. Sometimes their talk of Nargles scares me slightly, but alas, they're still close to my heart.
I'm also fairly close to Rose Weasley. But only fairly, we're certainly not very best friends, but we do hang out on occasion in the library or at meals, and sometimes we read together down by the lake. Her Angela and I do talk a good bit though. But being as she's part of the Wotter clan, she's always busy with her family (and let me tell you- there are a lot of them. Their family is ginormous. Bigger than mine... times six. And that's horrendous.). She's got busy red hair, which she's finally begun to tame into voluminous waves, and she's got very pretty brown eyes, a spattering of freckles on her cheeks, and she's very petite. But don't let that fool you- She's the spawn of the devil when she's angry. That infamous Wesley temper most definitely didn't skip her.
The only other three people that you should need to know about are Scorpius Malfoy, Albus Potter, and Louis Weasley. Scorpius is tall, blonde, blue eyed, well built, and one of the chasers of the Slytherin Quidditch team. He's very attractive, let me tell you. But alas, he's been claimed by Angela. And they're perfect together. They're always fighting, but you can see it when they look at eachother, the underlying fire and passion that you read about in books. I can't say I'm not jealous of that. I mean, he's yummy. And despite being slightly arrogent, and having been a bit of a manwhore until last year, I get the feeling that he may be a closet romantic. Excuse me while I swoon. Angela can't even slap me for it, because she does the same thing.
Now, as for Albus Potter. He makes me swoon more than Scorpius does. That's saying something. He's got that deliciously short but shaggy black hair that falls right into those emerald eyes of his that are always sparkling- always. He wears glasses, but they look good on him. And he looks good. Yum. Anyway, he's rather tall too, at least four or five inches taller than my 5'3, he's fit from being the other chaser on the Slytherin team. Yes, that's right. Harry Potter's middle child is in Slytherin, please go on and rave about it just as the Daily Prophet does every time he's mentioned (which is fairly often). That doesn't mean he's a bad person. In fact, Albus is a complete and utter sweetheart. Occasionally he'll have his moments, but mostly he's just all around perfect. But unfortunately, despite that he makes me swoon... he isn't the boy I've had a crush on for the past two years. Infact, it's his cousin. Louis Weasley.
Louis. Now there is a boy who just the thought of makes me swoon. He's gorgeous, and I'm sure it has something to do with the fact that he's one-eighth Veela. He's just an inch or so taller than Albus, and just as fit- if not more so. He's got shaggy blonde hair that falls just slightly into his eyes, and tickles the ends of his ears. He's got these brilliantly sky blue eyes that sparkle brighter than any star I've ever seen. His arms are drool-worthy, as is his whole frame. Even the boy's nose is attractive, and I generally have problems with people's noses. But this boy is just gorgeous. And he's an absolute sweetheart too. He's nice to just about everyone, and he's always laughing and joking around, and I've been behind him walking into a room, and every time he'll hold the door open and send me one of those pearly smiles and I'll blush and send one back before skittering off to my seat. It's not my fault the boy's perfect. He's smart, and nice, and funny, and genuine to almost everyone (except those creepy girls that follow him around and stalk him and cling to him. Then he pretends to be nice but you can see the strain in his eyes or smile. I've saved him from them a few times by pretending a teacher had sent me to get him. One time, he kissed my cheek before he headed away. I swooned, I'm not kidding.).
Now here's where the insanity between my friends begins. Angela and Scorpius fight constantly, but are secretly in love. Rose has a crush on Scorpius aswell (but has begged me not to tell Ange), and Lyssander has a crush on Rose. Lorcan, my lovely Lorcan, is gay. He's actually got a huge crush on Jake Wood, who's unfortunately straight, and a good friend of Louis' (although Jake is cute too, almost identical to his dad, with short brown hair and toffee colored eyes.). And I've been crushing on Louis for about two years now. And I don't think he realizes that every time he talks or smiles at me I resemble a tomato (which I hate. They're disgusting.), and Rose has noticed enough that she tells me often in front of him that she wants me to marry into her family and be related to her so she'd have a normal cousin. Evil, she is.
That's the insanity of my life. My family's crazy, my friends are crazy, and I've gone crazy too. Oh, speaking of me, you probably want to know what I look like right? Since I've just described everyone else. Well, I've got naturally brown hair that reaches halfway down my back right now, and resembles a wavy, volumous poof unless I use a straightening or scrunching charm on it, and I've got copper eyes that turn pine green when I cry. I've yet to discover why. I'm not particularly athletic, and certainly am not built. I'm average in height and weight. I wear a size eleven in jeans, and I'm quite fine with that. I see no need to wear a zero, or starve myself. I have too much of an addiction to chocolate and marshmallows for that. So, there we are. Now, I think I'll head to bed as it's a half hour past midnight and I have to be up to catch the train. Which means I'll need to wake up at like six to be the first in the shower and get some semblance of hot water. Take that, you lousy hot water-using prats.