Faded Memories

Chapter 1

Alright, this is my first TMNT fanfic so be merciful in the reviews. No flames if you please! Disclaimer: I do not own TMNT (Why would I be writing fanfiction if I did?)

Raphael's POV:

"Spike, NO!" I cried, my arm still reaching out for my former pet, even though he had already hit the ground five stories below. Spike, I refused to think of him as "Slash," lay motionless on the cracked sidewalk. Tears pricked at my eyes, but I blinked them away and turned to help Leo up.

"You okay?"

Leo nodded slowly, "Yeah…You?"

I shrugged, "I'll be alright."

Seeing the question in my brother's eyes, I was glad of the excuse to turn away at the sound of approaching footsteps. Mikey stumbled over to the two of us, wincing due to his multiple cuts and bruises, his right hand clutching his upper plastron, nursing what had to be a broken rib or two.

"H-hey…Where's Spike?" He asked weakly.

"That was Spike?!" Gasped Leo, dashing over to the side of the roof.

"We'll fill you in later dude…"

I joined Leo at the edge of the roof where he was looking over the edge, his brows knit in confusion.

"Raph…What happened to Spike?"

I looked at my brother in amazement. "What are you blind? Can't you see Spike fell from the roof and is laying right…there…What?!"

The sidewalk was empty and the only indication that Spike had been lying there was the shell shaped crater of cracked pavement.

Leo looked grim. "This isn't good. Let's get out of here. Come on Mikey, Don-"

He broke off as we all realized that Donnie wasn't on the roof with us.

"Where-?"

"No idea," I said with a shrug. "he and Mikey jumped on Spike to keep him from hurting me, but after that I lost track of him."

I burned with shame at yet another time I had shown that I would not make a good leader for our team. Leo turned away to examine the rooftop before commanding,

"Spread out and search, but stay within earshot and sight of each other. We'll do this one roof at a time."

We scattered, searching every door, behind every object, and within every shadow, but there was no sign of Donnie. It was like he had vanished into thin air!

I returned to where Leo stood in the center of the flat roof, his eyes serious and concerned.

"Where's Mikey?" I growled before yelling: "MIKEY!"

"Shh!" Hissed Leo, clapping a hand over my mouth. "Do you hear that?"

Now that everything was silent, I could hear a faint sound coming from the ally to our right. Crying.

Not waiting for Leo, I raced down the fire escape to the ground. It was dark in the alley and I had to squint while my eyes grew used to the inky shadows. When I could see, I could make out a figure at the back of the alley. Mikey was on his knees, shoulders shaking from ragged sobs. He turned streaming eyes on me and choked out:

"R-Raph!"

"What's wrong Mikey?" Came Leo's voice from behind me. He moved forward to crouch by my baby brother and let out a cry of horror unlike anything I had ever heard him make. I roughly shouldered my way between them and my heart seemed to freeze in my chest.

Lying on the pavement was Donnie's bo staff, snapped in half jaggedly. The blade that usually was never out; was broken in half and slick with fresh blood as was the surrounding ground. A faint gleam caught my eye at the edge of my vision and I turned to see that the wall had three deep lines gouged into it. Drying blood was dripping down and filling the gashes, giving them the appearance of an open wound. I swallowed hard as I felt my stomach lurch.

Rage boiled up inside me and I clenched my hands into tight, shaking fists as I struggled to keep my tears from falling.

"Slash…" I growled. The truth that I had not wanted to see had practically punched me in the gut and I had no choice but to accept it as reality. Spike was gone and in his place was a warped, sadistic monster who enjoyed seeing others in pain and would kill and manipulate people who trusted him to exact some twisted form of revenge.

Looking down, I opened my hand to reveal the strip of purple fabric I had retrieved from Slash during our battle. Donnie's mask… That traitor had either killed or kidnapped my little brother and, in a way, it was all my fault. I got mad and took the mutagen, I left Spike alone with it, I spilled my feelings to him whenever I was angry, and I was too blinded by my temper and excitement to see Slash's true goal before he hurt my family. I had failed them.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and another pair of arms wrap around me as Mikey hugged me for all he was worth. I looked up into Leo's sapphire eyes. They were wet with unshed tears and his voice shook as he said,

"L-Let's go Raph. We-we have to tell Master Splinter what happened."

I looked at him in disbelief. Our brother is missing, possibly dead, and Leo wanted to play the perfect son and waste time going to explain everything to Splinter?

"No," I jerked away from my brothers and glared at Leo. "No. You tell Splinter what happened, Oh Fearless Leader!" I spat those words like they were an insult. "I'm going to keep looking for Donnie. That's what real brothers are supposed to do."

I turned and climbed the building to the roof once more, running away at top speed. Leo was calling desperately for me to come back, but I ignored him. I wasn't really thinking as I ran, but one thought was seared into my mind, both a purpose, and a prayer.

"Find Donnie, find Donnie, Oh God, help me find my little brother!"

How did I do? I role play as Raph every now and then so he is probably the only one I will ever do in first person and this might be the last first person I will ever do in this story. Well, leave me reviews! Those are like oxygen to me when it comes to writing.