Disclaimer: Do you see Sasuke and Naruto making out? What about Kakashi and Iruka banging each other? No? Then I don't own Naruto.
A/N: Completely pointless drabble.
Once upon a time there was beautiful little village hidden on all sides by many leafy trees. The village was named Konohagakure, or "the Village Hidden in the Leaves", which was actually quite a clever name, considering that the village consisted of ninja who placed more weight on throwing sharp objects than creating interesting names. (Except for Gai, who would have named their little town 'The Lovely Village of Eternal Beauty Hidden in the Golden Light of Youth', but that's another story.)
Now in this little village there lived a certain little ninja named Naruto who always tried to be good. In fact, he tried so hard to be good that more often than not he was very not good. This caused his little ninja-fellows to smack him on the head with the nearest blunt object. Naruto still loved his little ninja-friends, though, even if Sasuke was incapable of forming complete sentences and Sakura had a slightly psychotic inner personality.
Little Naruto was an orphan, but he had two senseis that took very good care of him. Iruka always tried to keep Naruto out of harm's way, and Kakashi, who knew there was no 'out' of harm's way for a ninja, taught Naruto to defend himself in the way of harm, because harm was quite the nasty one to be in the way of, truth told.
Now Naruto was not a stupid little ninja, but he did wonder why Iruka-sensei blushed whenever Kakashi-sensei opened his little orange book. He often put this question to Sasuke and Sakura, but Sasuke, being cursed with monosyballic tendencies, would only say, "Hn." Sakura on the other hand became starry-eyed and began to squeal; the only words Naruto could make out before he covered his ears were "yaoi", "seme", and "uke."
Although Naruto did not know what these strange words meant quite yet--Sasuke would make him aware of such things when they were older--he did know that something must be going on between his two senseis, and set about discovering just what it was about Kakashi-sensei that made Iruka-sensei blush.
He accomplished this plan by creating a doppleganger, which was perhaps the only jutsu that he had managed to fully control, and somehow getting his original self tangled in a tree. When Kakashi-sensei left his book lying on the ground to go rescue him, his doppleganger rushed in and stole the material.
After training, little Naruto proudly displayed to Sasuke and Sakura his prize. Sasuke cocked an eyebrow and said, "Thief."
"Believe it," grinned Naruto, as he opened the tiny orange book to the page held by what Naruto thought to be a bookmark.
Sakura promptly began to squeal, Sasuke's eyes widened a fraction of an inch, and Naruto dropped the book as if he had been burned.
"Iruka-sensei! How could he!" cried Naruto, throwing his hand back onto his forehead in a mock swoon.
Back at his apartment, Kakashi was pacing the floor, wondering who had stolen Icha Icha Violence part II...and whether they were enjoying the pictures he kept as a bookmark.
A/N: Absolute nonesense, eh? I'd appreciate reviews of the non-flammatory variety.