Title: All Cold and Alone
Author: Cat Lea (Ravensgurl41@aol.com)
Rating: R for implied M/M and Death
Disclaimer: Don't own the people only the feelings so please don't sue. Also don't know what they like and don't really care because this is how I am writing it. Sick mind of mine is all I can say. Make nothing from this only pleasure is reviews and being able to write different types of stories.
Story Summary: This is a one shot of Raven's Feeling which he wrote in a letter about a week or so after being betrayed by The Gathering.
Author Notes: Well I guess that my Raven muse is still angry or maybe just dark and brooding so I am just going with it. I also blame Lizard because she was listening to Evanescence, which got me writing all of these fic this week. Dark music but great for writing. Also though these make her cry she is still my number one fan who must read everything I write. And without whom I would not be writing.
All Cold And Alone
As I once more wake up way too early from a sleep that I took way too late I can feel the cold and loneliness before my eyes even open. For sleep will not come and even worst it will not stay since that fateful night. So I wake up once more to this emptiness not only in the room that I sleep but also to this heart of mine so hollow and cold. For I am all alone in some many ways if not in all ways now. So empty I am that without them here in my room and my heart it hurts as if I will never be whole again. For I was only whole with them here. So with paper and pen I know what I know I must do. And I must do it now for I can't take it any longer being cold and alone. For my loves your betrayal there in the center of the cage I could have handled. And I would have forgiven you both if you had just let me. If you just could have forgiven me for not realizing what I was doing to you and your love. But the lost of you here in our bed I can not take nor for the lost of the love that is gone. The need I feel when I awake with out you in my arms is just too much more then I can stand. For now I am all alone and cold without you. I know that some how you are right that it was my entire fault. That this lost of you I had caused and only have myself to blame. That I had let you think that I was throwing you away. Pushing you out of my life as I have everyone else who ever mattered. Though I never was nor would I ever have. And for I never would have wanted this cold and lonely place back once more in my heart. I know that your heart must also be cold for you to turn to him to hurt me as afraid of him as you are. So this is what I have caused this pain and loneliness. I know of no way to fix this for if I did I would have done it already. For how can I fix any thing if you can't even stand the sight of me as I stand in front of you? The hatred in your eyes tells me all that you are feeling and seeing. As I know mine are telling you the same. For now we have all gone cold and alone on the inside. So I know what I must do as I rise from this bed. A bed that once was yours and mine to share. A place of love that now has turn cold and alone. So cold that the loneliness has frozen my heart from beating another beat with out your love to warm it. This once warm place where you were happy and made me feel as if you always would be mine only makes it worst. Because this was ours place where you told me your dreams. Dreams of always being together. And this was our place where I told you my fears. Fears of always being all alone and cold. This was a place that we all were safe, safe from the world or those who wanted to hurt us. A room where there once was happiness before I made you feel as if I didn't love you or want you. Both of which I want so bad that it hurts. So as I come back with this bottle to numb my mind and to end this pain that I know that I caused. To swallow these pills I hold along with my tears for a love lost. A love that I got rid of but didn't realize I was doing it till it was to late. For I loved you but somehow I just could not let you stay so close though I want you nothing but close. So once more I will lay myself down up this cold and lonely place. To a heart that hurts as I slowly turn cold from the inside out. For my finally time I will think of you my loves. For I do love you CM Punk and Julio Dinero like none other nor could I ever love another like you. I will watch over you and someday hope that you will forgive me for causing you this pain. For with me gone you will once more be safe. Safe to love and be loved. Because to Quoth the Raven. I can hurt you both Nevermore.
Love, Raven
Author Notes: Sorry I can't get away from these types of stories so I will just have to ride them out. Also sorry it is so short. This one is a one shot. Love reviews even if you have to flame me. But please be nice about it. Thank to all my friends who have been so sweet. So please Read and Review.
Thanks, Cat Lea Ravensgurl41@aol.com