Disclaimer: I own nothing in relation to Harry Potter.

A/N: I found this half written little gem on my hard drive and thought I'd take out some of the swearing and bad language and re post it! It's completed now so there is no need to worry about the other fics. You can kinda see where some of my Ideas for Hippogriff fever came from in this nifty wee ficlet. I know why I stopped writing it… it was when I first started fan fiction and everything around me seemed to be pornographic and I didn't want to go down that road! Well this is got a little bit of dirt but no bulging members or bouncing globes you'll be glad to know! Hope you enjoy!

She practically rolled out of her bed, her eyes bleary with sleep. She looked in the mirror and sighed. Why did she have to look like her mother in the morning? She opened the curtains letting in the harsh daylight and exposing her pale make-up smeared face. It had been a rough night; she had been at Harry's 22nd birthday and had drunk far too much tequila.

Brush teeth first, she thought as she tasted the putrid dehydrated alcohol sticking relentlessly to her dry tongue. As she stomped through her flat the cold bit at her toes, he had to have stone floors, he thought they looked cool. The toilet was disgusting; someone had vomited on the toilette and had missed totally, getting the orange bile all over the seat and cistern. Small chunks of food stuck on the floor.

Four multicolored toothbrushes stuck out of the glass above the sink, she grabbed hers clumsily and splurged mint paste on it then ravished her tired mouth with the firm bristles. After spitting out the foamy mint saliva she wiped her mouth on the back of her hand. Jesus Christ she was feeling rough, if only she could find her fucking wand then at least she wouldn't have to touch the vomit to clean it up; she thought as she took out the pins that were still in her hair the night before, she found a certain culprit which had been jagging into her head while she slept. When her hair finally fell free from the small metal bars holding it up, with a shake of her head she was no longer her mother.

The giant thick curls which had been rolled into her head the day before, remained accept now softer. She loved it when her hair looked like this, she couldn't achieve this kind of look with magic. She suddenly realized what she was wearing; she prayed to god that the large male's shirt she was now wearing was Ron's or Harry's or even His, that wouldn't be so bad. She wasn't a slut she had three one night stands and had slept with Krum during her summer in Bulgaria, while staying with his family. She had been 17 and he had proposed to her. After he had taken her virginity he had burst into tears and told her he was mad about her and needed to marry her. She on the other hand was not impressed in the bed department by him nor did she love him. She had fancied him for a while and felt comfortable around him but she did not want to marry him. No way! She grabbed the make up wipes from the medical cabinet and hastily removed the smudged make-up revealing creamy skin underneath.

She heard a small Grunt coming from the bath she caught her breath; she did not have her wand so she grabbed the toilette brush. Slowly she reached her trembling hand out to the multi colored shower curtain. Her hand trembling she grabbed it and pulled it fiercely open. She sighed a breath of relief as she realised it was only Neville and Luna curled up in the bath sleeping. Cute; she thought as she watched there chests rise and fall in unison. Arms wrapped around each other lovingly, Luna's slightly abnormally large head resting on Neville's chubby chest. Neville's hand was lovingly entwined in Luna's hair. Hermione stood still staring at them, she grabbed a towel and through it over them covering them best she could. Then it dawned on her; Neville and Luna could have had sex in her bath. Ewe Neville and Luna were no longer cute now they were dirty shaggers.

Hermione disgusted trudged out of the toilette and headed back to her room, on her way she noticed people sleeping on couches and in the laundry basket. When she entered her room her fears were realised, there had been someone in her bed with her, not something that she was too happy about. She tip-toed towards the bed, praying that it was Ron or Harry underneath the blankets. She knew if it was one of them nothing would have happened. She couldn't be sure with the other one though he was forbidden fruit which made him even more juicy and scrumptious. Hermione slapped herself mentally for thinking such things. She intrepidly grabbed the sheet and yanked it back revealing a familiar ginger main with a vest and shorts on thank god. It was not Ron no it was George identifiable by the dragon tattoo on his shoulder, Fred had a griffin on his shoulder. The blurry memory of George collapsing on her bed exclaiming;

"Your fucking floor is a bastard to sleep on, cover yourself up or my actions will not be accountable for woman."

He had thrown Hermione his shirt as she had been sleeping in her bra and pants, too drunk to put her pyjamas on. Drunkenly she had indicated for George to turn round as she took her bra off with a sigh of relief and shoved his already buttoned shirt over her head. Georges turning round had not stopped him from getting a sneaky peak at her in the mirror though.

Hermione seeing her wand on the floor grabbed it then left George to sleep, continuing to walk through the flat in the long shirt and her thong only. 'Oh well they've seen me in less!' She thought as she sauntered to the kitchen hoping for a hot cup of coffee. Her nose suddenly became aware of the smell of cooking bacon. As she entered the kitchen she saw him standing in his boxers and a Pink Floyd t-shirt cooking a fry up:

"Morning!" he said not looking at her, sounding as bad as she felt.

"Morning Malfoy." She said yawning, he turned to look at her, he had not realized it had been her he just thought it was another drunken passer by.

"You want a bacon buttie Granger?" he asked indicating the crispy bacon spitting in the pan.

"Oh cheers mate that would be great! I'll stick on the kettle, you want some coffee?" she asked heading towards the kettle. As she passed by, her semi naked bum rubbed gently across his thighs. He inhaled sharply but covered it with a cough and a splutter.

"Yea coffee would be great!" he said not looking at her again.

"Shit do you know where the fucking coffee is?" she shouted looking over the cluttered surface for the gold and brown tin.

"Yea I think its right up on the top shelf, shit!" a large dollop of hot fat had leapt out of the pan and landed on his hand. Hermione seeing this ran to his aid forgetting her much needed coffee.

"Malfoy you need to run it under the tap!" she grabbed his hand and dragged him to the sink where she hastily turned the cold tap on and shoved his hand under. At the first feeling of the icy gushing water he had tried to pull his hand back Hermione kept a tight grip on it though, using her small body to shield him from his own hand. His whole torso was pushed against her back. The thought of pain was slowly ebbing out of his head and less innocent thoughts were flooding through his head. CRABBE NAKED his brain screamed.

"It's fine now!" he stammered trying to put as much distance between his and Hermione's bodies.

"If you're sure, god I really need coffee." She ran back to the cupboard; "on the top shelf you say!" she opened the cupboard and stretched on her tip toes searching for the beloved coffee tin. As she ebbed higher and higher so did the shirt which was covering her rear end. Draco forgetting the bacon turned to watch as the white cotton slid gracefully up the tanned milky skin revealing her bum. Her small pert bottom showing only slightly, then a little bit more then jackpot the whole shebang;

"Hermione, I know it's nice but cover your ass before Malfoy has a stroke!" …

TBC