101 WAYS TO SAY THANKYOU

Summary: Everyone seems to be making fun of Hermione! What will Hermione do? She decides that the cause of trouble in her life is Severus Snape. How to solve her problem? Teach Snape how to be grateful for what he has! Will she succeed of just lose hundreds of house points?

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CH. 1 I AM NOT A HOPLESS (CAUSE) PERSON!!!!

"We show gratitude in many different ways in order to express to others how valued and appreciated they are in our lives. Most people learn how to say thank-you when they are young, yet adults allow the busyness of their schedules and the competing demands in their lives to crowd out the art of expressing gratitude." - smart styles 101 ways to say thank-you.

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Stalking down hallways and striding straight through the middle of people went Hermione Granger, doing a fairly good impression of Severus Snape. From the billowing cloak to the slicked-down greasy hair and furiously scowling face.

"Stupid twins! I am not a hopless-cause-hero! I'll show them I can do anything I put my mind to! S.P.E.W. may not be ready to take flight for a few more years, but there has got to be something I can do to prove I'm not a reclusive dunce!" Hermione growled under her breath. Unfortunately for her, not everyone scuttled out of her way like the students. She really was tempting fate by not watching where she was going. Never tempt fate, it always rises to the challenge.

"Ooomph!" she declaired as she smacked straight into something hard and black. She bounced backwards off the object and fell onto the floor. Papers fell down like ridiculously huge snowflakes around her as she stared at the thing...er...person she'd bumped into.

"Professor! My apologies! Accio papers!" Hermione gasped, before promptly handing the papers to her professor.

"Indeed, Miss Granger. Fifteen points for disrupting my schedult and scattering my papers." Snape sneered.

"But Professor! It was an accident!" Hermione protested.

"Fifteen more points for insubordination. Take a shower once in a while, Granger." Snape growled, before brushing past her and walking off.

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Yes, Hermoine was feeling very underappreciated and angry.

"Stupid git wasn't watching where he was going either!" Hermione grumbled. "He could've at least thanked me for gathering his papers." She thought out-loud to herself, disregarding the fact taht she'd been the one to scatter said papers in the first place.

"That's it! I'll teach Snape to be grateful instead of hateful! That'll show those twins! Scintillating Snape Snacks my foot! I'd like to turn them into a pair of weasels. Really, messing with people's food!" Hermione declared, not noticing the strange looks a couple of portraits were giving her.

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"Um... 'mione? We're really, really sorry about the prank! Let's take you to Madame Pompfrey to see if she can fix the side-effects." Gred ventured in a scared voice.

"What?!!!! You mean you can't stop me from looking like Snape?! You used an untested prank food on me?!!!!" Hermione yelped, starting to hyper-ventilate.

"Oh, no. That we can fix. The thinking...not so much so." Forge replied, stung at Hermione's insinuation that they hadn't made an anti-prank pill before using their Scintillating Snape Snacks on their little brothers' favorite girl.

"What do you mean 'the thinking'?!" Ron demanded, no doubt fearing his grades were in danger.

"Think about it, Ronnie-kins. 'Mione just said she wanted to 'help Snape be nice, polite and grateful'." Gred snapped back.

"Right, we'd best get her to Pompfrey right away." Harry declared. The twins, given their mission, launched themselves at Hermione without warning. Capturing the struggling girl, they moved slightly so Ron could immobilize her and then quickly carried her to the Nurse's office.

Once they'd settled her on one of the beds, the twins stood huffing under Pompfrey's disapproving gaze. They didn't wait till they'd caught their breath to explain, however.

"Madame Pompfrey..."Gred began.

"Accident...Prank...Mione..." Forge continued.

"Killed by Snape...needs help!" Gred announced.

"Mione's immobilized." Forge added helpfully. Rolling her eyes, Madame Pompfrey un-froze Hermione.

"Now, Granger, what non-sense are those two going on about now?" Pompfrey demanded.

