I Won't Let You Go; Stelena

Takes place in 3x12 when Elena tells Stefan about the kiss between her and Damon.

Stefan POV

Elena struggled to get the wooden chips from my chest, the one threatening to enter my heart. The pain was excruciating, feeling the scraping against my body. Elena hovered over me as I lie here on the ground, grunting in pain.

"Just get it out Elena! Please, just get it out" I managed to say as I struggled to breathe properly, leaning up closer to her face.

"Keep squirming and I might feel sorry for you" Elena spoke back forcefully. I could feel her fingers trying to dig deeper into my wound until I felt a rough tug and she held up the bloody wood chip. I looked at it, breathing deeply with a sigh of relief as the pain disappeared.

I looked up at Elena as she dropped the wood chip to the ground. Looking at her now, she looked and felt stronger; I felt my emotions threatening to surface. I was almost proud of her for being able to take such a risk, a stand against someone.

"You've changed. Something's different about you; you're stronger, tougher..." I mentioned to her, still partially lying on the ground beside her.

"You're not the only one that changed Stefan. We all had to..." She managed to say to me, looking far away and distant. I could tell by her breathing and her voice that what I said surprised her. I smiled at her answer.

"It's good though." I told her as I watched her face look down to the ground. She didn't know what to say to me. This is the closest I've been to her since Klaus had me compelled that night in the school. She didn't know whether or not to be close to me or continue to forget me, and I had no one to blame but myself.

Looking at her now, above me, I couldn't help but feel the emotions I always felt when I was around her. Elena was everything to me, but she was also destroying me. I loved her so much that looking at her hurt. Seeing her face and everything I've done and put her through... I couldn't go back to her after that, no matter how much I wanted to and right now... I really wanted to.

"There's something I have to tell you." Elena finally met my eyes, and I looked into them knowing it would be something bad.

"And not because I feel guilty that it happened, because I feel guilty you don't know..." She looked back down to rip another chip from my chest. I looked up at her, feeling terrible for her struggle.

"...I kissed Damon."

I watched her eyes look away from me as she finished, knowing that if she looked at me she wouldn't be able to hold it together. The pain that had disappeared had come back ten times worse. I could feel it building up in my chest, trying to break me apart. I looked away from her beautiful face, not wanting her to see the terrible hurt in my eyes. I had done this, I pushed them together. All the blame for this moment, their kiss fell onto me and my actions.

We sat their silent, neither of us wanting to say anything or knowing what to say. What could I possibly bring up? That I love her still? That every moment I spent away from her, I wanted to die? Our memories, our love had been the only thing to keep me going this past while. I no longer had the right to be mad about this, I let her go; I pushed her away.

I could feel her eyes upon me and finally I had the strength to lift my head slightly up towards her. I felt her pat my chest and tell me she was done. I couldn't help but wonder if she just meant getting the chips out of my chest or with me finally. I lifted myself off the ground and started to walk towards the house, leaving her behind me.

I stood at my car, looking at the road in front of me. I could hear Elena walking up behind me, I didn't know how to face her, how to deal with this situation before us.

"Stefan...Say something. Please." She breathed deeply behind me. I closed my eyes and tried to sort out all the thoughts in my head.

"I shouldn't have kidnapped you." I managed to get out as I turned around to look at her. "The car... The bridge, it was too far."

"Thank you." She told me. This is something we both didn't know how to deal with.

"But you shouldn't have lied to me today. You can't go off and do things like that Elena, not while Klaus is still alive." I didn't know if I was telling her this because it was the truth or because I couldn't handle her getting hurt. I was unsure of so many things lately; I was looking track of my thoughts.

"I know. I just wanted to give Bonnie a moment with her mother, without everything else getting in the way."

"Without me getting in the way..." I could see Elena's face change, knowing I was partly right, but wrong at the same time. I couldn't take my eyes off her, this strong but always venerable woman standing in front of me. The pain in my chest was only getting worse, until I could hold her again and call her mine. But that... that what never going to happen, she belonged to Damon now, she made a choice.

"I didn't plan on kissing him." I knew she felt sorry for me.

"I know Elena... Things are different now, I can't be mad, you aren't mine anymore."

I could feel the tears come to my eyes. I hated that no matter how much I didn't want to feel I still did. I'd always feel for her, for us. I destroyed us, I destroyed the part of her that loved me and I had to live through forever with that.

I brought my eyes back to hers, knowing the risk of letting her see my emotions but I couldn't help this moment we had here right now. I looked into her beautiful brown eyes that showed her soul, the ones that always haunted my dreams. Elena was shocked, shocked at me and my words.

"I haven't chosen him Stefan... I could never choose him." Elena told me with tears in her eyes too.

"I don't deserve you anymore Elena. You can move on with him, you can be happy with him." As much as it tore me apart to tell her that, it's the truth. What could I possibly offer her now?

"I don't want to move on and be happy with him Stefan. " She whispered.

"What do you want then Elena...?" Asking this question was dangerous. It could either be so wrong or so right, but was I strong enough for either.

My mind, my heart was screaming for her to come back to me, to love me. I came back to this town to start a life with her, I still wanted it, needed it. The only life I wanted to have was with her in it, with her beside me.

"You know what I want Stefan. I want you, us."

I didn't even have time to think about what this would change but I didn't care. I looked deep into her eyes, walked around the car door and touched her lips to mine. Feeling that need, the warmth was the only thing I needed forever. Only Elena could make me feel these emotions, and I wouldn't want it any other way.

I released her, letting us both breathe. She looked deep into my eyes, questioning my actions but loving the moment. Elena opened her mouth to speak, but before she could I put my finger to her lips and brought my lips to her ear to whisper...

"I'm home..."

Even if it sounds crazy, darling I won't let you go.

Hope you liked it! As aways... R&R =) 3