7PM, Friday, 31 December

"Brittany, if you don't come out of this bathroom in the next ten seconds, I'm going to break down the door and physically remove you from it."

Santana crossed her arms and stood in front of the door tapping her foot, her dark eyes shooting angry promises at the wood. Brittany's soft voice was strained.

"But San, my eyeliner doesn't want to cooperate tonight... I think it's mad at me because I've been using the brown one."

Rachel raised her eyebrow and glanced up from the magazine she was perusing at the foot of her bed. Santana's shoulders dropped and her eyes narrowed as she looked at the unrelenting door with disbelief, then closed them slowly - as if she was drawing from a slowly depleting stock pile of patience.

"TEN... NINE... EIGHT..."

The door cracked open slowly and Rachel could see Brittany peeking her face out as she whimpered to Santana.

"You know the counting game isn't fair. I always get mixed up and I can never figure out how much time I have left."

Rachel snorted and Santana shot her a look which prompted her to bury her attention in the magazine again.

Santana pushed her way into the bathroom and Rachel caught a snippet of their conversation as the door was being closed.

"Sweet heart, this is not your eyeliner. This is a pen."
"Oh..."

Rachel closed the magazine and stood, sighing softly. She pulled her phone out of her pocket and glanced at the time. It was T minus five hours until New Years. She should have known better than to offer to be the designated driver for Brittana. In terms of time and dedication, their hair and make up regimen far exceeded the grueling process professional musicians endure before a big concert.

She pocketed her phone again and made her way downstairs, grabbing a bottle of water out of the fridge. She uncapped it and took a long, slow drink, before leaning back against the counter, allowing herself the opportunity to get lost in thought.

Several weeks ago, she made the decision to call a few of her old friends from Glee to invite them to a New Years in New York reunion. In the five years since they graduated high school, most of the once-close members had slowly lost contact. She smiled to herself as she recalled the journey through time she had made while getting back into touch with her fellow Glee-sters.

Brittany and Santana landed a gig on a Disney cruise ship, and spent quite a bit of their time completely off the country. When she was finally able to get a hold of them, Santana almost leapt at the opportunity to have her feet on solid ground and away from screaming children for a few weeks. Her voice sounded muffled, as if she was covering the mouth piece to avoid getting a heart-melting look from Brittany, and she confided in her that if she had to sing "Can You Feel the Love Tonight" one more time she was going to vomit.

Artie moved to Toronto, and within a few years she was watching his name scroll across the screen underneath the word "Director" at the Sundance Film Festival. Mercedes hired a well-connected agent, and spent several months on tour as a back up singer for Beyonce before branching off to work on an album of her own. They both opted out, citing family plans. Finn took over the Hummel shop after Burt retired, and was happily serving the automobile needs of Lima customers while seeing a petite blonde who owned a book store in town.

In a strange twist of fate, Puck was arrested for breaking and entering and was ordered by the judge to either serve four years in jail, or four years in the Army. After the recruiter convinced him his ability to pick up girls would increase exponentially if he was wearing a uniform that didn't have "Ohio State Penitentiary" scrawled across the back, he shaved off the 'hawk and opted for the high and tight. She received several horribly misspelled but endearing letters while he was in basic training, and then quite a few more as well as some staticky phone calls while he was deployed to Afghanistan. He finally completed his four year enlistment several weeks ago, and was itching to get back out on the scene. He hooked back up with Finn in Lima and they both took her up on her offer, deciding to make a road trip out of it.

Mike and Tina had fallen almost completely off the radar, until she was able to finally track them down via Mrs. Chang. They were happily married, and owned a dance studio in New Jersey that was only a train ride away. Mike accepted her invitation before the line had disconnected - it sounded like he was being attacked by tiny dancing bandits.

Taking another sip of water, she thought about her own personal journey. Herself and Kurt moved to New York to chase down their dreams of spotlights and fame. For the most part, they had succeeded. After four torturous years of classes and training, auditioning and failing, taking every possible call back in an attempt to beef up their resumes, and then finally getting that one phone call that opened the door into the future for them - they made it. They were living the dream.