"The twins pranked me and made me look like Snape...who I ran into afterwards, and it gave me the idea to show Professor Snape that he's not as alone as he thinks. If I could just teach him to be polite, then he's see others only really hate his attitude. Politeness, as everyone knows, starts with 'please's and 'thank-you's. I doubt anyone can teach him to say please, short of putting him at wand point. So I've decided to teach Professor Snape how to say 'thankyou'. They think I'm insane." Hermione replied, glaring at Fred and George.

"About time someone house-broke the man. I wish you luck, Miss Granger. Reverter." Pompfrey declared, waving her wand over Hermione and returning her back to her original form. Hermione smiled gratefully. She wasn't a beauty-queen by any stretch of the imagination, but she'd gotten used to her body once it'd developed over the summer vacation.

Now she stood at 5' 3", had long and straight hair, was slender looking, and had lightly tanned skin. She also had big brown eyes framed by long, dark, chocolate lashes. All in all, she wasn't hopeless, in her own opinion.

"As for you lot, your punishment is to help Miss Granger in her endeavor towards helping Snape by doing whatever she tells you too. And you are not to tell anyone else what she's trying to do. Let the secret slip one time, and three hundred points will be taken for ruining this venture. Oh, and as I've no doubt the younger Mr and Miss Weasleys and Potter were involved as well, this punishment will be shared with them also." Madame Pompfrey announced, before herding the children from the room.

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"What?!?" Ron demanded, horror stuck when a very happy Hermione made the twins tell the others the news. Glaring, Hermione turned so she faced the entire group.

"Our first task is to demonstrate the behavior we wish to teach. Fred, George." Hermione ordered, and the twins snapped to the 'attention' position in good imitation of soldiers.

"Yes sir! Er...Mam!...er...Sir! Yes SirMamSir! Tell us our mission SirMamSir! No one lives forever SirMamSir!" Both Twins declared in sync. Hermione rolled her eyes. It was a good thing they were having this meeting in the room of requirement. The twins would have immediately attracted too much attention.

"Since this whole thing started because of one of your ingenious potions, I'm going to have you make another as partial penance. I want one that will be invisible unless magically scanned. It's going to go on everyone's cup except our group, Snape, and Dumbledore's. I want it coded so only Snape is the target. Everyone will thank him politely for whatever he says directly toward them." Hermione explained.

"Why?" Ron asked thickly.

"Because most people learn to say thank-you when they're young, by watching their parents' examples. Snape clearly didn't learn this behavior from his parents, however. So we're going to have Hogwarts act as surrogate parents, in a way. They'll model the behavior for Snape, so he gets an idea of what is expected." Hermione responded patiently.

"No. I mean 'why' aren't we going to have it on our cups? Won't that make us look suspicous?" Ron corrected.

"Hmm. You're right. You lot won't be able to sincerely say thank-you to him. Alright put it on everyone's cup but mine, Snape's, and Dumbledore's." Hermione ordered.

"Yes SirMamSir!" The twins saluted before turning around and marching off.

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Severus Snape was, undoubtedly, confused. He'd sneered, snarkled, insulted, deducted points, assigned detentions, and even assigned extra homework! No matter what he did, though, everyone said 'thank-you'. That just didn't happen! Not to him, anyways. He was Professor Severus Snape, cruel greasy git of the dungeons! No one thanked him for anything, and he was proud of it! Until today, that is...

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"Good job, Luietenants! Mission well done! Phase 1: complete." Hermione announced, before realizing the twins were rubbing off on her. Saluting, Fred and George remained at attention but grinned like panthers — dangerous and thrilled by it. So far Hermione's plan had seemed like a good idea, other than it's objective, that is. What wasn't fun about giving the greasy git a headache?

"Now...for step two..." Hermione said, grinning in an almost evil way. Bouncing on their feet, the twins couldn't wait to see what Granger would make up next. Who knew Granger had a semi-devious streak in her?

The rest of the group watched nervously. They still weren't sure this plan wouldn't get them killed, and they'd never seen this side of Hermione before. It scared them.

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Well, that's all for this chapter. I hope you enjoyed it!!!!

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