I was only mere seconds-no, milliseconds- away from slapping my mother silly. I really cannot believe her right now. She's forcing me to do this after everything that has happened between Cameron and I recently?
Oh sweetie, it's a tradition to celebrate your birthdays together!
She had cooed at me like I was a baby once again. I really didn't give a shit if it was a tradition or not, the boy broke my heart and didn't even care! So now I have to go and pretend that everything is okay and have a miserable birthday? Life is simply not fair.
"I don't see why you're making such a huge deal about it." Anna, Cameron's sister and my best friend, spoke as we hung out at my place.
"Because it is a big deal, he broke my heart and he didn't even care." I reminded her for about the millionth time in the last two months.
"He does care, you just don't know it because you're ignoring every attempt he comes up with to get you back." She argued. "I'm his sister, the person he confides in, and I get to hear him go on and on about how bad he screwed up."
I rolled my eyes, even though that probably wasn't the smartest thing for me to do. "If he really feels bad then he shouldn't have kissed her in the first place."
"She kissed him."
I rolled my eyes again out of pure annoyance. "When a guy gets caught cheating their first excuse is always 'she came onto me' instead of just owning up to their mistake. Plus he didn't call me for weeks before that and then that picture shows up on the internet. What the hell am I supposed to think, Anna?"
"Exactly what you have been thinking but you also need to give him a chance to explain."
"If he really wants to explain it to me then he needs to prove to me that he's willing to fight for me. If I meant anything to him at all he should fight for me or I'll sit here believing that what we had was nothing."
That led to the end of our conversation and we decided to just hang out, drop the Cameron subject and watch a movie and order some pizza. I didn't pay attention the movie that much though because my mind was occupied by what Anna said in regards to Cameron. Does he really feel guilty? Does he want me back?
Even though I'm incredibly mad at him and hurt by what he did I still really miss him and love him with all my heart. I wasn't ready to say goodbye to him when I did. Even now, after everything that's unfolded I'm still not. I miss him holding me in his arms, kissing my forehead and telling me he loves me. That's not so wrong, right? Am I willing to put my pride on hold to actually listen to my heart?
Before I knew it the date of April 6 had arrived and I found myself in the familiar setting of my backyard, entertaining people and dreading the moment Cameron arrived.
"He's here," Anna warned me as I got a glass of ice tea from the table Melissa, Cam's Mom, had set up.
I glanced to my right and sure enough he stood there with Zach and Michael as they greeted his parents.
"Just put on a brave face," Anna advised and I did exactly that as I turned to focus on my drink.
With my glass in my hand I moved over to the table set up with little finger foods, my Dad would start grilling later.
"Hey," A familiar voice said from behind me causing me to jump slightly in surprise. "Sorry to scare you."
I closed my eyes taking a deep breath before turning to face the face of my gorgeous ex. He looked the same, a little tired and his eyes weren't shining like they usually do but he was still perfect.
"Hi," I whispered, biting my lip. "How have you been?"
"Truthfully?" I nodded my head, wanting to know the truth. "Horrible. Molly, I messed up."
"Really?" I fake gasped at him, like this was new to me. "No shit Sherlock. If you didn't we wouldn't be like this!"
"Dammit, Molly! Listen to me! Let me fucking explain."
Our slight raise of voices caused a few family members to turn our way but Cameron didn't seem to care. He wants to have this conversation right now; alright fine we'll have it right now!
"Fine if you want to explain to me so god damn bad then I'll let you. I'm really eager to hear what you come up with." I crossed my arms over my chest and waited rather impatiently for him to explain.
"Can we go inside," He asked looking uncomfortable due to the fact that everyone was staring at us.
"No, we can't. If you want to have this conversation we'll have it right now."
"Cam," Zach interrupted. "Maybe we should sing her that song you wrote."
"You wrote a song?" I questioned looking at Cameron. Zach usually writes the songs. Cameron nodded weakly.
"It's about you and I recently." He answered staring at me.
"Perform it and then we'll talk."
Nodding he followed Zach, Dillon and Michael up to the little stage they had set up. Some of our old friends were coming and they wanted to hear the boys perform. I waited patiently for them to start singing. Soon the opening cords began and Zach stepped up the microphone, which didn't surprise me since Cameron doesn't really like to sing on his own but then when the song started Cameron took the lead. (A/N: Zach sings the parts in parenthesizes)
"I found my phone; I must have missed your message.
You got it wrong, it wasn't what your friends said.
Tell by your tone I've taken it to far again.
(Just when I thought I'd gone and fixed it all again)
You're friends are telling me you gotta move on.
(Just when I thought I'd gone and wrecked it all again)
You turned around so I could tell you what took so long (I don't know why I ever waited)
to say (Cause I'm dying just to say):
Instead of holding you, I was holding out.
I should of let you in but I let you down.
You were the first to give; I was the first to ask;
Now I'm in second place to get a second chance.
I should've known, took you and I for granted.
Gotta let you know, I was never underhanded.
Tell by your tone, I've taken it too far again.
(Just when I thought I'd gone and fixed it all again)
My friends are telling me the saw you with someone
(Just when I thought I'd gone and wrecked it all again)
You turned around so I could tell you what took so long (I don't know why I ever waited)
to say (Cause I'm dying just to say):
Instead of holding you, I was holding out.
I should of let you in but I let you down.
You were the first to give; I was the first to ask;
Now I'm in second place to get a second chance
My last mistake was putting my friends first.
I tried to laugh it off but I made things worse.
You were the first to give, I was the first to ask.
Now I'm in second place to get a second chance.
What you give is always what you get.
There's so much I haven't given yet.
If you could give another second chance.
(Just when I thought I'd gone and fixed it all again)
My friends are telling me they saw you with someone.
(Just when I thought I'd gone and wrecked it all again)
You turned around so I could tell you what took so long (I don't know why I ever waited)
to say (Cause I'm dying just to say):
Instead of holding you, I was holding out.
I should of let you in but I let you down.
You were the first to give; I was the first to ask;
Now I'm in second place to get a second chance
My last mistake was putting my friends first.
I tried to laugh it off but I made things worse.
You were the first to give, I was the first to ask.
Now I'm in second place to get a second chance.
Instead of holding you, I was holding out.
I should of let you in but I let you down.
You were the first to give; I was the first to ask;
Now I'm in second place to get a second chance."
Is it weird that all I could do was stand there in shock at the words that had just left Cameron's mouth? Did he really think that he was never going to get a chance to explain what happened to me?
"So what did you think, Mo?" Cameron was suddenly right in front of me and I had no idea where he'd come from.
"That was really good," I whispered out staring into his beautiful eyes. "You wrote that about us?"
He nodded his head. "Yeah it just-" He paused. "I guess I feel like I'm always getting more and more chances from you. So, with that said, I understand if you don't want to take me."
"Cam," I wrapped my arms around his neck causing a look of surprise to cross his flawless face. "You're never going to run out of second chances with me, I promise you that. No matter what you do and no matter how hard you hurt me, I'll always want to try and fix it. I love you, Cameron."
A huge smile spread across his face as he pulled me closer and kissed me softly on the lips.
"I love you too, Mo, so much." He whispered before pulling me into a hug, my head resting against his chest. "Happy birthday, baby."
"Happy birthday to you too," I stated looking up at him and smiling.
Grinning back down at me he placed a kiss on my nose causing me to giggle. I was exactly where I belonged and that's in Cameron's arms. I didn't need any presents this year because I have the best thing that can ever be present in our lives: the joy of not only loving someone else but being loved in return. What more does any girl want?