 disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Naruto nor do I wish to. I am merely a writer with an idea.
fantasia
n : a musical composition of a free form usually incorporating several familiar themes
You're walking down the hallway of this lost dream. Looking at the blurry memories that you never want to end. Replay and pause. You see his face. Tears to your eyes but you stare. Remember his touch and the feeling. The pressure of lost tears and sudden smiles.
You know he lives inside those moments, distant as they are but still there. Always there. He'll never leave you. You know.
The face staring back at you makes you want to curl up and die. It is the most beautiful feeling that you have felt, like flying on dark clouds and lollipop sensations. You look out from your mind and see the outside trees. The leaves. The wind. You see it all and you wish you never saw. Because it makes you want to cry and slowly tear yourself apart. Just to be free. Just to be with him.
Eyes staring at you from every angle. Leering and sneering and pushing you back to the hole you call a home. Eyes telling you dreaded tales of hatred and devastation. In their eyes, you see yourself crucified and softly suffering above their heads. A given sacrifice again and again. Their minds are full of the visions and emotions. You cannot differentiate between their intentions. They're all the same, they're all the same.
You turn away, anger through your fist but you say to yourself, "I'll show them" quietly and filled with passion, just to not let them know.
They'll be surprised. Oh, they will.
The sun is rising and you sit on the roof and watch, smiling. This is your innocence shinning through the sky. No on will see and no one will judge and understand, just how wonderful you can be. You don't even realize your beauty and shadowed fate. You simply like the warmth of the sun because you have never felt another's. Mother sun is there, child, she'll keep you warm and love you with her rays. She's there and she won't turn away. So you don't either and close your eyes and think of food and wonder about todays class and ignore the twitch in your eye when you think of him because you know you'll beat him someday, and someday you will. You lay down on the roof and watch the sky turn golden blue. Smiles of the old and new.
And old feelings never want to die. Because you don't want to let go. Of his hand. Of his fate. Of your love. Of the despair that feasts. Of the wonderful joys of hate.
Because you're just a boy with a dream that is bigger than you ever were. You want but can't have and you'll work and work and work hard because you know and believe and believe. As strongly as he never did believe in you, you believed in yourself. Watched from the sidelines and smiled in content. You've proved yourself and that's all that matters.
Right?
Dark hair and dark eyes, pale skin and unearthly magnificence. He is a demi-god to others, the Adonis without the pedestal, but to you, to you he is…something else.
You're too caught up in emotions to realize just how much you are like him. Just how both of you resemble each other. It may be a sick twist for all the times when you wished him dead that you would be the one to miss him the most.
Just like now. You don't know what to do.
You're sitting on the roof and you watch mother Sun say goodnight. Now it's his time to rise and you close your eyes and picture his smirk and let the saddest smile come to your chapped lips. You are tired and he knows it. He knows all of you but you don't want that to be true. He always preferred the dark and nighttime. That is why you are here. Letting him take over for just a few minutes so that you can be at peace.
The moon is full, on this hallowed day. And you let your eyes slip from and to every angle and picture the shinning face that only comes alive when called by the darkness. You know. Oh, how you know.
Silent tears won't pay for all the penances.