Disclaimer: All characters and specifics of "Kidousenshi Gundam SEED" and "Kidousenshi Gundam SEED Destiny" are copyrighted Sotsu Agency, Sunrise and Mainichi Broadcasting. All rights reserved. This fanfiction is property of Shikami Yamino and is not intended for any monetary purpose nor an infringement of copyright laws. No one is to post/host/use any aspect of this fanfic without explicit permission from the author.
Notes: This is a piece that has been in the making for quite a while. Spawned by Athrun's request to use a mobile-suit during the Break the World incident in Destiny episode 5, and Talia's answer of "Do you intend to let former Chairwoman Canarba's hard-earned arrangements go to waste?"
What arrangements? Why were they hard-earned? And quite frankly, what exactly happened between Seed and Destiny so as to allow practically everyone from the Three Ships Alliance to live safely and undisturbed on Orb, albeit incognito, regardless of how high-profile some of them were?
I waited and waited for Fukuda and Morosawa to give me an answer but to no avail, so I decided to see what I could gather and infer from both series myself.
Kindly beta-ed by Neptune47.
This piece also forms part of what I consider my "Stay" continuum -- all fics of which are written to (hopefully) fit in with the canon timeline. So in a sense, I guess you could call this the sequel to "Stay" /grins/
Current lineup can be found at my fic journal and stands something like this:
Gundam Seed
--- Stay
--- Remnant (WIP)
--- Idyllic
--- Red
Gundam Seed Destiny
--- Selfish (WIP)
--- Vanilla
Kidousenshi Gundam SEED: "Remnant" -- Part 1 of 3
by Shikami Yamino
Two and a half months after the Second Battle of Jachin Due, it was an unusually cold and dreary early December morning that dawned over the Athha Estate. Overhead, dark clouds hung heavy and unsettled, obscuring the rising sun from view. Lightning lit the sky in sporadic intervals, threatening to split it wide open as thunder rumbled quietly in counter-point.
Over the vast, sprawling grounds of the Estate, gardeners turned up the collars of their overalls against the wind and hurried about their morning tasks. Inside, the maids cast assessing looks out the large windows before resorting to artificial lighting, busily shutting windows and closing doors in preparation for the inevitable downpour.
Despite the efficiency and diligence with which the staff of the Athha Estate applied themselves to their duties however, one room on the second floor remained conspicuously undisturbed.
Amongst the pillows scattered haphazardly around a bed that was rumpled beyond recognition, the owner of that room slept on, peacefully unaware of the oncoming storm. In contrast, the other occupant of the bed lay wide awake; her slender form curled protectively around her bed-mate, shielding him from the world.
With russet eyes fixed on the patch of dark sky visible through the glass balcony doors, Cagalli ran feather light fingers through the dark hair beneath her fingertips. Absently noting that the storm appeared to be closing in, she closed her eyes and sighed, shifting until her cheek rested comfortably against Athrun's dark head. And as his deep, even breaths brushed gently past her skin where his head was nestled trustingly in the crook of her neck, she took comfort in the fact that he remained blissfully asleep.
It had been a rough night.
She'd known, from the time they'd spent together aboard the Kusanagi and the Archangel, that Athrun was often plagued by nightmares. They varied in intensity, but he usually possessed enough self-control to contain them sufficiently so as to leave the people around him undisturbed.
As long as they weren't sharing a bed with him.
She'd lost count of the number of times she'd woken up to his restless tossing, his brow creased as he struggled against his inner demons.
Then, it had usually been an easy task to wrap him in her arms, murmur quiet nonsense in his ear and soothe him back into a dreamless sleep. But occasionally, there would be the ones in which there was no placating him, ones in which her presence simply wasn't enough to banish his formless tormentors and the only thing she had left was to hold him and ride it out with him.
Exactly when and where each of those occurred, she could remember with pinpoint accuracy -- because few things made her feel as helpless, or as worthless and weak. Almost as if she had never left the Kusanagi, screaming and struggling against the unyielding plexiglass as Onogoro and Kaguya were engulfed in flames before her very eyes.