Only... it felt different than she imagined. She loved performing. She loved the stage - the audience, the connection she feels when she's pouring her heart out and the tears are flowing and the hands are clapping... but in the back of her mind she had this tiny voice, this nagging feeling that something was still missing. If you asked her her Junior year of high school, she would have told you without batting a single eyelash that being on stage was the only thing she needed to be the happiest person in the world. But now... something was holding her back from finding the true happiness she was searching for. Or should she say... someone.

She closed her eyes and sighed softly, resting her hands on the countertop behind her, as if to brace herself for the flood of emotions that were sure to break over her the second she thought about it. They carried her on a tidal wave of memories, into a part of her past that not only confused the hell out of her, but made her question many of the decisions she made in the ensuing years.

Graduation Night, Senior Year, The Fabray Home

"WHOOOOOOOOO!" Puck screamed as he was hoisted on the shoulders of several football players, pounding a fist in the air and sloshing half the contents of a suspicious looking drink onto the kitchen tile. "We're done baby!"

This was the sight that greeted Rachel as she ventured further into the Fabray home. No one had answered the door bell, and she now understands why. The place is packed with more than a hundred teenagers - a DJ and an enormous sound system were set up in the living room, and a bass line that was giving her heart palpitations shredded through the crowd of grinding graduatees. She should have been duly forewarned by the girl passed out on Quinn's porch and the guy puking all four of his high school years out into Mrs. Fabray's rose bushes.

She gingerly stepped through the crowd in an attempt to make it to Puck. He may not look entirely sober, but the big oaf was one of her best friends and he would be able to tell her how to go about having fun while maneuvering this cluster of madness, and at the same time keeping her dignity intact.

She sighed as she was yet again pushed towards the wall by a group of moshing trolls. She was beginning to heavily regret her decision to attend this fiasco. She's certain the surprise on her face was heavy when Quinn extended the offer for her to attend the graduation party, because Quinn instantly tacked on "I'm pretty much inviting the whole senior class. Don't worry, my mother won't be there. She apparently decided to let her irresponsible teenage daughter throw an irresponsible teenage party to make up for my dad kicking me out. It'll be loads of fun. I'm sure you'll have a blast."

You could cut her sarcasm with a knife. Rachel furrowed her eyebrows and watched her walk away.

She'd been dealing with her feelings for Quinn for three years now. She had zero idea what they meant, or if she was even having them, or if perhaps she was just jealous of her. At first... she thought she wanted to be Quinn. But too many things weren't adding up for her.

Jealousy didn't make her heart feel like it was going to pound out of her chest everytime they came into contact with each other. It didn't make her eyes wander towards Quinn during rehearsal. She wasn't watching her to pick up dance moves. She was just watching her dance.

And one afternoon it just struck her. Graduation was several days away, and she was laying in bed contemplating the past four years. Thinking about mistakes she'd made, things she wished she could change and do over. She thought about accomplishments that she was proud of, and the friends she had made. Or... sort of made. Her mind frustratingly turned to Quinn, as it always did when she was trying to concentrate on ANYthing else. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, thinking about the way her eyes lit up when she was singing. The way she smiled when she was genuinely happy, and not just trying to hide pain. The way her ass looked when she was...

Rachel's eyes popped open and she sat straight up, staring at the wall across from her. She realized that she wasn't thinking about Quinn's toned body because she wanted to be Quinn Fabray.

She just... wanted Quinn Fabray. In ways she had never wanted Finn Hudson.

The meltdown was epic in its proportions.

The first thing she did was call her token gay. After barreling through her hysterics, Kurt managed to glean the words "amazing eyes," "Quinn," and "lesbian" from her. He made it to her house with ambulance-like speed and spent the next five hours passing her tissues with wide eyes and soft words.

At the end of Hiroshima, he sat her down and looked into her eyes.

"Listen to me, honey. For a lot of people, admitting they have feelings for someone in that way can be very difficult. For others it can feel... freeing. But for many, it feels like your whole world has been flipped upside down and you don't even know where to stand anymore." She sniffled and nodded, listening intently. "If I were in your position, I would want to know for sure. "

She made a confused face and glanced towards her computer. "What, is there some kind of test I can take..? Fifty ways you know you're gay..?"

