The Hunt's End
A/N: Well it's shortly after midnight, and I don't exactly have TOO good of a plot idea, so chances are you'll be reading this no earlier than 5 P.M. Eastern time on the 22nd.
Anyways, "Skank Hunt" felt way darker than I could have imagined, which is a side that this show doesn't take that often, and when it does it pulls it off well, but I guess it just kind of hit me off-guard.
(God-damn it Trey and Matt, I seriously thought you were going to kill of Heidi Turner! Not that I really wanted you to, but that was kind of anti-climactic what you did there. But you totally had me going, so I applaud you for that)
If you ask me, "Member Berries" and "Skank Hunt" are probably parts 1 and 2 of a 3 part episode. The plot's dug itself so deep already; I can't imagine it going on like this for 8 more episodes. It'll probably fizzle out by the end of episode 2003 and pick back up around episode 2008.
And another thing, since when did Annie, Red, and basically every single girl at the school have a relationship? I guess something like that does go unknown when you kind of restrict them to the background a lot, but that aside, Stan and Wendy are off AGAIN? Dang, this is getting old :P (In case you weren't counting, this is the 3rd time they've broken up) From what I can tell based on the ending, Kyle and Cartman seem to have been the only single boys in the whole school. Yeesh. (Sorry KyBe lovers!)
I'll save the rest for later, on with the show!
This story, as you've probably written this on your arms now, is not part of my RFSP series and I take negative .000021% ownership of anything South Park related :)
Enjoy!
"That's it! I'm doing it! I'm really going to do it this time, and I'm not looking back anymore!"
Scott Malkinson found himself back in Mr. Mackey's office for the sixth time that day, but this time he seemed really out of it. He had a wildly crazed look in his eyes that could've only been birthed from the sheer madness and anxiety he had been feeling the past few days. Mr. Mackey had eventually convinced him not to commit social media suicide (which Mackey often abbreviated to SMS of all things) but once Scott's girlfriend had broken up with him, all the negativity and insanity had crept back up on him before he even knew it.
"No Scott, please don't do it, m'kay!" Mr. Mackey, though very annoyed by this point due to Scott's constant SMS pondering, was still a counselor, so he still had to be concerned over a student's possible "death".
"You don't have to take the route that Heidi, Timmy, Esther, and Kenny all took, m'kay! There's enough people out there that would grieve deeply at your decision, m'kay!"
"Enough people!?" Scott yelled back, with tears starting to form. "Enough isn't enough right now man! Nobody likes me anymore! My own girlfriend just dumped me! People have always been blocking my Twitter account left and right! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!"
Scott quickly pulled up a page on Twitter's mobile version that read "Are you sure you want to delete your account?" with a "Yes" and "No" option written underneath it. Scott's finger was hovering just a few centimeters away from the "Yes" button and kept trying to move his finger closer to it.
"Scott, no!"
"Good-bye world! You've asked for it, and now thou hast received!"
Scott quickly tapped the "Yes" icon, permanently erasing all photos, posts, videos, etc., off of the face of Twitter. Scott then ran out of Mr. Mackey's office screaming as loud as he could before collapsing in the middle of the hallway, where he began to weep silently.
It wasn't too long after, that a 5th grade girl barged into Mr. Mackey's office, emotionally jarred by how SkankHunt42 had taken a photo of her mom and put a dick in her mouth.
I cannot fix you…I am leaving you forever
Those were the words that hung in Stan's mind as he slowly made a stroll through town. The air around him seemed to fall heavy on his shoulders and clouds had settled in, transforming the sky into complete overcast.
He wasn't entirely sure why Wendy had written that in her break-up note. She couldn't fix him? What exactly was there to fix about him? Was that just a nicer way to get her feelings out than a possible alternative?
That's what he needed to find out. If the two of them were going to walk through life without each other for a third time, he needed this sort of closure. He wasn't going to be another statistic by "committing suicide" like he had already witnessed people around him do, both boys and girls.
It was a few minutes later when he arrived at Stark's Pond, but unfortunately for him, she had yet to arrive. He sat on the bench that had always been there for years, just a mere stone's throw away from the actual pond.
"If there's one person I can't see getting too largely affected by all of this, its Butters." Stan thought to himself once he sat on the bench. "I suppose that's one perk of having a long-distance relationship, huh? Besides, I'm sure his parents would ground him if he quit Twitter."
"But what about everyone else? Token recently took the dive as well, and Tweek is at a level of distress that's abnormal for even him. Sure, there are several alternatives to Twitter, but what purpose would that give us?"
Stan's thinking was interrupted by a feminine-sounding cough coming from behind. He turned around to see exactly who he thought he would. He got off the bench and walked over to her.
"You wanted to see me here, correct?" the noirette asked.
"Uh…yeah. About-."
"About what I wrote in the note? Stan, I'm going to be honest with you, that was something I've needed to get off of my chest for the past week now and-."
"Just tell me this: Is it how you always felt about me? Have I always been unfixable to you?"
Wendy sighed and thought over it for a moment, in an attempt to make her answer as honest as possible.
"No…it's not."
"Then what exactly did you mean by it?"
Wendy turned around, thinking that her note may have had the wrong choice of words.
"Wendy…you don't think I'm SkankHunt42, do you?"
"What!?" Wendy replied as she whirled back around. "How COULD you even think that, Stan!? Of course not!"
"Then what did-."
"It was a group plan, didn't you notice!? After what happened to Heidi, we couldn't risk losing anyone else. That's why we did what we did!"
"But that just drove lots more people to it! Cartman's probably going to be next and-."
"Well, GOOD! That was our ultimate goal anyways! After what he's done recently-."
"No, you don't understand! Cartman's NOT SkankHunt42!"
Wendy stopped talking and froze. The one person that could've been the Internet troll really wasn't.
"W-w-w-what?"
Wendy realized that they had all gone through this for basically nothing. For once, the wicked had been set as the innocent. She was well aware of what the boys had already done to Cartman, and now there really was no backspace key, no Control Z, no rewind button, no "delete post" function…nothing could undo what they did.
"Then who-."
"We don't know! Kenny Tweeted that he may have found out, but then someone shot his phone mid-post! Nobody has any clue at all anymore!"
Wendy turned back around, this time with a more depressed look in her eyes.
"Oh…my…God…."
"You still didn't answer me though." Stan continued. "What do you find so unfixable about me?"
Wendy turned back around to face him. "Stan I-I-I…I don't really know. I'm sorry, but I'm not sure I can give a clear answer. Ever since SkankHunt42 came about, nobody really seems to know anything anymore. This whole catastrophe has separated all of us, but aside from all of that, I just feel like…like…there's something about you that I feel like I've seen…change. Maybe it's fear of change, but even though I can't quite lay my finger on it, I feel like I had to do this Stan…I'm sorry…."
A/N: Holy schmoly, that took me WAY longer than expected! I don't know why it took me 3 days to get this little quickie written up, but somehow, I just felt like there was no real definite epilogue to this episode, I guess.
One more thing though, why hasn't Kenny been getting much screen time? We saw him at the beginning and at the end of this episode, but why wasn't he with the others when they were breaking Cartman's stuff?
Anyways, I'll see you all later in the week! Hopefully my one-shot for episode 2003 won't take me as long! :)