The first time, they'd still been aboard the Kusanagi -- the night after Yzak and Dearka had transferred over from the Archangel. That day, the three ZAFT aces had sequestered themselves away for a period, undoubtedly discussing the next step to take. She didn't know what had been said and she hadn't felt it right to ask. But when they finally emerged, Yzak and Dearka had departed for PLANT alone; leaving behind the only other surviving member of the team that had originally infiltrated Heliopolis.
The second had taken place not long after they took up residence at the Athha Estate -- the night after Caridad Yamato had been brought to the Estate to share a tearful and heartfelt reunion with her son.
Her inability to sleep for long periods of time ever since she'd returned to Orb was a condition that she'd hoped to keep under wraps for a while longer. She knew Athrun suspected something from the way he studied her every morning at breakfast, but he had yet to call her on it, giving her ample opportunity to wander the balcony that connected his room and hers as she waited out those long hours during which sleep refused to claim her.
In the dead silence of the pre-dawn morning, despite the fact that they no longer regularly shared a bed, the familiar sounds of tossing and turning drifting from his room were practically impossible to miss.
And last night had made it lucky number three.
Feeling his breath hitch as he stirred, Cagalli tensed, her fingers pausing in their constant soothing motions. The arms wrapped around her waist tightened briefly, searchingly. Then, as if satisfied that she was still here, still with him as she'd promised countless times throughout the long night, Athrun subsided quietly back into unconsciousness.
Cagalli gave him a few more minutes to settle before gingerly pulling back just enough to catch a glimpse of the peaceful face that mere hours ago had been contorted in grief, in anger and in despair. Her amber gaze traced achingly over the tear tracks that marred his otherwise flawless features; testament to the anguish he refused to share with anyone about the friends he had failed to protect, the father he had failed to make see reason, and the loss of a mother he had loved above all else.
She had told him time and time again that it wasn't his fault -- they'd been at war, he had done his best and could have hoped to do nothing more. Each time, he would give her that self-deprecating little smile and reply that he knew, that he just needed to try harder to remember that fact, after which he would swiftly change the topic.
Though she never contradicted him, still unsure of her welcome into his private thoughts, she was nonetheless well aware that not once had he ever told her the truth.
Oh, he thought he was telling the truth. Athrun Zala would never consciously lie; it was a trait that just wasn't in him. But if he would be honest with even himself, he would have to admit that he didn't know. Because deep down, he still believed that he could have made a difference; still agonised over the millions upon millions of possibilities that could have transpired had he merely chosen the other fork in the metaphorical road.
And Cagalli was at a loss as to how to make him see otherwise.
A particularly loud crack of thunder drew her from her thoughts just in time to see the rain finally come sheeting down. Eyes fixed on the storm raging outside the balcony doors, Cagalli was reminded of another storm that took place nine months ago, on a small deserted island in the middle of the Indian Ocean.
Their first meeting could never be termed amicable by any stretch of imagination. They had tried to kill each other after all. Repeatedly. There was even a faint scar on Athrun's right arm from where her first shot had grazed him to prove it.
Yet it was that hostility, that anonymity and that distrust that had precipitated their understanding of each other. They hadn't known each other, there was no point in sugarcoating their words. They'd each thought the other to be their enemy, there was no need to consider the other's feelings when they aired their views.
But even then, he'd been the mature one; calmly and collectedly putting an end to the debate when she would have happily continued until one of them was rescued. Granted, his exhaustion at the time may have contributed significantly to that abrupt cease fire.
Cagalli smiled faintly at the memory, closing her eyes to once again rest her cheek against Athrun's hair.
He had been so sure of himself back then. So righteous. So supremely confident in what he was doing and where he was going.
He was fighting the Earth Alliance to protect PLANT. He was fighting to end the war. He was fighting to ensure that what had happened to his mother would never happen to anybody else ever again.
The war had robbed him of that surety.
Just as it had stolen so many other things from him, it had taken his confidence as well. First Kira, and then his father. Together they'd shaken the very foundations of what Athrun had held until then to be the absolute and undeniable Truth. So much so that he had thought it best to disappear as penitence for his 'failures'.
The smile melted from Cagalli's face at that particular memory: screaming his name, desperately chasing after him as he plunged himself into GENESIS's core. Afraid of losing him. Afraid of yet another important person leaving her behind in a burst of flames.
She shivered, unconsciously tightening her arms around her bed-mate.
She never wanted to go through that again.