Kurt quickly redirected her focus back to his face. "Chica, pay attention. It's not a choice you have. It's not a phase. It's a lifestyle. Sure, it's about attraction. It's about what you like, what you want. But most importantly, it's about who you LOVE. Who puts a smile on your face when there's no happiness to be found. Who makes you wake up in the morning with a will that drives you to get out of bed and face the day. Who makes your mind race, your heart pound. THAT'S what this is about. And when you find that person, you have to realize that it doesn't matter what gender they are. If you let them go because of something neither of you have control over, you're setting yourself up for heartbreak for the rest of your life."

Kurt's words echoed in her mind as she pressed herself up against the wall to avoid being crushed by the herd. She closed her eyes and took a few slow, deep breaths to avoid panicking - partly from the crush of graduated student flesh, and partly from the emotions roiling through her.

She inhaled deeply and got a wiff of hot, alcohol heavy breath near her face. She opened her eyes and slowly turned her head to the left, coming toe to toe with an extremely drunk basketball player.

"Oh, God."

"Hhhaaay babeee... y-you don't haff to call me gawd, jeremy works t-tooo." He gave her a lopsided grin as he leaned against the wall heavily and tried to take her hand.

She stared at him in horror, then silently thanked God for the mutant lungs He saw fit to endow her with.

"PUCKERMAAAAAANNNN!"

Puck promptly fell off the couch he was trying to dance on. His head popped back up over the crowd as he searched for the sound of the ethereal voice. When his eyes finally caught sight of Rachel pinned against a wall next to a basketball player who was standing WAY too close, he cut through the party crowd like a shark through water.

Completely ignoring the inebriated athlete, he reached down and picked Rachel clean up off of her feet.

"Come on hot Jew princess, let's ditch this party! You don't wanna hook up with Jeremy anyway, I heard he's got the herp."

He quickly carried the speechless brunette out onto the mercifully empty back patio and deposited her in a lawn chair.

After reorienting herself with the direction up and fixing her fly away hair, she sighed and shook her head as she buried her face in her hands.

"Oh goodness, Puck. This is crazy. How do you manage to do this every weekend?"

He grinned at her and stood, flexing his biceps and pouting his lips.

" 'Cos the Puckzilla's got Puckskillas!"

She rolled her eyes and shook her head. He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a bottle of beer, tipping it back and finishing it off. She blinked and watched him with mild disgust. He chucked it deep into the massive property behind the Fabray home and turned back to her.

"I'm gonna go grab another beer and get you some water. You gonna be alright here for a few?"

She nodded and smiled at him gratefully. She heard a sharp burst of noise as the door back into the house opened and closed again.

She closed her eyes and sunk deeper down into the chair, putting her elbows up on the arm rests and propping her head up on her hand as she sighed.

This was crazy. Why did she even come here? Under what vague pretense did she really convince herself that it was a good idea to hop aboard the crazy train as it was crashing into the side of a mountain? Did she really think the outcome of her telling Quinn how she felt was going to end in something other than violence and religious slurs? Did she really thin-

Then... the world got very confusing, very quickly.

She was yanked out of her deep thoughts by the landing of a person's body square in her lap. A giggling person, with no shoes on and short, choppy blonde hair. She froze completely and tried to process what was occuring.

Said giggling person proceeded to curl up into a ball in her lap and rest her head on the brunette's shoulder, one arm tightly cradling a bottle of Grey Goose while the other reached up to wrap itself around Rachel's neck. The person interrupted the giggling session to murmur sleepily into Rachel's ear.

"Rupaul, baby... 'chu doin on my patio pretenin' to be lawn furnture... Yer hair smells good."

And with that lovely anecdote, Quinn unceremoniously passed out.

On Rachel.

Whose heart was pounding so fast, she considered following suit.

What the HELL just happened?

Author's Note: So here we go! A real chapter that sort of looks like the beginning of something and not just a disjointed scene in the middle of something. I put the song lyrics up as the introduction to replace the previous post, but not to worry! It will reappear in the future. It will more than likely be somewhat different as well, so you're not spoiled on it.
Anyway, please leave me feedback!
Also, I love writing drunk people. So fun.

~An Insomniac