Disclaimer: This is going to have to cover the entire story, just in case. We don't own anything other than Rosalie Harris, Seraphina Kemp, Hoghner Academy, and the plot.

Chapter 1: Why Rosalie Harris is Not Rosalie Hale

I walked up the old, worn cobblestone path to Hoghner Academy – in other words, Hell. I scurried quickly through the huge, wooden doors, and had just opened my locker, when my best friend Seraphina jumped onto my shoulders. If I actually called her Seraphina instead of Sara, she would punch me in the face and leave me to die, so don't tell her I called her that.

Sara is a Chinese-American girl of an average height, with brown hair that she dyed a bright teal last year and a dark crimson this year. The teachers hate her for it, but she doesn't give a flying chicken butt about what they say. She has brown eyes, and a tendency to trip on things. We've known each other for almost our entire lives, and she is a pretty random person. She has an obsession with marshmallows.

I on the other hand am Sara's polar opposite. Even though we're both random and sarcastic (as we're on our way to ruling the universe, so we need all the practice we can get), I'm a Franco-American girl with dirty-blond hair and pale green eyes. I like bacon. Franco means French, just saying.

Our first class was, as Sara calls it, the Room of Doom, or History. Neither of us like History, nor do we pay attention to the teacher, Mrs Parques, or Mrs. Pork-chop. Parques is said like "Parks" but no one cares.

Mrs Porky has this voice, like she's clenching her teeth and pinching her nose while she's talking. It's really funny, and on the first day, everyone had a good laugh about it, which happened to take up the entire class time. Now it's just plain aggravating.

Halfway through class today, Sara fell asleep, which unfortunately didn't go unnoticed by Mrs Porky, who proceeded to smack a ruler down on Sara's desk. Sara snapped to attention, wincing as Mrs Piggies shouted.

"Miss Kemp, what reason can you possibly have for falling asleep in my class?"

This, of course, caused all of the students to laugh behind their hands, Sara and I included, as Mrs Pork-chop continued with "Detention, Miss Kemp"

Sadly, (my day seems to be pretty sad by now) Mrs Pig Meat noticed that I was laughing, and gave me detention too.

"Rosalie Harris, what are you laughing at? Do you find this funny? Detention as well!"

Well, she was nice about it.

"Hey, Rose, is it weird that I just had a dream about angry pork?"

.*.*.*.

After a day of frustrating classes and cookies for lunch to boost our energy, as well as people telling us that we weren't pretty, falling over things and being as unlike Rosalie Hale as physically possible, Sara and I really just wanted to go to my apartment and be the goofs we really are, but we had detention. So, we stayed at school for another fifteen minutes.

Totally unaware of what danger we were in, Sara and I walked back to Mrs Piggies' classroom to start our detention, only to find this... thing. It had Mrs Pork-chop's face and clothes, but it was even more freaking hideous than she was. And behind her were two kids who were trying their best not to be noticed.

The boy had black hair and, I think, green eyes. The girl had blond hair and gray eyes, and another person had dark brown hair. I couldn't tell if it was a boy or a girl, because all I could see was the hair that stuck up from behind the desk he or she was behind. The two I could see were holding a sword or a dagger, which I thought was awesome, until I realized that they might stab me with them, and I quickly changed my mind.

So, of course I yelled/screamed when they charged forwards.