Another brilliant bolt of lightning lit the dark sky directly outside the balcony doors, starkly illuminating the room in brief flashes before throwing it back into muted darkness. And despite Cagalli's best efforts, the deafening echo of the thunder that followed was enough to rouse Athrun from his featureless dreamscape.
The heavy exhalation that brushed past the collar of her pajama shirt was accompanied by the shift of his body against hers as he stretched. Registering the other presence in the bed mid-stretch, his body tensed for that mere fraction of a second before he realised that it was her form curled around him. And with that realisation came his ever-present concern for her health and well-being as he settled himself once more, resigned to lay there with her for as long as she remained asleep.
Curbing her instant irritation with the weather that had interrupted Athrun's sorely needed slumber, Cagalli sighed and brushed her lips tenderly over his forehead, tacitly informing him of her consciousness.
Athrun responded with a soft answering sigh that tickled the sensitive skin of her neck before proceeding to rub gentle, apologetic circles on her back.
He rarely remembered his nightmares, the few lingering traces of them usually dissipating as quickly as the darkness that yielded to the morning light. But Cagalli's presence and the destroyed state of his bed told him all he needed to know about how bad his nightmares had been that night; especially since he had apparently been making enough noise to rouse her from her bed in the next room.
"I'm sorry..."
It was a phrase that had almost become routine after one of these nights. But it was the sincerity in Athrun's voice, every time it was said, that made Cagalli pull him closer and shake her head in denial.
"It's all right," she murmured into his dark hair, repeating the same thing she had told him over and over again throughout the long night. "I'm here. I've got you."
With that, the pair lapsed into silence; content to simply lay there, taking comfort from each other's presence as the storm raged on outside.
It was the insistent beeping of Athrun's comm-unit that finally disturbed the almost tangible peace that had settled over the room.
Shaken rudely out of her half-doze, Cagalli grumbled a few unintelligible curses under her breath at the poor soul who had the misfortune of being on the other end. Beside her, Athrun chuckled lightly before pulling himself reluctantly from her arms and reaching for the gadget still beeping away obnoxiously on the nightstand.
"Hello?"
"Good morning, Athrun."
Athrun frowned, sitting up at the sound of the other's level voice. "Kisaka?"
The bed shifted beneath him as Cagalli also sat up at the mention of her mentor's name.
"Is something wrong?"
"Is Cagalli there with you?"
"Uh..." A quick flush stole over his features as he darted a look at Cagalli's pajama-clad form perched atop his rumpled bed, head cocked at him in a questioning gesture. "Yes..."
"Good," Kisaka replied, surprising Athrun with the relief and concern that warred with the ever-present professionalism in the older man's voice. "A message was just patched through from Aprilius One. Chairwoman Canarba has requested to speak with both of you at eleven hundred hours, Orb time, today."
The curious look on Cagalli's face melted into one of anxiousness as she watched all color drain from Athrun's features. She was already reaching for him when he uttered a quiet "Thank you, I understand" into the receiver and let it fall from his hand.
"Athrun..."
He didn't answer her.
Head bowed over the comm-unit that rested, deceptively innocent, in his lap, he didn't even appear to hear her.
"Athrun!"
Shifting to place herself directly in front of him, Cagalli braced a hand on his knee as she leaned forward to be able to look up into his face. "Athrun? What did Kisaka say?"
He offered her a small smile, seeming to come back to himself as he lifted his head and reached out to clasp her hand in his. But even with that smile, those emerald eyes she had learned to love were dull and flat.
"The Chairwoman requested a meeting for eleven hundred today. I guess the Supreme Council finally made a decision."
Cagalli's eyes widened for a fraction of a second before she bit her lip and looked away, her one free hand clenching around a fistful of the bedsheets until her knuckles turned white.
Then, mentally giving herself a rough shake, she turned back and sought Athrun's eyes again.
"It'll be okay," she insisted, willing him to believe her.
Because she believed it. Because she had to believe it.
She wouldn't lose him.
Never again.
His smile grew a little, drawing strength from the determination burning brightly in her eyes as he gave her captive hand a gentle squeeze.
"I know..."
End Part 1... to be continued.
End Notes: Any comments will, as always, be appreciated. Coming up, it's just one big conspiracy theory /grins/