Hey. Sups? Uh…well- I have written another weird thing that consists of Naruto Sasuke and a weird situation that will develop into even weirder situations. Uh, hints of SasuNaru..? Whatevers.
Warnings? I'm not really good with warnings. It's just…weird…ish…
Enjoy and PLEASE review. You know, it makes writing a hundred times better. You know, being acknowledged and all by you so I won't feel like I'm a loser with no life so I write till late at night stories about fictional boys T.T
God, he hoped this was a joke. He hoped, God help him, that this was some kind of sick, annoying prank Kiba pulled on him or something or maybe even Itachi.
Because seriously, the guy had some issues. After he hooked up with Sakura, which was pretty damn weird in the first place, he promptly flipped Fugaku off and told him he quits. Fugaku had gotten a stroke but he had just recently been released from the hospital. But he has still wave-hits. Like menopause.
But anyway, Itachi started laughing and smiling like a human-being and to say the least it freaked Sasuke, Naruto and pretty much anyone who knew Itachi out. The rare smile on his lips was usually caused by either Sasuke or Naruto when they made funny, weird, embarrassing shit.
Funny, weird, embarrassing shit like the one taking place now.
"Why are you naked?" The blonde questioned rather calmly. "I'm taking a shower, dobe."
"Ah, yes. Why are you taking a shower in the kitchen?" Sasuke glared. "Since the bathrooms are…occupied."
"I see." With that Naruto abruptly turned around and ran out of the room, leaving a ripped, wet, and confused Sasuke.
"What the fuck." And Sasuke, being the annoying tight-assed virgin that he was thought that something happened to Naruto and why, so he searched for him. With only a kitchen towel. "Idiot, wait."
Naruto stopped and peaked over his shoulder. He groaned. Fuck. "Sasuke, what the fuck are you doing," He asked.
"Chasing you."
"I can see that, thank you." They stood awkwardly. "Dude, why were you showering in the kitchen," Sasuke looked uncertain.
"I…don't know."
"Right. And you didn't consider that Sakura, Ino or any girl who is present here at the moment could have just walked in and saw you wearing your birth suit?" Sasuke looked down upon himself. He smirked a little. "I don't think they would mind that."
"Not at all, they will take pictures and sell them to crazed fan girls and become rich."
"And we, as rational sapiens, would want to encourage sane people becoming rich." Naruto's eye twitched. "Dude, are you high?"
"I don't know really. The last thing I remember is…when you entered the shower."
"You mean, the kitchen."
"Yeah, that." Naruto sighed. "We might be able to discuss this if you wore appropriate clothes." Sasuke again looked down on his nearly nude self and scratched his belly. He has seen this body so many times, what was all the fuss about? He wasn't intoxicatingly fascinating or anything. "Sasuke, you're in your house, you can go to your room and change, if you don't mind."
"And you do?" Naruto itched his nose nervously. "Not…particularly." Sasuke looked at him intently, waiting for him to continue. When he didn't he sighed and left for his room. Naruto slowly followed after a sharp look from Sasuke.
"You look weird."
"Thank you." They were currently on Sasuke's bed with three of Naruto's fingers in Sasuke's mouth.
This started when they arrived to Sasuke's room and said Uchiha person decided he liked Popsicles. Naruto was all for it as soon as Sasuke had put on some clothes. "Do you like Popsicles, Naruto," Sasuke had asked. Naruto mumbled 'yes, a lot' and found himself on his back on Sasuke's bed with said Uchiha person pinned him down on said bed. "Sasuke," Naruto had stated. And suddenly Sasuke claimed he wanted a Popsicle and therefore took three of Naruto's fingers and shoved them in his mouth.
"Sasuke."
"Hmmmhmmm?"
"You do realize that my fingers are not a Popsicle?" Sasuke nodded. His pupils were dilated and unfocused. "You're on drugs."
"Hmmmhmmm…" Naruto sighed and closed his eyes. What did I do to deserve this shit? Five seconds later he winced at Sasuke's over-zealous actions. "What are you doing, Sasuke? What the fuck is wrong with you today?" Sasuke blinked and about ten seconds of comprehending Naruto's words and their meaning he pulled back with a frown.
