Little Mermaid AU.

Expect short crack. Missed the mark on #Thorki_All_In_60min on Twitter. Time differences are hard

Once upon a time, there was a fair prince of the Ocean Jotunheim named Loki.

Loki was a beautiful young prince, loved by all in his kingdom. Though born a runt among his brethren, what he lacked in large stature of the merfolk, he made up for in beauty. The merfolks – called the Jotun, after the great ocean that they resided in – were blue-skinned creatures with beautiful marks that almost glowed. They resided in the depths of the marvelous and the coldest ocean.

Loki's blue skin matched well in the dark depths of water, his glowing marks a sight to behold – but Loki's beauty was also well-matched with his curiosity, intelligence, and of course, tendencies for mischief. While beloved by all and especially by the King of the Deep Blue Ocean, Laufey himself, Loki always knew that he wanted something more than what was in his kingdom – he was interested in what lay above the surface. Besides, they were closer in size to Loki than he was to his own kind. To find someone close to him – how lovely would that be!

But Laufey was not interested in seeing his young runt of a son anywhere near the surface. After all, he had previously witnessed what kinds of foul devastation that humanity was capable of. He had once called upon the oceans to vanquish the evils of men.

Loki was interested in the surface, but beyond that, he had explored the surface. He hadn't been able to explore too much of it, because, well, legs, but he did. And he loved going to the sites of shipwreck and plundering all that was shiny. Hell, Tamatoa had helped when he felt generous enough. The gaudy bits of covering his entire back was a bit much, though. Although… Loki did like to indulge in covering himself in jewelry occasionally, so he never voiced his opinions of his gargantuan crab friend.

As sneaky as Loki was and as surreptitious as he liked to believe he was, his father's guards were very alert and loyal to Laufey. Of course he was ratted out.

"No, Loki! I forbid you to even go near the surface! Or to those dreaded little shipwreck sites! I have told you, child, that humans were dangerous! And that they can eat you alive!"

"But father!"

"You're to be locked away in your palace until you learn your lesson, Loki!"

Loki gasped. He would never.

"Now!"

The guards took little Loki with them, dragging him through the harsh currents of the ocean water, Loki's face plastered in indignation. How dare did father treat him so! It was so unfair!

But Loki would not let that slip. He would and could get out of the situation.

"If he thinks he can lock me away, he's wrong!"

You see, Loki had always the gift of magic – or seidr, as his people liked to call it – and opening doors were so trivial that it wasn't even much of a punishment.

Not that his father had to know. Loki swan up to the surface in the dead of the knight, when the palace was victim to sleep. He snuck out, looking for thrill of the surface. And he was right to be. Once he got to the surface, some sort of party was had on the oceans. Humans and their charming parties. Loki sighed admiringly. How adorable was it! They dressed in fancy clothing and were in a general mood of merriment that was familiar to his own palatial upbringings. But one person caught his eyes more than the others. Loki didn't know much about how dashing most humans were, but he was pretty sure there weren't many humans that could measure up to that. Or any merfolk for that matter.

He was a golden one, his blond hair practically shimmering under the lighting of the party. His presence was the most glorious one that Loki ever had the luck to be near to.

"Prince Thor, utmost congratulations on your birthday," another blond-haired man merrily toasted the prince. Ah, so this most charming of humans was a prince like Loki.

"Thank you, Fandral. I hope everyone is enjoying this party! Let us all enjoy today!" Thor's voice boomed, and his low voice reached Loki's ears, piercing directly through his ears and heart. Well, that was before everyone else ruined it with their loud voices.

He simply had to have the prince, and he wouldn't take it any other way.

Loki stalked the prince's boat, but Loki's merfolk sense told him that a storm was nearby, and its ferocious intent would rip through the ship. Loki was on guard when the thunder struck down and storms blew heavily into the ship, damaging it greatly. Loki, in panic, searched for his prince.

The prince thankfully wasn't too far under the water. He was unconscious from being struck by ship fragments, but otherwise okay. He was a bit cold, but Loki was sure the prince would live. He would breathe life and his seidr into him. Loki got Thor into the safety of the land, and lo, it was then Loki decided that there was absolutely nothing standing in his way that if he wanted to join Thor on land.

"My sweet prince, we shall meet again," Loki says with a short and sweet kiss to Thor's cheeks. You know, both on his face and ass, just for kicks. Or fin splashes. He was a marine creature, after all.

Loki dove swiftly under the currents but Thor woke up to catch a glimpse of the beautiful dark haired maiden – was she? He? – before there was a splash of water and he fell into the darkness again.

"Amora, you must teach me the spell to turn myself a human!"

Amore that sea-witch was Loki's dear friend. There weren't many merfolks gifted with talents such as his – indeed, it was a rare but precious gift – and Amora showed Loki the ways to control the power flowing through him.

"But my prince! The human world is full of dangers!"

"Yes, indeed, my prince! Though the world is SHINY!"

Tamatoa popped up, as if to warn Loki, but he wasn't going to listen to this singing crab today.

"I don't care Amora, I just met the most wonderful creature and I must pursue him," Loki said, breathlessly.

"Well, my prince, I do know a spell, but your most clever weapon cannot help you."

"Why?"

"Because the spell requires a trade, and that trade are your words. You won't be able to say a thing!"

"'Tis fine, Amora, I will make do with what I have," Loki enthusiastically replied.

"Very well, then."

Amora taught him the spell, and Loki got to the shore to recite the spells. Loki wasn't sure how he could do without his most powerful spells – most of them spoken – but the thought of pursuing Prince Thor drove him.

No one told him about the massive pain that would follow. Loki blacked out.

Once he came to, he was surrounded by the most peculiar feeling.

"Oh, you're awake," the golden prince smiles at him.