"Shit, I don't know."
"Hey, Sasuke?" Sasuke was in very deep thought, but he at least seemed somewhat more composed. "Yes."
"Do you wanna run away from your house?"
"…not particularly. Why?" Naruto was getting comforted that sane ice-princess Sasuke was back. He could handle with him a lot better, unlike when he had to take care of the Uchiha person and be responsible. It wasn't in his nature to just, you know, be someone who isn't goofy. "C'mon, it'd be fun. We can like, pack a bag and supplies and leave a note and shit—and then the one who pulled this shit on you would feel so fucking guilty he'll confess and we'll bring him a monster of a payback."
Sasuke was considering. "My mother will be worried,"
"Oh, come on, mama's boy—"
"And my father will most-likely have another minor stroke."
"It was a minor one only?"
"Yes."
"Then what the fuck he making a huge deal out of it?"
"Since Itachi, his only hope and shining light and whatever was 'gone'."
"Dude,"
"I know." They were smiling. "C'mon," Naruto urged. Sasuke sighed. "Where will we go?"
Naruto beamed at him. "Doesn't father-fucking matter! Wherever! Oh, oh I know! We can go to that really creepy old abandoned house that looks like it's haunted and like, tell freaky stories by the campfire! DUDE it would be so fucking—"
"Naruto."
"Right, rambling. Sorry." Sasuke chuckled. "Aren't you afraid of supposedly haunted houses?"
"You kidding me? That was FOREVER ago." Sasuke wasn't sure but didn't comment. "I think Itachi gave me some of your Ritalin."
"That sick fuck."
"Yuh-huh." A weird silence then ensued. Sasuke was staring at Naurto who in turn was staring at the ceiling. "I don't know if it is for the short-attention span thing you have,"
"I do not have a short attention span goddamn yo—"
"But you can never manage to look at me for more than five seconds each time." Naruto glanced at Sasuke and saw that indeed, when their gazes locked after five seconds he'd start blushing. "I'm just not used to the attention," he mumbled awkwardly to the carpet. When he looked back up Sasuke was very close. He held his chin in a very intimate way and forced him to look at his dark, dark eyes. "We're best friends for a lot of years, Naruto." Naruto gulped. He closed his eyes for a millisecond then opened them and decided he'd be calm about this, give Sasuke the look he was giving him.
Sasuke was a bit taken aback when Naruto's eyes opened and were smoldering and…something. Something exciting and it was starting to make him feel hot. Naruto continued to stare into his eyes with an expectant look, like he was waiting.
Waiting for what, Sasuke didn't know, but he started feeling his body's temperature rising significantly. He had no idea how to act on it.
Meanwhile, Naruto easily noticed this change of posture and leaned in a bit breathing softly on Sasuke's apparently very sensitive lips and drew back, blinking innocently. Sasuke took in a shaky breath, and exhaled through his quivering nosestrills. "We should start packing," he stated nonchalantly. Sasuke gulped and nodded. "Itachi and Sakura would finish fucking soon and that means Itachi will come and visit you to see on the Ritalin effects."
Sasuke was still at the same spot. "Sasuke."
"What makes you think it's Itachi?" He suddenly asked, looking curiously at Naruto. "I don't, but it's funnier that way." Sasuke was still blushing. "Uh, dude, should I begin packing and you'll join me when you decide to exit from La la-land?"
"Sure. Wait, no!" Naruto smirked. "Dobe."
"Teme." They packed in silence, hurrying then leaving for the…erm…kitchen to get food supplies and a post-aid with pens.
'Dear people in my life I can't really stand
I have decided upon this day I cannot endure living with you people, all you do is make me miserable.
I have gone to an unknown place to reside and do not dare follow me,
I will officially emasculate your asses.
Please understand I hate you all and try not to feel too sorry about it.
Goodbye, douche-sacks,
Sasuke.'
"Your dad will definitely have a major stroke after this."
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