Loki wanted to say something, but his voice was lost. Fuck, he forgot.

"I found you lying on the shores in front of the castle. I brought you in… You do remind me of someone, though."

Loki couldn't say anything, but he smiled one of his devious smiles. Thor found it charming.

Although they couldn't hold a conversation, the young Asgardian prince (Loki is told that it is the name of the kingdom), takes to him fondly and they spend many hours just enjoying each other's presence.

Tamatoa once even came up to sing to him, "KISS THE BOY", but Thor was freaked out at the disembodied voices singing. Loki tried to shut Tamatoa up, but there was no helping. Tamatoa really liked to sing and he was going to sing is his prince was such a pain in the ass.

Then she comes along.

Princess Jane is a foreign kingdom's princess, and Loki isn't too sure why she's there. All he knows is that Thor is supposed to marry her.

Loki is pissed off. What pisses him off more is that Thor has taken a fancy to this wench. It is then when a hawk named Hawkeye shows up and squeaks warning to his ears.

"My prince! You're in big trouble, so your father says! You have exactly three days to come down or he will smote you and the Asgardian kingdom, along with your precious prince!"

'Tell him to suck it, because I'm going to have Thor's baby,' Loki mouths. He isn't really sure if he's pregnant or not, but he can say that he has snuck into the prince's bed at night and got acquainted with prince's large dick. Who wouldn't, especially when Loki had just such an easy access to it?

"Very well, I'll tell the king, my prince," the hawk flies off.

Amora then visits him in a panic. Amora is disguised as one of Jane's maids, dressed in a Midgardian style outfit, different from an Asgardian dressing. Loki finds it cleaver that she did this to visit him. What a powerful witch she is.

"My prince, I have done more research on the spell, and you're in grave danger. If you do not get kissed by your prince in two days, you shall disappear into the ocean, to become a mere foam! You must kiss him or else your fate is sealed. There is no other way to turn you back!"

She says with dear in her eyes along with guilt. She is, after all, the one who taught Lok the spell.

"The only other cure than his loving kiss is to stab his heart… Here's the enchanted knife if you'd take the other way out."

Amora hands him the knife and become a shadowy illusion to sneak out of the castle again.

The castle has been on high alert since the prince's engagement and Loki knows that they do not have much time left.

Loki doesn't know what to do, but a small hallucination of Tamatoa came to sing a rendition of "Poor Unfortunate Souls" to him for no reason. He wants to stab it.

He reaches a decision. Thor broke his heart to marry that stupid wench? He shall stab him so, then.

The oceans rage, and Loki guesses that Laufey got Hawkeye's message. He doesn't care. It will end sooner than both Laufey and Loki expected it to be.

A day flies by surprisingly fast when you're plotting. Loki is dressed in a green tunic, adorned with whatever jewelry and shell Tamatoa fetches him. The courtiers think that it is Thor who indulges him, but Loki indulges himself, thankyouverymuch. That no-good-Thor-son-of-a-bitch was going to get it, right before he falls asleep tonight. Pity, because Loki really liked him. To the point of casting a life-threatening spell.

There is another feast tonight, and Prince Thor is dressed in a princely garb with the most luxurious red cape. Loki feels annoyance rising within him. Why did Thor have to look so hot when Loki has to stab him?

Thor smiles, but its one of those uncertain smiles. Its not one of those oaf-ish smiles that he is absolutely smitten within. Loki will certainly stab a sense into him tonight. If he survives long enough.

Loki waits until it's the dead of the night to carry out the deed. They are on a ship and Loki takes a walk to wash off the nerves before.

"Loki!"

He hears his name. Who?

"It's Helblindi and Býleistr!"

They announce themselves, in an efforted shout-whisper, but it's sort of hard to miss two giant merfolks.

'What are you doing here?!' Loki mouths, but the moonlight is far too dark to illuminate Loki's features. They think it's a distress signal and proceed to throw Loki a giant Frost spear. A spear made of literal ice.

"Amora told us! If that doesn't work, use this!"

Helblindi says, ever so helpfully. Not.

Loki tosses it aside and slips into Thor's chamber. That wench is here, too.

Loki spitefully looks at Thor and Jane once and stabs Thor in the heart. Thor awakens, but it's not pain. It's of delight.

"Oh, Loki, you've come to save me!"

"….?"

Loki looks at Thor, confused.

"I know you're doing this to get me to see that I don't belong with Jane, I belong with you! Your love for me drove you to this!"

Thor continues, still leaving the dagger towards his heart. Was Loki blind to Thor's madness? What was wrong with him? He's been stabbed, for God's sake! The blood touches Loki's legs and Loki's spell is broken and he turns into a merfolk again.

"What is wrong with you, you've been stabbed you oaf!"

"Oh, Loki, were you the beauty who saved me on my birthday? We must get married! My heart doesn't belong to Jane! It belongs to you!"

Thor still blabbered on, holding onto Loki's merfolk body. The coldness of his skin doesn't seem to bother Thor, who must have enough heat for both of them.

"Can merfolk be out of water for extended periods of time? And can we lay with each other like this? Because I think we should get married very soon, but the preparations should take a while. And before that, I think we should fuck," Thor whispers into Loki's ears and Loki is dumbfounded. His mouth is agape, mirroring Jane's.

Jane gets kicked out of Thor's chambers, and Jane soon hears two very handsome princes get it on.

It's loud enough that Helblindi and Býleistr hear it, too, along with a declaration for a royal wedding between both the land and ocean kingdoms.

Both Odin, the King of Asgard, and Laufey, the King of Jotunheim, are furious, but they resign and accept the wedding when Loki announces that they have a child together, growing within Loki. The Land and the Oceanic kingdom were now joined, and they lived happily(?) ever after.

The end.